To ask how you afford private school fees

[Elephantslovetofly]

We have a young DD, and although it's a while away yet we are thinking about school. The area we live in does not have a good local school, and we are considering an independent school for her

Disclaimer - I went to a private school and for what it's worth had a great education. I enjoyed being there and did well in exams. I believe my parents decided to send me there also because of a lack of a good local state school. I might have done fine at a state school, but will never know I guess

We are probably 45 min drive from the school I went to - further than is ideal. DH doesn't mind driving her there if we decide to send her there though (if she is fortunate enough to get a place)

The issue is whether we can afford it. The fees are about £9k per year for junior and £12k for senior. Assuming we therefore need to find £1k per month for fees

My cheeky question is this - if you have a child at private school, what does your household earn and how difficult is it to find the money each month to pay the fees? Our income is about £60k, and at the moment I don't think we can do it (along with our other current expenses). Wages might go up a bit before we would need to start paying, but if this is always going to be a pipe dream i'd rather get over it now

I know we could move closer to a good state school, but am exploring my options at this stage. Don't really want to move, as we have a good house here and are settled

Thanks for reading

"I think the state 6th form is to avoid the govt's requirement that universities give preference to state educated applicants over privately educated ones. Just a guess."
Ah yes, that old myth.

2cats - a good maths tutor might sort that all out.

Xenia doesn't give a shit about being outed, and in any case I doubt it's her.

We are planning to do it with 2 with combined income of £90k but have no mortgage. Even so I expect our lives to be to some degree compromised at secondary level, though we aren't at primary.

The thing that made me think Xenia was 'I, the lawyer'

One other thing to note about private school is that, while they have small class sizes, you are not always guaranteed qualified teachers. They only have to have a degree in their subject to teach in private schools. I had a science teacher in secondary private who was clearly highly intelligent and expert in his field but had zero classroom management skills, or ability to pass on information to others in an interesting way. It seems extraordinary to me that people pay to have their kids taught by non-teachers, while you can get them taught by a qualified teacher for free.. Certainly a question I would be asking any private school I considered (if i could afford it)

That's true. In one of my children's old prep schools a teacher was got rid of quietly because she pulled a child's hair. Can you even imagine what would have happened if that took place in a state school?!

Is your family income likely to go up by at least 5% a year? As mentioned above by another poster, private school fees can easily go up by at least that much each September. I don't know how old your DD is, but at a 5% annual increase, in three years' time junior school's fees of £9k will be more like £10.5k a year and the current senior school fees may go up to £14k. I would try to find out from the school how their current fees compare to what they were a few years ago so that you have some idea of what to expect by the time your DD will be starting school.

Manon, thanks but I don't think so. She has been doing extra maths with my dad who is ex-head and maths teacher but she's still miles off the standard of the test I suspect. I don't believe it's down to the school though, just her personality.

shewho I totally agree, my friend's boy had the same problem with the small class thing, only 6 boys in class, all obsessed with football except him = no friends, and basically being isolated for years. It's easier to find a friend among a class of 30 (NOT 40 as many have said).

You don't have to be a teacher to get a fee reduction. Keep an eye on your chose school's website jobs board. If you work enough hours you should qualify. They treat support staff pretty well generally...well GSA schools do anyway. Also pretty much all independent schools have a bursary fund which goes to those who pass the entrance exam but whose families can't afford the fees. APPLY! So many people would be eligible but don't know about it. You will qualify normally with a household income of less than £55,000...but that probably varies from region to region so you might get lucky. Good luck. You sound like the sort of parent any school would be lucky to have on board!

Both of mine went private. However they did state primary and we took the decision if they weren't able to pass the entrance exam at 11 they wouldn't benefit from the private education. For those primary years we saved like mad and lived as frugally as when they got into fee paying. Consequently we had one cheap last minute foreign holiday in 20 years, ran one old car, both worked and never really had a social life. Was it worth it?
My DD went to good Uni and then along with many graduates got a minimum wage job. She did however benefit from many opportunities and is undoubtedly a more confident and well rounded young woman. My DS took a gap year and then decided he didn't want to go to Uni to just end up with a debt and so so job like his Sister, and instead went straight into employment (he earns a bit more than his Sister without a degree now). On balance he too has benefited from the experience and opportunities and I would do it again.
However it is no guarantee of good results or jobs so don't do it just for that.... Some of DD's friends struggled to fit in at Uni as they were a bit posh and detached so it can be an issue later if they don't stay grounded.

Hi
My husband and I have both been where you are. We originally lived in NW london where the state schools were no longer producing well educated and children if they had the potential. Class sizes were ridiculous of 35+. There were sone renowned I dependant schools but the fees were astronomical. For our child to fit in would have meant fees, uniforms and paying for the extras. We just couldn't afford it. We moved to Sussex where there is a bounty of independent schools and the fees were far more reasonable and houses and therefore mitigates were far less than our property in London. Between my husband and I, our joint salary was about £70k and hasn't changed much in 10 years. The money we gained from the sale of our house has provided a cushion to our lives. We managed to get our DC through school and don't regret the sacrifices we made in our lifestyle. Our DC we discovered has poor memory processing and needed more time and 1-1 tutoring. DC got that in private schools where class sizes are never more than 10-12. DC is now doing GCSEs and we know that would not have been the outcome in the state schools where we lived and the state schools where we live now. DC would have been one of the kids that were excluded and ignored and treated as one of the "stupid" kids. Every child deserves to reach their full potential and I feel parents should do whatever it takes to give their children a chance to succeed. But it must not be at the cost of a happy home life. And I've seen other parents relationships break because if the financial pressure. No child does well when they are emotionally troubled.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Where do you live? I mean which county? I have a friend who has 3 at private school - all on full scholarships - she worked really hard to get them up to scratch and above in English maths and music - but it had huge payoff!
It's nonsencd that you need to be academically gifted to get in a good private school - just average is fine so long as you work really really hard from at least year 3.

