To ask how you afford private school fees

[Elephantslovetofly]

We have a young DD, and although it's a while away yet we are thinking about school. The area we live in does not have a good local school, and we are considering an independent school for her

Disclaimer - I went to a private school and for what it's worth had a great education. I enjoyed being there and did well in exams. I believe my parents decided to send me there also because of a lack of a good local state school. I might have done fine at a state school, but will never know I guess

We are probably 45 min drive from the school I went to - further than is ideal. DH doesn't mind driving her there if we decide to send her there though (if she is fortunate enough to get a place)

The issue is whether we can afford it. The fees are about £9k per year for junior and £12k for senior. Assuming we therefore need to find £1k per month for fees

My cheeky question is this - if you have a child at private school, what does your household earn and how difficult is it to find the money each month to pay the fees? Our income is about £60k, and at the moment I don't think we can do it (along with our other current expenses). Wages might go up a bit before we would need to start paying, but if this is always going to be a pipe dream i'd rather get over it now

I know we could move closer to a good state school, but am exploring my options at this stage. Don't really want to move, as we have a good house here and are settled

Thanks for reading

We re-mortgaged the house every few years, went without holidays , drove an old banger with about 200k miles on the clock, didn't eat out ( much ) and were much happier for it - as were both our boys whom we sent to private school. I 'm a tutor so I knew what the standard of education might be had we opted for state schools ! I also make a living from having to tutor children who went to state school and received a pretty shoddy education. I also teach a t a local state school and marvel when I see the parents turning up in very very very expensive cars having just got back from a fortnight's skiing and are already planning their Easter break to the Maldives. They're usually the first to complain about ' how the other half lives' and yet their handbags alone could put a child through school for a year. I refuse to apologise for having chosen private although from the way we're sometimes treated when people know we educated our children privately , we've often felt as if we had to keep it a secret or make excuses. Now I'm older and wiser I know for sure we did the right thing. Both my husband and I worked bl*y hard for years , I made sure I had a job that meant I'd be home when the boys came home and had the school holidays off so we didn't have to get any child care. I had a highly paid exec position previously but chose to re-train as a Special Needs teacher as both my boys were very dyslexic and I wanted them to benefit form the best education they could have . No regrets. Good luck.

You'd do that, presumably, because you think your child would get good GCSEs as a result.

Hi
Both our children go to private school and it is huge financial commitment. Think about the extras that you will have to spend as well as the fees. Uniform £500, kit etc. Also would you be able to afford the school trips that the other children will go on? Whilst private education offers a huge range of opportunities, there are still some great state schools available. Why don't you move to the catchment area of an outstanding school and spend the school fees on a larger mortgage. At least you'll have a property in a desirable area to show at the end of it.

My DD went to private school for junior and secondary. We were lucky to find a really small school for juniors that was around £5000 a year (back in 2004). At this time the household income was £19,000 and the school cost as much as the mortgage. We then moved for a better state secondary but it didn't work out, so back to private. Found a lovely non-selective school that was everything to everyone. This time it cost £12,000 a year and the household income was £40,000. Again, the school cost as much as the new mortgage payments.

Yes, it was a struggle. No major holidays and I became the queen of budgeting, but it was a sacrifice well worth it and I'd do it again without a second thought.

It's part of our expat package through my husband's job. Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to afford it (ours are about £20k/year x 2 children).

Is definitely more about overheads than actual annual income. We have 2 boys in private school, but we afford it by basically cutting out luxuries like car, eating out, nice clothes, and we've gone without foreign holidays most years - basically everything we were splashing money around on before we had kids!!

DD didn't go on any flash trips at her independent secondary school. They went to Paris for a few days after GCSEs, and I think that was it.

I have only one child on the way and we will be paying £1,100 a month for a private school which includes the after school lessons. Our salaries are £80k joint total per year in London and we anticipate it to rise to £90k joint total by the time baby goes to school. We are having only one child, so it makes it easier and we have about four to five holidays a year, but we live very frugally. I'm not a big shopper, our clothes are always on sale, I budget us with meals during the week etc too. You can do anything with a budget but just prioritise what's important. Again, we are in London, so that's an average wage here.

No state school my children have been to (we've moved around a bit with OH's job) has ever had classes of 40+. My children have gone to local, very average (in ofsted terms) schools becAuse they happened to be the closest to where we live. I think that sense of community is tremendously good for a child - they grow up with their schoolfriends, and when they go to university everyone comes 'home' to the same pubs and things (and more importantly that community keeps a beady eye on your child!). I'd hate to have bussed my two dozens of
Miles away. Remember friends could be dozens of miles away In the other direction! Play dates and later social get together are really important to teenagers.
Remember too that drugs and poor behaviour can be just as prevalent in a fee paying setting - indeed more so because there's more money sloshing around!
I'm not dissing you for considering private but asking you to think carefully. I suspect you'd have rejected my childrens' school , but you know what? DS thrived and is at Cambridge and DD is about to go to Durham. And we saved lots of money! And it's really nice to tho k that we didn't take high achievers out of the local school, therefore dragging it's results down even further.
Please think carefully, and have confidence in your child. Mine love that we did, and just let them get on with it. Good luck

Would be cheaper if your husband does a pgce and becomes a teacher and then home schools your daughter. Gawd im clever!

My DD is starting private school (Juniors) in September. My husband and I both have good jobs and work full time. You said your DC is still young, if you don't want to move house to a better catchment area, why not use the time between now and when DC starts Junior school to save up some of the money? We're very luckily and earn good money (a joint income of nearly double what you said), but we've opened up another online account and have been squirreling away our DD schools fees should one of us lose our jobs. At least we know we can afford to keep sending her for a year or two until we can get ourselves back on track.

