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AIBU?

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Original poster

Leaving baby in car to get car park ticket

302 replies

IstheCartooFar · 25/05/2016 09:10

Name changed as chatted to husband and friend about this already...

I've tried to include all relevant details to avoid drip feeding etc...

Woman in car park annoyed me yesterday. I'd left baby in car to walk to ticket machine (at the end of the aisle next to mine, no closer spaces available). When I came back woman had parked next to me and getting her own children out.

She said 'excuse me, have you just left your baby in the car all on its own?' in an accusing way.

I replied I was just at the ticket machine, which she humphed at and turned away.

I felt pretty cross at her implication I'd done some awful dangerous parenting so I said I found her tone very judgemental.

She just said well you hear horror stories (and then said some confusing story about how some people have brain injuries and do weird things so you have to check). I just said you have to make lots of risk assessments as a parent of leaving baby in car vs lugging them through busy car park, she turned away and didn't answer.

Anyway, do people leave baby in car to get a ticket or is that just me being lazy??

And was she unreasonable to check or would you do the same? (to me it was pretty obvious I'd just gone to get a ticket rather than done a full shop, considering I'd walked past her car with ticket, put it on windscreen then was getting baby out).

OP posts:
DuckAndPancakes · 25/05/2016 10:07

0300100001

... If you're gonna make her post more sensible at least correct the bloody your/you're mistake. Grin

BombadierFritz · 25/05/2016 10:08

jengnr she didnt say the bit about 'while you got a ticket'. It might be obvious to op that is what she was doing, but not to the woman waiting. Op could have clarified that instead of saying she sounded judgemental. The womans comments about brain injury to me suggest she was not worried about the op leaving her baby for a sec to get a ticket, but that she had forgotten she had left her child in the car (see many cases in media of babies dying in cars after being forgotten by overtired parents). I cant see why she would immediately mention brain injury as a reason to leave your baby while getting a ticket.

DuckAndPancakes · 25/05/2016 10:09

TreeBird... Happened to me once.
Put DD in car seat and had put keys on the parcel shelf to strap her in using all four limbs as she was going stiff as a board
Shut the door, car had self locked with the keys on the parcel shelf. DD could reach them as she was so well strapped in. Luckily I was at home and my brother living with me at the time, so called him and got him to throw me the spare key.

Could have happened in a car park miles away though.

BombadierFritz · 25/05/2016 10:10

(I dont think she needed to say anything to op but it was hardly a massive attack on her parenting)

MissDuke · 25/05/2016 10:10

In fact, you must make sure that you leave your driver's door open until the baby's door is open, as if you close it to walk round the car you might get locked out with the baby inside - it's just too big a risk!!!!

This actually did happen to me once - was horrendous Blush

I set my keys down on the passenger seat while putting the baby seat in the back - then closed both doors and bizarrely the car locked Shock I had to wait an hour for my sister to collect the spare keys from my house, while my pfb peacefully slept and I bawled my eyes out Blush Maybe this is where my dislike of leaving children alone in the car came from????????

DuckAndPancakes · 25/05/2016 10:11

DD couldn't reach them.
I think I need to wake up a bit better, at least there's no children in my care at the moment. Or at least, I don't think so 🤔

80Kgirl · 25/05/2016 10:12

I missing something

Yes, common sense! Grin

MissDuke · 25/05/2016 10:13

Duck Grin

runningincircles12 · 25/05/2016 10:13

And no 1000100 am not joking, am totally amazed that a poster on here has to even ask! Of course you don't leave a baby out of your sight for a second, let alone a minute in a car, am I missing something

I really hope the same applies at home ldnmum2015 because if you let your baby nap in his crib for half an hour and you were in a different room, the ceiling could collapse on the crib. Also, masked intruders could enter your home while your back was turned.

DuckAndPancakes · 25/05/2016 10:14

Guys
Don't forget the fucking foxes

They will enter your home/car/garden/Winnebago and eat your babies.
(Change this for dingo in Australia)

Hygellig · 25/05/2016 10:15

I usually leave my children in the car when I get a ticket. It's quicker and easier just to nip to the machine myself (although now they are older they sometimes want to put the coin in). One day I might get round to paying for parking using my phone.

Euripidesralph · 25/05/2016 10:16

Oh for heavens sake...op YADNBU and for those pearl clutches. ...really? Do you honestly feel that level of judgement over this is rational??

