To ask how you afford private school fees

[Elephantslovetofly]

We have a young DD, and although it's a while away yet we are thinking about school. The area we live in does not have a good local school, and we are considering an independent school for her

Disclaimer - I went to a private school and for what it's worth had a great education. I enjoyed being there and did well in exams. I believe my parents decided to send me there also because of a lack of a good local state school. I might have done fine at a state school, but will never know I guess

We are probably 45 min drive from the school I went to - further than is ideal. DH doesn't mind driving her there if we decide to send her there though (if she is fortunate enough to get a place)

The issue is whether we can afford it. The fees are about £9k per year for junior and £12k for senior. Assuming we therefore need to find £1k per month for fees

My cheeky question is this - if you have a child at private school, what does your household earn and how difficult is it to find the money each month to pay the fees? Our income is about £60k, and at the moment I don't think we can do it (along with our other current expenses). Wages might go up a bit before we would need to start paying, but if this is always going to be a pipe dream i'd rather get over it now

I know we could move closer to a good state school, but am exploring my options at this stage. Don't really want to move, as we have a good house here and are settled

Thanks for reading

I'm not sure I agree with much you say, 80k, and definitely not that.

I'm well aware that most people can't spend what I spent on helping my ds deal with his disability. Should I not have done that? Let the state chuck him on the scrap heap of low expectations as it does to all kids with his diagnosis? Following the philosophy, if that's the right word for it, put forward by Harry etc that is presumably what I should have done. Or is it? Hard to know, because for people like her, unfairness only comes in one shape - they can't deal with anything that falls outside their narrow little view. when it encroaches, they dismiss it as irrelevant.

Giz some of that 300k, Karlos. Could really use it.

So you are acknowledging that, currently, mostly, in order to have quality SEN provision, you need to spend?
So what if you can't?
Your attacks on Harry with the "people like you" comments are not sitting well.
There are schools with amazing provision for SEN, they are just state.

Harry, nothing makes our dear dads prouder than seeing how we have got on and having our DS in private schools, its what they would have liked to have done for us but couldnt. They were wary about us going to Oxbridge but when it was done and dusted they were happy for us and they both gave us the gift of their work ethic.

The attacks on me by Karlos don't reflect on me, Lizzy.

So I don't mind at all.

Ok. Glad you think it's funny. trust me when you look at your kid and know no matter how much you spend now he's going to suffer and struggle and sink when you're gone, laughter doesn't come that easily.
There's worse afflictions though; as reading your posts makes very clear to me.

Sounds like you had a great family unit, bella.

Crikes, who knows what sort of impact that had on you! Or what sort of impact the opposite may have on others!

Karol, you are lucky you found a private school with great SEN my littly has been kicked out of his before he even started Reception because he is speech delayed. However luckily late in the day we have found a great state on our doorstep. Although we have had private offers I am wary as I dont want him kicked out again. However if I had to I would sell everything to ensure he was not on the scrapheap, what patent wouldnt? I take my hat off to you.

I mean parent! blooming phone.

Okay Harry, do you think the disproportionate number of privately educated people in elite universities, and elite professions is all down to snobbishness? What are you trying to get at? Because, I am actually trying to figure out what you are driving at. What do you want? What do you propose to do? How have you analysed the situation?

Bella, sorry to hear of your troubles. Finding the right school is so hard. We went private in the end as LEA would not allow us to run DS programme alongside school. And class size was huge, ds would not have coped. Small prep was willing to accommodate and he has thrived. If school is willing to work with you then that is the most important thing. Schools able to do this are rarer then hens teeth so if you have found one stick with it!!

I want equality. I want ability to be recognised and ability to have more of an impact on your future prospects than money.

Because the only thing privately educated children have in common is money.

Yet privately educated people dominate society.

Lots to think about our private school fees include a day from7:45 -6 so no need to pay wrap around - snacks, lunch and afternoon tea - weekly swimming and sports lesson as well as many other clubs - also break up early so holidays cheaper - everyone has their own opinions do what's right for you and child - inspection reports are floored in many ways and can change visits schools and talk to parents there 🤔

The only thing privately educated children have in common is money. Like my DH, coppers son, scholarship to leading public school, still hasn't got two ha'pennies to rub together .... It's a narrow little world for some people isn't it

Thanks Karlos, we have been lucky we have found a small state school with 60 children on roll and a adult child ratio of 1 to 7 plus the head is more than happy for us to bring in our independent SALT and for the LSA to take him aside everyday for his ican exercises, pinching ourselves as we feel so lucky to have this on our doorstep.

That sounds very good bella. Good head teacher makes all the difference but a lot depends on area. We were in Surrey and they are, and I am happy to defend this statement in court, total bastards. They may be better now and god knows I hope they are because they nearly killed me and DH.

Your DH has got no money, Karlos?

Considered divorce?

Not as often as your spouse has, I'll bet

Because the only thing privately educated children have in common is money.

This simply isn't true.

I'm on spouse number 7, Karlos.

Do you think that's a bad thing?

It generally is, 80k.

We can agree that it's not academic ability, anyway.

It has genuinely never occurred to people like Harry that possessing academic ability is as much a matter of luck, and as unconnected with being "deserving", however that is defined, as being born wealthy. It is staggering, but this literally never occurs to them. They argue for meritocracy without ever having wondered what that might mean for those without merit, or whether that would be a more just society than that which we have today.

It is just luck Karlos, we are in Herts and generally the SEN provision is crap, its pure luck that the school is so small and caring.