To ask how you afford private school fees

[Elephantslovetofly]

We have a young DD, and although it's a while away yet we are thinking about school. The area we live in does not have a good local school, and we are considering an independent school for her

Disclaimer - I went to a private school and for what it's worth had a great education. I enjoyed being there and did well in exams. I believe my parents decided to send me there also because of a lack of a good local state school. I might have done fine at a state school, but will never know I guess

We are probably 45 min drive from the school I went to - further than is ideal. DH doesn't mind driving her there if we decide to send her there though (if she is fortunate enough to get a place)

The issue is whether we can afford it. The fees are about £9k per year for junior and £12k for senior. Assuming we therefore need to find £1k per month for fees

My cheeky question is this - if you have a child at private school, what does your household earn and how difficult is it to find the money each month to pay the fees? Our income is about £60k, and at the moment I don't think we can do it (along with our other current expenses). Wages might go up a bit before we would need to start paying, but if this is always going to be a pipe dream i'd rather get over it now

I know we could move closer to a good state school, but am exploring my options at this stage. Don't really want to move, as we have a good house here and are settled

Thanks for reading

Elephantslovetofly

This thread could easily be derailed by people giving their unhelpful opinions on private schools generally (which you didn't ask for) or accusing you of being an anti state school snob (which I assume you're not!)
We sat down with all the figures etc and decided what were our priorities and could we afford it- in a way there's no right or wrong as only you can decide.
The main issue would be more dc as I am assuming by the time my dc3 starts school that dc1 will be in a non fee paying grammar...... I don't have a backup plan!

DD went to private primary school from five to 11 but prior to that her nursery fees from three months old (overseas) were about the same. I'm a single parent who's never received maintenance and at the time I was earning about £50k (DD is 18 now). I chose private because a) I was coming back to the UK and wasn't on any waiting lists - state schools here are brilliant but oversubscribed and b) I was commuting to London and having DD in the same place from 8am to 6pm gave her more stability. And yes c) class sizes (14 maximum) and d) pastoral care.

What I hadn't factored in was the cost of holiday care and in particular the fact that private schools here have several weeks longer per year than state schools. I would start a spreadsheet every January with her holiday weeks and gradually fill it in - summer was the worst - I think she had nine weeks instead of six.

DD was incredibly happy there, did well, passed the eleven plus and is about to take A levels. It was manageable with strict savings and a weekly cashflow monitoring outgoings. I'm an inveterate saver and an accountant - and weirdly it may be easier when there is just one of you.

I'd put aside the amount of school fees, on a monthly basis as soon as you are both paid, in a totally separate account (sorry if this has already been suggested) for a year and see if your standard of living is bearable. I would say it's definitely achievable if that's a priority for you.

I think as others say, it depends how many DC you have....
Also if class size is an issue for you have a look for a small school... The school I work in has 18 in one class.. My friend sends her son to private school and his class size is the same... Obviously there are lots more benefits at the fee paying school but if class size is your main concern you may find a state school that can offer you what you want...

The alternative which we did, and I'm sure lots of others do, is to use the money to move into the catchment of better state schools.
There are some fantastic ones out there.

I went to a private school. I was an only child and my parents decided it was cheaper to pay one set of school fees than to move to an area with better state schools. There was no spare money though. Holidays were to family. My friends seemed to spend their holidays at Disney land, in france, somewhere exotic. they had ponies. The catchment was huge and although I had friends in town (we were within walking distance) my best friend lived almost an hour away so I rarely saw her out of school.
Academically I probably did better in a school with smaller classes. It got me into an excellent university though -but that hasn't translated into a high earning salary which would make independent educational possible for our kids.

Some really good points being raised here, thank you to everyone who is contributing

There is one lovely state school near us (next village) with small class sizes, but I think we are just a bit far away to get in (we're about 3 miles away and classes of 15) - no guarantee it won't be filled with children from the local village, plus they have sibling rule

We will certainly try to save money once I finish maternity leave and see how we go - that is a good plan

Our household income is around £200k. We have to pay for prep school but husband is headmaster of an old / famous school where secondary is included in his package.

We've bought our house outright so don't have rent / mortgage to think about.

As someone else mentioned, there are hidden costs such as uniform, trips, lunches etc. I'd have scrimped and saved for a private education as I think it gave DH and I a tremendous boost for the rest of our lives.

