To ask how you afford private school fees

[Elephantslovetofly]

We have a young DD, and although it's a while away yet we are thinking about school. The area we live in does not have a good local school, and we are considering an independent school for her

Disclaimer - I went to a private school and for what it's worth had a great education. I enjoyed being there and did well in exams. I believe my parents decided to send me there also because of a lack of a good local state school. I might have done fine at a state school, but will never know I guess

We are probably 45 min drive from the school I went to - further than is ideal. DH doesn't mind driving her there if we decide to send her there though (if she is fortunate enough to get a place)

The issue is whether we can afford it. The fees are about £9k per year for junior and £12k for senior. Assuming we therefore need to find £1k per month for fees

My cheeky question is this - if you have a child at private school, what does your household earn and how difficult is it to find the money each month to pay the fees? Our income is about £60k, and at the moment I don't think we can do it (along with our other current expenses). Wages might go up a bit before we would need to start paying, but if this is always going to be a pipe dream i'd rather get over it now

I know we could move closer to a good state school, but am exploring my options at this stage. Don't really want to move, as we have a good house here and are settled

Thanks for reading

I am a single parent and only bread-winner on an average to low income. I only have one child and the fees are fairly crippling but not impossible. I live in a tiny house in a fairly grotty area (so we have to spend quite a lot of time traveling.) we do not go on any holidays beyond camping in basic fields in uk and I drive a tiny, old car. I suppose it's all down to what you value. To me a good education is worth any amount of sacrifice. It meant I had to make sure that dd felt no embarrassment about our standard of living. Thankfully she didn't. I'm not sure the education was so much better, but the confidence and self-assuredness in combination with the education has certainly paid off in the choices she's had and the opportunities she encounters.

To go back to the OP, I would say not doable on 60k and 45 m in each way commute too far.

I'm another poster who would say skiing holidays, fancy cars etc are not always the norm in private school. It's a bit of a myth that all private school families do this. It very much depends on the school- I have no doubt that if you are think Eton or Harrow or Marlborough or something like that, then absolutely those sorts of things and more. At DDs school there are some families who are very much like this, others are not at all.

This summer we are off to a rural cottage where we can take our puppy (although he'll be 8 months old then). We have gone skiing in the past and probably will again, but not every year. When we do go abroad it's not 5* resorts, we usually rent a villa somewhere. I have a nice car, but it's not a range rover or a porsche. Most parents at DD's school are similar, with some exceptions- most are professionals, business people or farmers.

As I said in my 1st post- you need to factor in extras (school trips, uniform and equipment and extra-curricular activities) in addition to the school fees. DDs school provide wrap-around childcare including late prep (help with homework) as part of the fees, and the fees also include lunch. Everything else is extra. A 45 minute school run is something that would have me thinking- but then I do a 30 minute one as we live reasonably rurally.

Why don't you believe what people say, by the way?

New is correct. A lot of the time talk is cheap. People spout off about equality for all. Some people want a 9-5 role. No hassle. Or part time (just like my DS). To afford school fees unless you have an inheritance or GP's paying the fees it will be down to you.

Look at Diane Abbot or most of the Labour PM's over the years. All their kids went to private schools whilst they claimed to be socialists.

I am coming to the end of years of private education for my children. I went to a bog standard school. Very average. Wouldn't want that for my sons. So worked hard, had some luck and made good decisions.

Was it worth it??

ABSOLUTELY!

some of the better teachers seem to be defecting from the private sector around here,
That's interesting. What do you think is driving that? I had heard the opposite here - state teachers trying to leave over education policy changes etc - but only anecdotally.

We sent our DD to the nursery and Y1 of a local private school ( initially because there weren't places at other nurseries and I had the chance of a new job after maternity leave ) but actually found the size of classes a problem, only 7 girls in my DDs class and very cliquey. Luckily a space came up at a local village school at the beginning of Y2 and we moved her across. It was 210 in whole school which was good preparation for her High School of 1200. Nicer children and nicer parents !
It is important to have enough money for extra curricular activities as well as the school fees at private school ( dreadful story of a son berating his parents for not spending enough on Birthday present for school friend, grandparents paying the school fees )

I have one child who we recently had to move to an independent school as she was really struggling at mainstream, she has lots of illness and misses much time, is registered disabled and has anxiety problems. We are funding as a whole family with her aunt helping as without this we just couldn't do it. Despite a large salary my partner could not cover the costs as there are all the extras to cover as well such as the uniform and trips which are much more expensive.

We live in a lovely area with really good schools but sometimes a child just doesn't 'fit' into a large school and whilst primary was excellent she doesn't cope in large environments so a small independent school was the only way forward having explored other options first.

Explore scholarships tho as several of her friends are there on such a basis and some are fully funded. We have no holidays abroad and make many sacrifices to send her there but is all worth it as she is now thriving!

Their are some good state schools with boarders. It might be an option to look at these when they are older. My daughter attends one of these but it's local.

