Called 999 today, now feeling guilty about the consequences.m

[flanjabelle]

Today I was called over by two elderly ladies who were quite distressed. I had been walking down the road with dd and stopped to talk to them. They were upset because a car had two babies in it (one around 6 months, one around 18 months) in full sun and there were no parents.

I asked them how long they had been there and the ladies said over 5 minutes and no one had come to the car. The baby was in the back, screaming his little head off, and the toddler was in the front, both in full sun.

I looked around, no one was coming to the car, the shops are right down the other end of the street and no one was coming. I called 999 after being there for around 4 minutes. The police asked me what was happening and I had explained where we were and what was wrong. They were telling me someone was coming out to us as a woman came back to the car. One of the ladies asked her if it was her car, she said it was, and shouted at the elderly lady that she had only been in the bank. I told her she shouldn't leave her babies in the car alone, definitely not in this heat! (It was 25 degrees here this afternoon and very sunny.) The bank is around a hundred yards away, at the beginning of the road. She was parked on double yellow lines near the town car park, but not in it.

The police told me they could hear what was happening and told me to get the registration of the car. I did as the woman got in the car and roared off up the road at speed.

The police told me they had her address and would be going there to pay her a visit.

Now I'm pretty sure I did the right thing, but now I'm having wobbles about the knock on effect of this. She is going to get a ss referral now isn't she. Should I have waited longer? In total she would have been away from the car for at least 12-15 minutes if not more as I don't know how long she had been gone when the ladies noticed the babies alone.

After she left I spent a while comforting the ladies as they found it all very upsetting. I don't think they had mobile phones as they didn't seem to know what to do in the situation, they were just very upset to see the babies alone and one of them clearly distressed.

Aibu for what I did today? Does what she did justify the consequences that are going to happen now? Should I have just waited by the car? Just having a wobble now.

You did the right thing.

It is a very common problem that most people will find it difficult to call police/nspcc when there is an issue with children because they worry about the knock on effects on the family.

I asked this very question when I was doing safe guarding training: what if I've got it wrong/overrreacted and ss intervene with the family and cause them stress. I was told that ss never remove children from the home unless they are at serious risk of harm. Before that point they offer assistance to the family to sort out any problems they may have. And I was also told that my small piece of information may be the piece of the puzzle they need to intervene. They said that I should never worry and question what will happen next, rather I should always log anything that concerns me.

It sounds like it was very traumatic with you, the old ladies and the children all upset. Then the mum coming out and getting arsey. Rest assured anyone would be finding that difficult to deal with and losing sleep or thinking it over anxiously.

You definitiely did the correct thing. Any intervention from ss will be appropriate to the situation they discover when they pop round. It may be that just having them tell her it's wrong will sort the situation out so it doesn't happen again. She may have been totally ignorant of the danger her children were in. But you were there to sort it out and she'll get the advice she needs to prevent it happening again.

It's people like yourself that children need to fight their corner, because they can't do it themselves. We should all be much more willing to do this sort of thing. There is no harm in it. If the family are happy, then ss will see this and leave them to it with a bit of education about the risks of leaving kids in the car.

Wanted to add regarding your anxiety and mental health that with your back issues (severe pain, lack of sleep, not being able to see the end of it yet) and your dd's heart issues there is actually no wonder your mental health has taken a knock. It's bound to happen when you have serious issues like these affecting your life. Your mind is going to go to an anxious place; it's bound to happen.

I find relaxation cds extremely useful when I feel overwhelmed/things going over in my mind. You can pop the headphones on anytime of the night too if you are having insomnia.

I get sciatica, two years ago I had to use a walking stick as so bad, painkillers have never even touched the pain. Had physiotherapy and also started to wear medium height wedged shoes on the advice of an osteopath I saw privately. The difference is amazing. My back has a congenital issue which cannot be corrected. A combination of wedged shoes and walking for an hour a day has really helped. I haven't walked for two days as have been too busy and can feel issues arising already.

for you I get it totally.

Thank you very much to all of you who have been so understanding about where my head is at the minute. I know it's just because of everything going on at the minute, and I have reached out for help so hopefully once I get to see the CAMHS that I will be in a better place.

Those children today (yesterday) did not come to any harm, you actions made sure of that even if the mother had not come back.

Your actions mean that this will never happen to those two children again.

Just a thought flanjabelle as you've twice mentioned seeing CAMHS for your mental health- they are a child and adolescent service so won't be able to assess you (unless you are under 18?) It might be an idea to see your GP this week about a referral to adult mental health services so you aren't waiting for too long?

You absolutely did the right thing!

Leggy, i thought the doctor called it that, I assumed it was Community Adult Mental health services. Maybe he said something else then if that's not right. All I know is I am being referred for help with my mental health as I did not want anti depressants. I have been put on them before and had bad experiences with them. I'm 25 so definitely not under child mental health services! He could have said cmhs? I was quite distressed when he was talking about it so I may not have taken it in and just repeated something I have read on here instead of the right one. I am struggling to take on information at the best of times at the minute so it wouldn't surprise me if I had it wrong.

To top it all off the middle of my back has now gone into an awful spasm. It's agonising and isn't really being helped by any of my meds. I'm alternating hot and cold but it's awful. Feeling rather sorry for myself tonight.

Oh that's probably it then, I just wanted to make sure you were being referred and you are so that's good.

You poor thing, you're really going through it at the minute aren't you. Things will get better