Hi OP good luck with your search. I just wanted to say that state schools don't ever from what I know have '40+' kids to a class. That is misinformation. I wonder if there are other assumptions you may be making about state schools that make them seem unappealing while in fact your DD might do perfectly well in one? State schools and particularly primary can be wonderful. If I were you I'd start by visiting all the local ones to get an idea, with an open mind.

I also think 40 min drive each way to go to school will make your life very very hard. That's time that could be spent with your DD doing activities / homework / play dates. It's such a pity being in a car for that long each day.

For what it's worth I went to private school as a child and was miserable for various reasons. My DS goes to a lovely state school and couldn't be happier. He is also in a very multicultural class which I value.

I think on a household salary of around 60K it would be very very hard if not impossible and IMO not worth it. Why not spend that money on a new house nearer to good state schools or on extracurricular activities?

Do factor in fee rises. When we accepted DD1's place, the fees were £2500 a term, but when she left 7 years later, they were nearly £6,000 per term. Funnily enough our salaries hadn't increased that much! They had actually decreased quite a bit.

With two DDs, it became a struggle, and we are relieved that they both chose to attend the local state grammar for secondary (they made that decision independently of the cost issue). With a joint income of approx £160k, we find London secondary private fees prohibitive. I'm not sure the primary fees were worth it either. My DDs were reunited with some of their nursery friends at the grammar, who had in the meantime attended state primary instead, so what was the point? I guess they speak a bit 'posher' but that is the only thing I can identify, and that is not worth paying £200k for!

Think carefully OP.

Also, I have realised we would find it really hard to give up holidays, and we like the odd meal out. The scrimping and saving required for DDs to attend private would not be worth it for us. We are obviously not poor at all, on the contrary, our income levels are high, and we are lucky - paying private fees just made us feel poor, which feels wrong.

We sacrificed greatly to provide private education then Uni for our children, (2 boys x 20 years each). We wanted the best for them and felt we had achieved it (wonderful schools) but now the son who has children is saying doing the same for his girls is out of the question as they can't afford it. Compared to us they are wealthy but choose to spend their money on a very expensive lifestyle.
School fees always go up so don't budget assuming £12,000 a year. There are loads of other expenses too, including school trips, sports equipment, uniforms, books, computer equipment etc.........and the drive to school you are contemplating is excessive. What happens if your husband is away or ill, there is bad weather or traffic jams? Do you want your loved ones to waste 8 hours a week travelling? Lots of the activities are after school and at weekends. Coming home times can be quite random depending on which teams/clubs your child is in.
The problem is the catchment area you live in. My advice is move away as soon as possible. If you still want private education (and I would make the sacrifice) move closer to the independent school of your choice or the catchment area for a good government school. Good luck.

Private education is a very expensive luxury. I have 3 in it and we earn a good income otherwise it would not be affordable.

Fees also go up a lot in my experience.

I do think that if you can move to an area with good schools, that will save you money in the long run OP.

This is what we did. We could afford to pay one set of school fees but we have three children. We moved from one end of the country to the other when my eldest was a year off starting school and actively chose a house within the catchment of some of the best state schools in Scotland. House was a lot more expensive than living in other parts of the city but it was definitely worth it.

We moved to a nice area in a nice city, in the catchment of an excellent girls only state school (have two girls).. We wanted to move there anyway so no sacrifice.

Dh and I both went to state schools though and both felt we couldn't have done better academically (Dh Cambridge now lawyer me red brick also lawyer) so for us the huge outlay for fees felt unjustifiable.

My income is about half yours but I get a discount for working at the school.

I have 2 DC in independent school. They started their education in state primary school and we started saving. They moved in Yrs 6&4 and are now in the senior school and doing well. Our household income is probably double yours and it has still been a struggle financially especially when the fees go up and all the extras like uniform, sports kit, music lessons etc. We have a small mortgagee and cheap UK holidays which helps. Make sure you have enough in savings to cover a years fees just in case something happens to your/DH job.

As others have said the commute sounds a bit too long. Independent schools tend to have longer core hours anyway and there are often after school activities going on. You also need to factor in childcare for the longer school holidays.

