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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if you live with an adult with asthma...

58 replies

MummySparkle · 28/05/2016 22:37

...They should be responsible for ensuring they have an inhaler with them / know where their inhalers are / bring one upstairs to bed with them?

I am fed up of being DPs inhaler-minder. I am more than happy to order & collect a repeat prescription for him whenever necessary. I am fed up of being about to get into bed and DP saying 'do you know where an inhaler is?' Or 'can you find me an inhaler' Or 'I left my inhaler downstairs, can you get it please?' If I don't get one then he says 'oh I won't bother, I'll be alright' but I know he usually wakes up in the night needing one.

Tonight's was 'can you do me a favour please? There aren't any working inhalers in the house, but I think there is one in my car, can you get it?' Now he does have broken ribs at the moment (but this has gone on long before the ribs) So it's painful for him to rummage about in his car. But why wait to ask me until I was undressed and in bed? Drives me mad!!!

Does anyone else live with a rubbish asthmatic?

OP posts:
NeedACleverNN · 29/05/2016 09:54

My dh is the same. Never knows where his inhaler is but he won't ask me to get it unless he needs it.

Original poster
MummySparkle · 29/05/2016 09:57

They're a nightmare aren't they clever?

OP posts:
NeedACleverNN · 29/05/2016 10:01

Yup. Last time he had an attack was about 2am and I was rooting through everything and couldn't find it.

Started panicking a bit because he insisted he didn't know where it was. I tried his trouser pocket AFTER he just looked and found it. But then I know when you are having an attack you don't always see things properly

Myusernameismyusername · 29/05/2016 10:02

He most likely does feel anxious after that much medication because the side effects are poor sleep because of the asthma, palpitations and jitters then he is in a vicious cycle he needs to break

Myusernameismyusername · 29/05/2016 10:03

I hold my breath yes. I don't use aerosol one I use a powder actuated because the aerosol one makes me feel really horrible so I have to manually breathe it in

mumoseven · 29/05/2016 10:04

He just wants you to understand that he's special poorly by calling attention to it all the time.

NoCapes · 29/05/2016 10:05

Ds1 is 6 and we have a little basket with his inhalers and spacers in it, that is where it lives and it is always put back in the basket immediately after use
Could you buy him a little basket? DS's has dinosaurs on if that would help Grin

TheGirlOnTheLanding · 29/05/2016 10:06

You don't have to hold your breath after taking it,but there is a knack to administering it properly. If he has a review, the asthma nurse will likely ask to check his technique. It's worthwhile getting reviewed as soon as. Possible: as others have said, he shouldn't need. The reliever (blue inhaler) that frequently.i only use mine before exercise and if I have a cold - the rest of the time the steroid keeps my asthma under control and I was told if I needed my blue inhaler for more than a week or two I needed to go back to the asthma nurse.

JsOtherHalf · 29/05/2016 10:22

www.asthma.org.uk/advice/inhalers-medicines-treatments/inhalers-and-spacers/reliever/

He needs a review urgently.

lalalalyra · 29/05/2016 10:46

15 times a day? He needs to see someone asap as his preventer clearly isn't working.

I hold my breath after taking mine as that's how I was taught as a child. The asthma nurse tried to show me a different way to take it, but then said it wasn't worth messing about with technique.

The more out of breath he is the harder it can be to have good technique, which in turn means needing more inhaler - it can be a vicious circle.

Has he needed the blue this much for a while or just since the rib injury?

PuppyMonkey · 29/05/2016 10:53

No point everyone continuing to say "he needs a review" when OP said he did have a review booked this week and "forgot about it." He needs a good kick up the arse.

BusStopBetty · 29/05/2016 11:01

Yep, I agree with a good kick up the arse. He's an adult, he needs to have the bloody review (urgently!) and start looking after himself. No wonder it's making his anxiety worse, I'd be a jittery wreck if I was taking that much a day.

You could also tell him to buy a spacer as that will enable him to use his inhaler more effectively.

rainbowstardrops · 29/05/2016 11:05

Blimey, there's no way he should be using it that much!

When I have to take my reliever it makes me go really shaky. He must feel dreadful taking that much Confused

BillBrysonsBeard · 29/05/2016 11:20

Is there some kind of pouch he could wear around his neck with the inhaler in? My mum has one for her phone incase she falls.. It will probably get annoying for him but he might get the message!

