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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

does it bother you that men use this site also?

478 replies

SomethingLike · 28/05/2016 19:20

Sometimes very female skewed things are discussed and I can't help feeling slightly uncomfortable when I read: "Male perspective here..."

I'm sure I am BU but does anyone else feel the same? I am struggling to put into words why it bothers me but it does.

OP posts:
Sagethyme · 30/05/2016 20:15

The only thing that bothers me about this sight are the trolls and goady blighters. Couldn't give a tupence if male or female

Rowanhart · 30/05/2016 20:16

I don't mind men being on here.

I do mind misogynist bellends with clear women issues popping up with phrases such as 'mumtitlement'.

BathshebaDarkstone · 30/05/2016 20:19

No, why should it? I particularly like Andrewofgg, he's a mean Mornington Crescent player!"Grin

Sparklingbrook · 30/05/2016 20:19

I always pick the cherry off a Cherry Bakewell, they are horrible. Sad The icing is the best bit.

BathshebaDarkstone · 30/05/2016 20:20

*erratic speech mark there. Confused

thecatfromjapan · 30/05/2016 20:20

Yes. 'Mumtitlement' - and all that ride/s with it - is grim. It's a positivement that it can be energetically deconstructed on Mumsnet.

Long may that continue.

Pollyputhtekettleon · 30/05/2016 20:21

I think men on the site improve it. Was never a fan of boy only and girls only shite.

thecatfromjapan · 30/05/2016 20:22

'Postivement'?

I don't know where that came from.

My keyboard has been taken over.

HoldTheDoorHodor · 30/05/2016 20:22

No. Men have just as much reason to have a view and ability to post a sensible view. Variety is the source of life etc

WanderingNotLost · 30/05/2016 20:28

These are the men who will spend their lives with us and raise our children- I'm all for anything that gives them insight into the female psyche.

SoupDragon · 30/05/2016 20:31

I do mind misogynist bellends with clear women issues popping up with phrases such as 'mumtitlement'.

Is it just men who say that?

thecatfromjapan · 30/05/2016 20:33

Soup

I think it's quite clear from the post that that is exactly NOT what that poster meant.

Strifae64 · 30/05/2016 21:22

YABVU

StrangeLookingParasite · 30/05/2016 22:08

Men are like the cherry on a cherry bakewell. Not a large proportion, but lovely and red and tasty.

Errrrr....

lovemyway · 30/05/2016 22:33

I was surprised at first because my DH wouldn't dream of coming on here. I did think it was a site for mums.Maybe it's time they changed the name and logo.

Trills · 30/05/2016 22:36

Men are like the cherry on a cherry bakewell - not traditional on a "proper" bakewell, but sometimes a nice bit of variety.

MissMargie · 31/05/2016 10:28

No I don't mind

JemimaPuddly · 31/05/2016 16:12

I've just seen a few comments including today on here where women are discussing things such as post baby bodies and changing shape during pregnancy and a man will come along and make a pervy or weird comment. It makes me feel like this isn't a safe place to post. I'd talk to women about those issues but not men. I know not all men are "weird" or "pervy" but this site does tend to attract quite a few and it changes the time of the whole thing.

VestalVirgin · 31/05/2016 16:25

I think men on the site improve it. Was never a fan of boy only and girls only shite.

How exactly do men on the site improve it? Name one example where a men contributed something very useful to a thread that a woman could not have contributed.

Some men write in threads about abusive relationships that "this is not how men are, he's an asshole", which is nice, but it usually happens between several posts of women stating the same thing, and I am not sure any woman has ever left her abusive partner solely because a man on a forum told her that other men are not like that.

VestalVirgin · 31/05/2016 16:31

Men are like the cherry on a cherry bakewell. Not a large proportion, but lovely and red and tasty.

If men were a smaller percentage of the population, and not, in fact, everywhere, I might appreciate having them in a forum for women.
Not sure what a cherry bakewell is, but a cherry on top is rarely more than ten percent of even the tiniest cupcake.

But men are everywhere. They dominate the public sphere. Men's thoughts and feelings dominate media.

The male point of view is not a rarity, nor is it "variety".

Having a forum where the female point of view is prioritized ... that would be variety. And it certainly is very rare.

CoolforKittyCats · 31/05/2016 16:36

It makes me feel like this isn't a safe place to post

It is an open, Internet forum. It is not a 'safe space'

You have no idea of the sex of anyone posting, unless they declare it.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 31/05/2016 16:38

in a forum for women.

It's not a forum for women, It's a forum for Parents. Mumsnet make no claims of it being a forum for Women only.

Newes · 31/05/2016 16:56

The male point of view is not a rarity, nor is it 'variety'

Yep.

EveryoneElsie · 31/05/2016 16:59

''I've just seen a few comments including today on here where women are discussing things such as post baby bodies and changing shape during pregnancy and a man will come along and make a pervy or weird comment. ''

I wish there was some way to prevent that, but there isnt.
Maybe we could work out a better way to respond to it when it happens.

JemimaPuddly · 31/05/2016 17:18

But it's not called ParentsNet it's called Mumsnet. Maybe Parentsnet should be started too so we can have both. In a society where women are sidelined and face many issues especially when it comes to parenting, childbirth, body image etc I think it's fair to have a place on the internet where females can support each other over issues they face. I'm not saying you'll never meet a supportive man, I just resent that they permeate every single place and now they're all over Mumsnet making (sometimes) patronising/ pervy/ weird comments and you know a post about nipple chafing or something like that is going to bring them out of the woodwork.

The beauty of Mumsnet is being able to post anonymously without judgment and support each other. When a man comes along and posts a comment I just feel like a private conversation I've been having with girlfriends has been gate crashed by a totally irrelevant odd neighbour listening in over the fence.