I think it's very difficult on less than a 6-figure salary.

But you should think about:

1. Start saving now
2. Maybe just do secondary and go state for primary
3. Hope your child is bright enough to get a scholarship or bursary - and look to develop their extra-curricular activities, because schools are impressed by, say, sporting or musical ability and more likely to offer awards to those kids.

My son attends a state school and it's fantastic. It's all boys and the largest class size is 24. He gets to do all sorts of extra curricular activities from sailing to steel drums and as its a school with a huge sailing history the boys uniform is ridiculously smart, they have an inspection parade every morning and hair styles are very much short back and sides. The Ofsted reports are excellent and he is really doing well there. We couldn't afford a private education if we tried (joint salary of £25000) but are more than happy with this choice of school and how much ds is flourishing. Don't skint yourselves without checking out all the available options first there are some crap state schools out there but there are also some fantastic ones too.

I also forgot to say, I have friends where their kids went to state schools till year 7/8 then I dependant school. That seems to be a really good way of getting well socialised children and saving your money for the years that matter in education. You can always get additional tutoring for your DC in the meantime. Mine did Kumon which provided additional maths and English. I don't know if Kumon still exists.

We have just made the decision to put DS in private after his reception year. This is two-fold: (1) our nanny fees as our state school doesn't do before or after school care are comparable to the private school tuition and (2) as a mid-level performer and never a problem DS was lost at school and never progressed after he clearly would achieve the "requirements " of the year at Christmas. So into private school he goes. But yes, we both work full time in very good jobs and would be spending the money anyway one way or another. If we weren't spending £14k on a nanny this year it would be a tougher decision

We moved to a village that had an outstanding primary school so that both our children could attend. Yes house prices were more than other local areas but cheaper in the long run. I think we will consider private education for secondary school but at the moment are really happy. Both myself and husband went to private secondary schools after attending primary state schools. It gives us time to save!

The other thing to consider is that studies have shown that the parents' input and background which has more of an impact on the child than the school itself.
So a child from a home where the parents encourage academic work and provide a stimulating environment will do better at a state school than one whose parents don't.
Wish i could remember where I read that.

As someone who went to private school from age 4 and who has two children at private school, I know very little about state schools. However, I know that our joint income is much more than yours and even though we are in London, it is still hard to afford anything above the fees! We drive an old car, the house rarely gets stuff done to it (some of it is in dire need!) and we don't really do holidays. However, we don't actually struggle, but just don't have the bank balances some seem to have.

I think it would be hard on the salary you mention. But I think someone's idea above of putting the money away from now to see how you manage is a great one.

I have my son at private school... kinda wish I had sent him to the local comp right now as I got cancer last year and it is now going to be really hard to earn what I used to earn (which would have paid for it if I watched my pennies), but it is a huge long term investment. Scares me now! Wish I'd sent him to local comp (which is huge but good)
His school is amazing, don't get me wrong, but there are pros to a good local comp.

It is a lot to have to find month in month out. It is a huge weight.
£960 per mth over 10 months plus approx £173 per mth on top for extras (food/day trips/school bits and bobs)
Plus maybe one school trip (£700-£1500)
And uniform

You have to think of it in terms of pre tax income... my costs are approx £12K post tax, which works out to around £18K pre tax off my top line.

Do your budgets brutally.

Some schools do scholarships and bursary assistance if you are struggling.
When I got cancer last year the school were brilliant
I am self employed single mum, ex does not contribute very often (and when he does it is buttons)
I had to continue to work through treatment but my income took a beating... the school had a bursary program that contributed towards his fees to enable me to keep him there.....( but he is also a straight A student, so I suspect that helped his case...?)

I'd be tempted to advise you to move to an area with better schools... but check waiting lists etc before you move! Our local comp was grossly over subscribed, long wait list!

Good luck. I totally understand the wrangle you are having.

Oh yes, some of the teachers are utterly Uninspiring at my son's private school! That really surprised me as I thought they would attract better quality teachers.

My son used to love History but is losing interest rapidly as his teacher sounds useless (reads from a book or PowerPoint the whole time, just not engaging the kids!)

I have not been that impressed with the teaching standards.
(Should have a 'check a trade' website for schools and teachers before you send kids there... Ousted reports don't identify boring teachers)

We are well off with a fairly low mortgage. Yet there is no way we could afford to send our two DC to private school in UK unless we used the money we allocate to our savings and pension pots. We probably could if I went back to my former career although my salary wouldn't cover both sets of fees/additional expenses.

We live in France and our eldest goes to a private school but they are much more affordable here and don't have the same 'cachet' as they do in the UK. It costs about 600€ a term but you can add 200-300€ a term for lunches (not cheap here!!) and an extra 200-500€ a year for extras.

More great stories and experiences, thank you all so much for contributing. I am overwhelmed by the response

I have been googling and there are quite a few primaries near us (within 3 miles) but all apart from the one I hear bad things about are oversubscribed! I've also found a private school that is much closer, but it's more expensive

I live in Nottinghamshire for the person that asked