Hello, teacher and parent perspective here, I teach in a state primary but have taught in the independent sector and went to independent school in difficult area 11-18 on the Assisted places Scheme (means tested bursary) which not longer exists. I teach in Foundation and really believe in play based learning in the early years, so would really look at that whatever sector you decide. It works! And children are engaged, and don't get switched off by too formal learning too early! My own 3 boys YR/Y1 and Y4 go to the local primary, and we are happy with it, especially as it means I can work less and have more time for them. The most important thing you can do for them is talk about learning (anything, everything). Money doesn't mean value so look carefully at options. Very wise to think of whole process rather than just a few years, but I think age 9 or 11 would be fine to morphs to private sector. Also, have a look at undersubscribed village schools, perhaps a drive from home, could be a good compromise.

Or whizzy then teaches at a private school (my son paid 15% of fees from age 4 - 13 as his father taught in the school). We knew one couple both teachers one at a prep and one at a local boarding who had school accommodation for the family and sent the 3 chidlren first to the prep virtually free and then to the boarding school again virtually free - quite a big perk along with your free housing at the school too.

Not sure about all these private school trips though! My children have hardly ever chosen to go on any. they've had all kinds of chances and wonderful trips I could easily afford but they never wanted to go on most of them. One went on a rugby tour in Italy in his prep school and he said it was "theft of his half term". So I would not worry about paying for school trips.

Well because we have a good income between us.

If we weren't in that position, we would have relocated to be near good grammar schools.

DD goes private because we want her to and can afford to.

The local school is ok but very large and we prefer her small school where everybody knows everybody else & there is a lovely family atmosphere.

In order to afford it I went back to work part time. This way we can still afford good holidays and a nice standard of living.

It really is nobody else's business. We've had snide comments from people, mainly of the "is state school not good enough for you then?" type. The honest answer is "yes, state school is good enough, but private school is much better".

Would be cheaper if your husband does a pgce and becomes a teacher and then home schools your daughter. Gawd im clever!

That's a joke right? Take 13+ years off work to save on school fees? And why on earth would you do a PGCE to home educate?

fwiw DC was in a class of 42 in state primary and classes of 16 - 22 in prep school. It was a good state primary too, the other dozen I could have sent to didn't even own a piano.

I was entitled to free school meals and went to a private prep school and a direct grant grammar school.

sharsti I may have earned a great deal, but have never been paid more than £24k a year for a full-time job.

However, the school I went to was a GDST (then GPDST) school and the maximum fees were £40 a term when I was in the UIII with reductions for siblings. Due to the disappearance of the direct grant system fees are a lot higher, but think, even in London, are around £14k a year for secondary. Most of the schools have junior departments.

At my GPDST school there were second-hand uniform sales and only 1 person in my year had all new bought uniform - skirts and tunics were often made at home, as were jumpers, but not all do this now.

On DH's insistence (state educated) , DD started out a a private primary, although not a prep school, as the local primaries had appalling ofsted reports. In the years between putting her name down and her starting, the town where she lived had attracted a lot of new money, and it became the haven for spoilt brats. Due to bullying - from 1 parent who gave a toy BMW as a raffle prize - she became a school refuser, and we had no choice but to move her.

Some 13 years ago, a blazer for a 5 year old cost £60, and a summer dress the same amount.

It's my opinion that support from parents is much more value than private education, but then as my late dm was a narc paedophile, I'm rather biased.

I've reported that- outing is not on.

I do think that if you can possibly afford private/public school for primary then it's well worth it. You start your child off with a very good grounding in the basics, which will stand her well for the rest of her life. Senior is less important, imo, as once the basics are there and she can do well anywhere after that.

This is not state school teachers' fault, it's the constant pissing about by various govs that messes children's start.

I have one DC at boarding, one DC at state secondary school. The one at boarding had a difficult time in primary and has thrived at a fee paying school. My income was half yours and I afforded it. Don't worry about extras, uniform lasts a good while and there's always the nearly new shop but it's no different whatever school they're at they'll need uniform. You don't have to pay for all the trips as there's greater choice I've found in a fee paying school. There is funding available from charities, you just have to get busy finding it and applying. I would recommend a fee paying school. Both would go if I could afford it. Buy a caravan - we had a week's holiday for less than £100. We all had loads of fun.

I just know there's no way we could afford it. But for those who talk about grammar schools, it's not necessarily a back up plan to rely on as you don't know how your child will do and whether they are likely to pass 11+ or not. I say this from the point of view of DD1 having always seemed (and is) very bright from a young age, early talker, reader, etc, and in Reception/Year 1 was top of the class for everything, however it has emerged as she's got older she has a bit of a phobia for maths and we are now at the point (aged 9.5) that we are concluding she probably won't go in for the 11plus as she'll never pass the maths. People who have known her for years still assume she is obviously going to do it and pass, as she is widely viewed as "very bright".

Having said all that, prep schools in grammar areas exist with the sole purpose of getting kids through their 11+. But bear in mind that for a child who is going to scrape into grammar, this could make their secondary school time miserable if they are always at the bottom of the pile.

*"Economise with state primary or up to year 9 then couple of years Private then sixth form college"

Why on earth would you do that?*

I think the state 6th form is to avoid the govt's requirement that universities give preference to state educated applicants over privately educated ones. Just a guess.