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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that if you live with an adult with asthma...

58 replies

MummySparkle · 28/05/2016 22:37

...They should be responsible for ensuring they have an inhaler with them / know where their inhalers are / bring one upstairs to bed with them?

I am fed up of being DPs inhaler-minder. I am more than happy to order & collect a repeat prescription for him whenever necessary. I am fed up of being about to get into bed and DP saying 'do you know where an inhaler is?' Or 'can you find me an inhaler' Or 'I left my inhaler downstairs, can you get it please?' If I don't get one then he says 'oh I won't bother, I'll be alright' but I know he usually wakes up in the night needing one.

Tonight's was 'can you do me a favour please? There aren't any working inhalers in the house, but I think there is one in my car, can you get it?' Now he does have broken ribs at the moment (but this has gone on long before the ribs) So it's painful for him to rummage about in his car. But why wait to ask me until I was undressed and in bed? Drives me mad!!!

Does anyone else live with a rubbish asthmatic?

OP posts:

newnamejustfornow · 28/05/2016 22:45

I'm an asthmatic and I manage it myself, I have to as you can die from it!!

If he is having to use his blue inhaler regularly he really needs a review as he may need a preventer too and you need to step back and make him manage it himself. What would happen if he had an attack when you weren't there to find an inhaler?

stealthsquiggle · 28/05/2016 22:48

DH wouldn't know where to start if I asked him to find an inhaler.

Has he always needed a reliever that often? Sounds like his asthma is not well controlled TBH.

ladygracie · 28/05/2016 22:48

I agree with newname - if he needs his inhaler every night then he really needs a review. But also he should know where it is always. Not you, him.

Arfarfanarf · 28/05/2016 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJoeyMaynard · 28/05/2016 22:50

Doesn't he worry about what might happen if he needed his inhaler and you were out?

lalalalyra · 28/05/2016 22:54

Has his asthma been worse since he had the rib injury? When I broke my ribs I ended up with a chest infection. Apparently (according to practise nurse) it's relatively common. I'm asthmatic as well.

As for the inhaler thing YNBU - he's an adult, even my 13yo takes charge of her own inhaler.

IHaveBrilloHair · 28/05/2016 22:55

He really, really, really needs to get his asthma under control.
I say this as a brittle asthmatic who didn't, and just recently had a non too fun 16 night stay in hospital

Tigger365 · 28/05/2016 22:57

I tend to forget my steroid inhaler but, I have a blue one everywhere possible, upstairs, downstairs, both handbags and I need to replace the one in the car... Thanks for the reminder :-)
Your DH is being irresponsible

kerryob · 28/05/2016 22:57

He needs to take responsibility for his asthma, ditto what everyone said if he is taking the blue frequently he needs a review. Tell Dp he needs to have it with him always, don't run around after him make him learn he has to know where it is. The only time you should be handing it to him is if he has an attack!

I always have inhalers in my bag & by my bed, Dh knows where they are for an emergency but its my asthma, my lungs & my responsibility. Does you dp do this with other items?

BarryTheKestrel · 28/05/2016 22:59

My DH is the same. Every bloody day "any ideas where my inhaler is?" Grrrr!
However, even after multiple reviews and a preventor he still needs his blue inhaler regularly, they can't get his under control for some reason, so inhaler minder I must be to make sure he doesn't bloody die on me!

SoThatHappened · 28/05/2016 23:00

He is taking responsibility for his asthma though.

From what you have posted, he knows where they are. he even knew there werent any in the house that worked ad there was one in the car tht was useable. The issue is he wont get his ass out of bed to go and retrieve it which is just lazy IMO rather than not being responsible with his meds.

When his ribs are healed the next time he says my inhaler is in the car, can you get it, say no and get in bed.

ladygracie · 28/05/2016 23:03

Barry - get him to go for another review to check he's actually taking it correctly. I found out last week that I've been doing it wrong for 20 years. And my daughter has been doing hers wrong for years too. So it might be worth checking out.

Original poster

MummySparkle · 28/05/2016 23:03

He doesn't need a new one every night, but they only ever give him 2 at a time, so he has one that he carries around with him leaves anywhere and everywhere

He can't take the purple one because the steroids in it affect his anxiety. He did have a brown one, not sure what happened to that. He was supposed to have an asthma review last week, but forgot about it. We'd spoken about it the night before!!! I'm hoping after a review we can get a few more a month so he can keep one in car, upstairs, downstairs, my car...

I think he's relatively good at finding them and keeping them with him when I'm not around. He's just lazy!! And I feel guilted into going to get one from downstairs because I don't want to be responsible for him having a massive attack. Likewise being shoved out of bed in the wee small hours is even worse.

Asthma has been marginally worse since the ribs. (Tuesday) but not a massive difference. He's only ever had a couple of big asthma attacksbsince we've been together, but is constantly using his blue inhaler

OP posts:

Stratter5 · 28/05/2016 23:06

Err, anyone who is using more than 2-3 blue inhalers a YEAR does not have well controlled asthma. He needs an urgent asthma review, and a medications tweek. He should not be waking up needing his inhaler.

Original poster

MummySparkle · 28/05/2016 23:07

He's spectacularly useless at looking for things / finding things. He knows there is probably one around, but I think he just CBA to look. I have been known to be searching the kitchen for an in baker and it turns out it was on the table next to the sofa but obscured by the arm of the sofa

OP posts:

Original poster

MummySparkle · 28/05/2016 23:09

He probably gets through 1 a fortnight starter. I've been telling him to book another review but he's not done it yet. Likewise he still won't see a doctor about his ribs.

OP posts:

Essexgirlupnorth · 28/05/2016 23:11

My husband is asthmatic and deals with it all himself. Sometimes I find an inhaler about the house and give it back t him but he never asks me to find them for him.

SoThatHappened · 28/05/2016 23:14

is he using his inhaler just because .........whether he needs it or not?

There are what 200 doses in a standard inhaler and he uses 1 a fortnight? That is nearly 15 times per day.

If he needs it that much he would be a brittle asthmatic on the verge of death. Just dosnt sound right.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 28/05/2016 23:20

I rarely did this for my dd and she was 7 when diagnosed!

does he manage to wipe his own arse?

Myusernameismyusername · 28/05/2016 23:23

You should not use a reliever that frequently. I use a preventer with a spacer and I only use my reliever about once every 2 weeks now. His asthma needs reviewing!

Myusernameismyusername · 28/05/2016 23:24

Problem is you store up problems, when mine is poorly controlled it only takes one cold to end up on steroids for weeks afterwards and months to get it back under control. He's being a wally!

Tigger365 · 28/05/2016 23:25

I also think there's something not quite right there...15 times a day on average is a whole lot!!
I'm still a smoker (I know) and I don't use the blue one daily

MrsJayy · 28/05/2016 23:26

Adult dd lives at home ive not had to worry about inhalers since she was 14 i got her prescriptions for her but she managed her own illness your husband is used to being looked after thats whats happening he is being a bit feeble isnt he ?

Myusernameismyusername · 28/05/2016 23:26

When I take mine I shake and jitter for hours, he must feel horrible after all that medication!

Original poster

MummySparkle · 29/05/2016 09:10

Hmm, yes he probably does use it about 15 times a day. I'm not sure if he issue it properly though. Are you supposed to hold your breath for a bit after a puff? He doesn't really do that.

I wonder whether the reliever is contributing to his anxiety?

OP posts:

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