If you are even contemplating independent school at this stage then I would start saving now and have a 'school fee' account into which you transfer each month the likely cost of the fees. This way you can see whether it is affordable for you or not before setting you heart on it.

You could start saving now. We will be doing that - it will be £ks once our youngest DC is out of childcare and we pay off the mortgage.

When DS started the fees were about £9k at age 8. By the time he was age 18 they were about £18k. I'd allow an extra £2k per annum for extras and just factor it in as part of the overall cost.

My honest response - on £60,000 you probably take home a shade over £3,500 pcm. With £1000 for fees that leaves about £2,500. If you can pay all your bills, food, replace clothes, maintain your home, have the odd holiday, run your car out of that you might just scrape by. Realistically, I don't think you can afford it - have you mapped it out on a spreadsheet.

I'd also add that I don't think it would be fair to make the commitment if the overall cost is coming out of earned income - what if that earned income disappears? It's very hard to switch private to state - much harder than vice versa.

Why don't you compromise now and move to an area with really good primaries - near that grammar school you mentioned perhaps. You could start a dd fund by putting, say £500 pcm into a ring fenced account then if all goes well you have a cushion for when she's older and for when it becomes far more important.

Fees for our last year with them both in London schools were just shy of £40,000 per year, including extras. We didn't contemplate moving our eldest from state primary until we had enough in the bank to cover four years' fees and the knowledge that we could sell the house and buy one ten miles out freeing up enough equity to cover fees for two children if our income ever went tits up.

It is expensive. Very expensive. If you have a good, local school in the next village, move there.

We have two in independent schools, if there had been any other option, we would have taken it, but we don't go to church, so our local school is closed to us.

Our income is slightly more than yours and we did opt to go the private route with DS for the first few years. £9k a year was just about affordable on top of rent & bills when it was broken into monthly payments.

What ended it for us was having to also pay for after school club, because I took work outside of the house about halfway through DS's reception year, and from then on it became more of a struggle. Looking back I think I would have been better off staying a freelancer and forgoing the rest of the income so I could stay at home.

We wound up moving DS to a 'good' rated school this year to save money (and landed on our feet with an excellent teacher) and he's done really well, which I attribute to the great foundation the private school gave him -- but still, looking back I wish I'd found another way to keep him going to the private school. So if you think you can at all afford it, I'd definitely tell you to try it.

Watching with interest as we are in a similar position.

DS is only 1 and on the waiting list of an amazing prep school very near us. I was privately educated (overseas), DH state, and we have both done well in our careers but it was always assumed that any DC would go to private schools.

We are realising more and more, however, that the fees are just horrendous. We have a household income of over £130k (though we are in London) but would have to really watch our pennies to be able to afford it (and that's assuming the additional costs eg trips, music lessons, sport etc don't spiral out of control, and assuming our salaries increase enough to take into account the inevitable fee increases).

We are also thinking at some stage a DC2 might be nice and there's no way we could afford two lots of private school fees. It does feel slightly ridiculous to me to think we would potentially have to give up having a second DC just to afford private school for DS!

We are lucky to have just bought in a good school area with a lovely state school down the road which has a good (with some outstanding elements) Ofsted rating. We are realising more and more that it is probably going to suit us as a family much better to send DS there and then be in a position to afford extra curriculars, tuition if needed, holidays, day trips, a nanny for wraparound care, potentially a sibling, and for him to have far less stressed parents!

There is still a part of me that feels very sad he might not go to the lovely prep, though, and I do still wonder if we would be making the right decision by giving it up.

Luckily there are some fabulous non-selective state high schools in the area which we would definitely be looking at for him - not sure if that makes private primary more or less important/relevant...!

We both earn six figure salaries, that's how we afford it. Having said that, we also only have one child.

Also, we started saving when DD was six months old so we had built up quite a bit for the fees before she even started.

We have joint income about 20% less than yours, run one car, mortgage of 700 pcm and similar fee level and we manage it; for one DC. Just do it - you can't delay education, just take a leap of faith!

I regularly go into state schools with up to 40 pupils in a class. All at key stage 2 though as there are limits at key stage 1.

You are right to be planning ahead like this. We put our DS's name down for the local private school before he was born. Where we are unless you live within 0.5 miles of the good and outstanding schools you have no chance. I suspect that nice village school with 15 to a class will be similar.