Op there is a big difference in scenario here....i always park as close to a ticket machine as possible and lock the door so the 3.5 year old and 6 month old are safe. I wouldn't let the car go out of sight nor would I leave the doors open but it's perfectly reasonable to leave them for a few seconds

If I traipse my baby and runner of a preschooler out of the car for a ticket where my hands and attention will be taken for a few seconds they are at more risk than if they are safely in their car seats. I am careful about for example if it's warm I'll leave the windows cracked etc....I'm never away for more than a few seconds and can see them all the time....how on earth is that dangerous and believe me I'm an over protective mother

Honestly the woman in the car park is a good example of the level of anxiety in mothers.....it's one thing to be aware of a baby in a car alone but in that scenario the rational response is "oh phew you had just gone to get a ticket.. .sorry just noticed the baby and thought I'd keep an eye out"

This judgemental crap gives us all a bad name....so for example I personally don't leave the kids in the car at a petrol station because my best friend had an incident (without kids) where the cashier hit a panic button accidently and all the shutters locked them in the shop...there was a woman in there who had left the baby in the car and obviously was terrified ( baby was fine all was well in the end)

But that's my choice (and not overly rational as let's be fair how often does that actually happen lol) and I absolutely do not judge others....I don't get it.....do people get a kick out of getting on their high horse? Does it elicit some sort of powerful supermom endorphin because to me it just looks like a bosom hoiking (never a good look) and a " I care more about your child than you.....saaaaavvvvve the poor little mites" bollocks

I really wish there were more mothers supporting and banding together ....it would make life easier and safer for all involved

Ldnmum2015 · 25/05/2016 10:16

Doh 100000010000 if you and your baby got hurt while outside the car, then at least your child wouldn't be still in the car on its own waiting for its parent to not return, imagine how much worse that would be!

chameleon43 · 25/05/2016 10:17

"Once had an older bloke try to grab ds as we crossed the road as he didn't feel we were crossing safely and was "concerned" about him - some people just need to get unnecessarily involved

You say that like someone grabbing hold of a small child near a road who they think is in danger is a bad thing"

Needs a socket - ??? he is my son and I was looking after him as we crossed the road. He was perfectly safe - so yes, I took offence to a random stranger grabbing him. It's just another example of people judging others with no due cause.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 25/05/2016 10:18

Ldnmum. And no 1000100 am not joking, am totally amazed that a poster on here has to even ask! Of course you don't leave a baby out of your sight for a second, let alone a minute in a car, am I missing something?

Yes. Absolutely 😁

purplefizz26 · 25/05/2016 10:18

I always leave the baby in the car to but a ticket aslong as the car is in good view.

Wouldn't if it was say, on the other side of the carpark, and I couldn't see the car.

I can understand someone hanging around to ensure the parent returned to the car, but would be mightily pissed off if someone dared have a pop at me for leaving the baby for a minute to buy a ticket where i was constantly watching the car.

Pseudo341 · 25/05/2016 10:18

I think the main concern is if something happened to you while you were getting the ticket, then no one would know you had a child with you who needed looking after. I drive a van with blacked out windows so no one can see the kids in the back. I'm also super paranoid and over protective.

I don't think there's a problem with it and wouldn't judge someone else for doing it, but I might hang around if I spotted a very young child on it's own in a car just to make sure there was an adult coming soon. I wouldn't have said anything to you once I'd seen you coming back though.

DuckAndPancakes · 25/05/2016 10:20

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ExtraHotLatteToGo · 25/05/2016 10:23

Ldnmum. Doh 100000010000 if you and your baby got hurt while outside the car, then at least your child wouldn't be still in the car on its own waiting for its parent to not return, imagine how much worse that would be

Oh so you are just having a laugh. That's a relief. I actually thought you were serious! But obviously not, because no one in their right mind would think it was better for a baby to be hurt than alone.

runningincircles12 · 25/05/2016 10:27

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80Kgirl · 25/05/2016 10:29

I totally respect the mums who get the baby out first because they want the full time on their ticket. I get that! I also totally respect the mums who find it more convenient to leave the children in the car. I think both these are valid.

What I don't like is a general trend in our society to regard anything that makes women's lives just a little more difficult as virtuous. I think we should call bullsht on all the silly, crp that makes life a pain for no real reason.

Case in point, has any one seen this essay on screen time?

daily.jstor.org/screentime-feminist-issue/

curren · 25/05/2016 10:30

Wow!! I don't leave my kids in the car but ldnmum takes it to a whole new level!

I don't leave my kids the car, but I don't think the gates of hell will be unleashed on my kids if I did.

NapQueen · 25/05/2016 10:31

"I drive a van with blacked out windows so no-one can see the kids in the back"

GrinGrinGrin

Ldnmum2015 · 25/05/2016 10:31

Er duckthingy, I am saying that if an accident happened to you out of the
car and you child is with you, then emergency services can look after the child as they can see them, if you had an accident on your own outside, then who would know you have a baby in the car? So yes as it goes it would be safer if you are both together then separated, and no am not a troll just a mother with a bit of h&s common sense

NisekoWhistler · 25/05/2016 10:34

What a busy body!! I think you made the right decision leaving baby in the car! Ignore the interfering busy body

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