I went to a boarding school and I have no idea how my family afforded it. You may have to just send her to best nearest 'free' school. And just because you enjoyed doesn't mean your child will as times have changed. There is a lot of peer pressure on kids and it worse at private schools. Whether it be a case of what phone you have,what your parents do or the clothes you wear.

Don't believe everything you hear from people who have never set foot in a private. They listen to gossip and snippets. My two sons have gone to a well known boarding school. The uniform you can often get 2nd hand. After seeing how it looks a week later if you buy new you will see why!

Extra's? Not really. You either go on the skiing trip or not. The boys don't really care whether you are rich or not. They just want to know you can kick around a rugby ball, hang out, maybe go for a swim. The parents are a different matter...

Looking at the opportunities they have had and the confidence of being a boarder. I was very shy and had little in the way of expectations.

I wanted more for them...

Check out the class sizes! When I was looking at schools for my DS an inheritance allowed us to consider a highly regarded independent school. I was astounded to find the class sizes bigger than the local state school. that and other factors meant that we decided on state education. We have paid for extra tuition in some subject but not paying school fees has meant that we have been able to pay for lots of extras (DS loves Shakespeare - exposing him to the plays early on has worked a treat!) - both for DS and for us to enjoy as a family. He's now 17 - a well rounded teenager who is doing well at school. I think we made the right decision.

We have 2 at private school though cheapish one without the costs of expensive uniform, trips, ski hols etc. We could afford it at first, but as time went by (DCs now 13 and 14) we remortgaged to pay for it. Also old cars, not going abroad etc. as others have said. We tried other schools and home ed when cost got scary however we are all happier with chosen school so worth it for us.

I think adding a notional 10% into the fees mentally is a good idea, to cover uniform, kit, trips and so on. There are always extras.

YY to state boarding schools, and many of them also have day pupils/home boarders (pupils who do everything but sleep at school). Many are excellent.

Is the £60k income you have after tax?

If so I must be missing something. If you sent even 2 kids that would leave at least £36K a year to live on which surely is more than enough to live very comfortably.

I must be missing something. Tax perhaps.

YY also to second hand everything, nobody cares at independent schools, lots of the better off families have three or four away at school and nobody can afford new kit for everyone all the time. They lose and wreck it anyway.

Why do people always talk about ski trips. Over the years there has been the occasional one but DS1 only went on one. Didn't make a bit of difference to his overall experience. There was talk about a trip to Africa for Economics but it ended up being too tricky to organise and then suddenly he was off to university!

45 minutes is way too long. 20 minutes would be the max I think.

Financially in a good private school you can offset an extra 4 to 6.5 hours a day of included childcare that doesn't need arranged, paid for or taxied to. If you both commute this is invaluable. During this time your kids may be doing activities that you would normally have to pay for and taxi to, eg swimming. From about y3 include fencing, climbing, martial arts, kayaking, drama, chess and far more.

Food is included.

It depends what you want, and how your careers/jobs are likely to pan out, not just financially but timewise.

I would look for a more local option though.

Ds starts in september, we have spoken to the school (my brothers went there when they were younger) and we've managed to get some money off!! It might be worth talking to the school and see if theres something they can do! Espechially if you used to go there! I know some schools do offer an 'old pupil' % off!!!!! Xxx

Boffin is right. No one really cares about your clothes!

Economise with state primary or up to year 9 then couple of years Private then sixth form college.We planned to send ours to State till 11 then private but in reality hard to switch one was in need of small classes another super bright in top 1% and then boy slow to read! In the end first two did state till 7 with eldest going to 6th form college, then last one private all way through as I was back at work.

Our rough plan for the baby DS (!) is that we have just bought into a desirable leafy village home to a longstanding state outstanding chain of schools - where we wish to keep him and any sibling till about year 9 ish and then do the 13 plus entrance tests and the local independents to finish off with private.

I went to a state senior school. Went on to attend a Russell group Uni etc. However I was brought up in a very affluent town in Hertfordshire. The cost of a house to get in the catchment area of my old school is unbelievable. Due to the location of my husbands company we live in Southampton with massive senior schools taking in from wide areas. We live in a lovely area of the city with a great primary school. We had to choose between buying a house in Winchester or spending the additional extra money on my their education.

"Economise with state primary or up to year 9 then couple of years Private then sixth form college"

Why on earth would you do that?

Are you sure your local school isn't good enough?! Our primary school had a reputation that was many years out of date, my eldest started there 8 years ago to raised eyebrows from our friends. It is now very difficult to get in- children do brilliantly there and received a well-rounded education.
He has now started at our local secondary school- we heard several bad stories but checked it out for ourselves. Many children achieved over 10 A* at GCSE last year and those who are less conventionally academic are encouraged to pursue avenues more appropriate to their talents- all are treated with kindness and respect.
It's about the spectrum a school achieves and its ethos not about league tables. Get involved!