Sephipops · 29/05/2016 11:27

Wow. He is using the inhaler far too much.
Both me and OH are asthmatic. We have an inhaler in the car, an inhaler in each of our bags, one on each side of the bed and then a pile in the medicine drawer in the kitchen. We each have our prevention (mine purple seretide, his the new white flutiform) on our respective sides of bed with the spare in the medicine drawer.

MintyBojingles · 29/05/2016 11:30

Yes he needs a kick up the arse. 15 times a day means he needs steroids, or is totally misusing the medicine. I had a really bad bout two years ago and was taking the reliever that much, and yes, it left me a jittery, palpitationy, anxious mess. Had a stern kick up the arse from a practice nurse. All managed properly now and I can't remember the last time I needed the reliever inhaler.

MrsCampbellBlack · 29/05/2016 11:33

Of course he should manage it. I have a child with type one diabetes - he manages his insulin/blood prick tests etc and has done so since he was 10.

MrsCampbellBlack · 29/05/2016 11:33

Obviously I monitor but he had to learn to take responsibility very quickly. You can't mess around with stuff like asthma/type one.

Wolpertinger · 29/05/2016 11:37

He has very very badly controlled asthma.

He clearly has very little understanding of it, when he is supposed to take his inhalers, how serious it is and when he is supposed to take medical advice.

He needs a giant kick up the arse, an urgent medical review and to take responsibility for himself.

And yes he feels anxious because his asthma is crap and his medication use is making him feel worse.

SeeYouLaterAlligator · 29/05/2016 11:42

My nearly 6 year old son is asthmatic and we have several inhalers around the house and he always knows where they are because we keep them in the same place. We also have one in the car at all times, and I keep one in my bag.

As PP have said, maybe have a designated area for the inhalers so he always knows where one is but realistically as an adult, he should be totally responsible for having one or knowing where one is at all times because what if you're not there and he needs one? Again as PP have said, if he needs his blue inhaler regularly he urgently needs an asthma review with his GP.

My son is on the orange inhaler (Flixotide) as well as Montelukast granules...perhaps it would be worth mentioning these names to his GP if he hasn't already tried them.
Every couple of months our son has an asthma attack where he is hospitalised and put on oxygen and nebulisers, usually triggered by a cold but in between he rarely needs his blue.

I hope he manages to get it under control for both your sakes!

AntiqueSinger · 29/05/2016 11:52

YANBU although I have been guilty of thisBlush. I have like ten inhalers a few are out of date!

A few tips: his doctor only gives two at a time, but he shouldn't wait until they're dry to get new ones. Once they're halfway finished he should put in a repeat prescription. That way even if he's disorganised they'll be plenty inhalers in the house to get hands on. I think four is the minimum a person should have at one time. Allows for one in car, bag, bedroom, medicine cabinet. You can buy without prescription too, so potentially have one in every room.

He needs a review. I have Symbicort. Fantastic. Is a reliever and preventer combined in one. Great for disorganised people! Tell him to get a review, he's having too many asthma attacks and driving you up the wall obviously.

Wolpertinger · 29/05/2016 12:06

Also giving a 'few more' to a disorganized person is a recipe for disaster.

The NHS can pay for him to have one current inhaler on his person and one spare for when that one runs out in an emergency. Wherever he is, his inhaler should be.

Having one in the car, one at his mum's, one at work, one in the shed etc just increases the likelihood that he doesn't actually bother to have one in his pocket when he actually needs it because he thinks he's got one everywhere or that he is near one but can't remember quite where in the car/shed/desk it is or that it is now out of date and ineffective. All of these possibilities are dangerous and could lead to his death in an asthma attack.

The policy of giving him 2 inhalers only isn't just cost cutting, it's for his safety. He needs to have one in his pocket at all times. And go to his review as no way should he be using an inhaler 15 times a day - something is seriously wrong with his asthma plan.

coco1810 · 29/05/2016 12:09

DP is also asthmatic and was crap at taking preventer. When I booked DS, DD and DP in for their asthma reviews, I grassed him up to the asthma nurse who gave him a bollocking. He's now very good at self care and settled an example to our DC.

Wolpertinger · 29/05/2016 14:24

Very good tip about grassing him up at the asthma review coco - I can picture him now:

Nurse: Do you have any problems with your asthma?
Him: No, not really because I think using my inhaler 15x a day is normal
Nurse: Do you use your inhaler much at night?
Him: Er, only occasionally every single night

And so on and so forth.

OddBoots · 29/05/2016 14:35

The computer system must show the rate at which he is getting through the inhalers.