Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 12 13

Original poster

Leaving baby in car to get car park ticket

302 replies

IstheCartooFar · 25/05/2016 09:10

Name changed as chatted to husband and friend about this already...

I've tried to include all relevant details to avoid drip feeding etc...

Woman in car park annoyed me yesterday. I'd left baby in car to walk to ticket machine (at the end of the aisle next to mine, no closer spaces available). When I came back woman had parked next to me and getting her own children out.

She said 'excuse me, have you just left your baby in the car all on its own?' in an accusing way.

I replied I was just at the ticket machine, which she humphed at and turned away.

I felt pretty cross at her implication I'd done some awful dangerous parenting so I said I found her tone very judgemental.

She just said well you hear horror stories (and then said some confusing story about how some people have brain injuries and do weird things so you have to check). I just said you have to make lots of risk assessments as a parent of leaving baby in car vs lugging them through busy car park, she turned away and didn't answer.

Anyway, do people leave baby in car to get a ticket or is that just me being lazy??

And was she unreasonable to check or would you do the same? (to me it was pretty obvious I'd just gone to get a ticket rather than done a full shop, considering I'd walked past her car with ticket, put it on windscreen then was getting baby out).

OP posts:

EponasWildDaughter · 25/05/2016 09:36

I get baby/toddler/child out for ticket machine.

Sometimes it's right out of sight of the car and you never know how long you'll be. Nearest might not be working, or reject coins, queue to use it ect. Plus i don't want to pay for all the mins farting about getting the buggy out, baby in buggy, coat, blanket, snack, get bag, find change, ect, ect, ect.

I don't get the baby/child out for petrol though. I try and use a station with 'pay at pump' or use a pump nearest to the pay window so i can keep an eye out while i go in to pay.

onecurrantbun1 · 25/05/2016 09:36

You were fine. Assuming she didn't know you were just at the ticket machine if she arrived after you. I leave kids in car to take trolley back, but I won't leave them outside nursery in the pram like some other parents do. You find your own comfort zone.

ohtheholidays · 25/05/2016 09:36

No I wouldn't my self and I wouldn't have been offended if someone checked how long the baby had been left.

The lady didn't know you OP and for all she knew the baby could have been left there for a long time.
Numerous times myself and my DH have had to call the Police over a baby or young child being left in a car,once it was a toddler and a very large very aggitated Dog.

If it's at a supermarket we always get a message put out over the supermarket first but sadly 8 times out off 10 the parent doesn't get back till the car until the Police have arrived.
The worst one was nearly 40 minutes and that was just from when we spotted the toddler,she was doing a full supermarket shop.
My DH is a Police Officer and he has no time for parents that do that and neither do I.

In your case it was different but I think the lady was right to just check.

Beth2511 · 25/05/2016 09:37

I would, my toddler is turning into a liability in car parks so the less time with her in one the safer she is.

I also leave her in the car whilst paying for petrol, although i do time it for my stations quietest time so i know there wont be a queue!

GiraffesAndButterflies · 25/05/2016 09:38

Personally I think the additional risk is minimal either way. A couple extra minutes walking through the car park is probably the worst risk as the biggest overall risk you face is being run over. But there's so little in it I can't see why it's worth getting het up about.

BombadierFritz · 25/05/2016 09:39

Its good she waited, she probably didnt need to speak to you about it, but she didnt really say much to be fair and it was you that pushed to continue the discussion. By horror stories she no doubt meant people forgetting they have kids at all in the back of the car, then the kids die after a few hours in the sun in the car. I would have waited (then alerted security after a few mins) and yes challenged you if you had a load of shopping, but not if you just had a ticket. But she wasnt very confrontational really, was she?

MissDuke · 25/05/2016 09:39

It never fails to amaze me how dangerous people think it is to get children out of a car How do you actually get from the car to the shops? I never leave my children in the car, not because I think it is necessarily dangerous but because I just don't like doing it! The upside is that they have now learnt how to safely walk through carparks and forecourts

I would never challenge anyone else for doing it though, I really don't care what others do. Yet people on here can be very critical of someone like me not leaving my children in the car

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 25/05/2016 09:40

Oh just ignore her. I judged the person who's toddler ran across the petrol forecourt yesterday.

I have 3 children, aged 3 and under. I firmly believe it's much safer for them to stay in the car whilst I pay for petrol. I can't carry both girls and hold DS' hand so I'd need tiger the pram out if the boot. Bearing in mind the fact that I've been rear ended twice in two deist are petrol stations, the odds are more likely that me/the DCs would be hit by a car whilst on the forecourt than the car spontaneously combust. And if I'm going to be rear-ended, I'd rather they were secured in car seats than sitting in a pram

DuckAndPancakes · 25/05/2016 09:42

Who has been critical of people not leaving people in their car, MissDuke?

Is it anyone? I'm not seeing it..... Or are you just being antagonistic and on your high horse about what you do?

DuckAndPancakes · 25/05/2016 09:42

People not leaving little people. Children. Child types.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 25/05/2016 09:45

Once had an older bloke try to grab ds as we crossed the road as he didn't feel we were crossing safely and was "concerned" about him - some people just need to get unnecessarily involved

You say that like someone grabbing hold of a small child near a road who they think is in danger is a bad thing

FankEweVeryMuch · 25/05/2016 09:45

I do it all the time and hve done so over the course of 4 kids.

Imagine me traipsing across the car park with four unruly boys to get a ticket, then back again.

I think (purely in my brain, no evidence to back it up ) that the risk of injury to the baby would be higher taking them across the car park than it would be to leave them in there.

curren · 25/05/2016 09:45

Curren that could have happened with the parents in the car too though say 10 seconds before they were sticking in the key currently putting on their seatbelt.

Yes I am aware of that. That's why I said it's unlikely to happen again. However, it sticks with me and I prefer to have them with me.

Curren, I would say that the child was probably much safer in their car seat inside of a stationary car than if that wayward car had hit the pushchair or the mother holding the child....

And that's your choice to make. Mine is different.

As I said I don't judge others for making a different decision, so not sure why you would try and convince me I am wrong.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 25/05/2016 09:47

If it's so terribly dangerous to leave your children in the car, then why do we never hear stories of abductions/deaths due to cars bursting into flames?

I do however know of two local news reports in the last two years of a toddler being hit in a car park and a pram being reversed into

There is a huge difference between transporting one non-ambiant baby and a newborn, a one and a two year old. Plus the trollers are ironically further from the time machine at two of my local supermarkets.

So is the suggestion that I get three children into a pram, walk to get the ticket, walk up to get the trolley and push the trolley and pram back to the car? Then move the children from the pram to the trolley. Then do shopping. Get out pram, pack shopping in car. Put children in pram and return pram and trolley to trolley bay. Walk back to car. Put children in car, unpack shopping and out pram in boot. Repack shopping. Go home.

I have never in my life seen anyone carry out such an operation and I live in a very big city. But loads of you must of you never leave your DC unattended.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 25/05/2016 09:48

ticket machine!

AndTakeYourPenguinWithYou · 25/05/2016 09:48

It doesn't have to be sunny or hugely hot to have an overheating risk and it can happen quickly

No, it can't. In the UK, it cannot get hot enough to overheat a baby in the time it takes to get a ticket from the parking machine. It's not possible.

sunnyoutside · 25/05/2016 09:49

I take ds out of the car and put him in his pushchair before I get a ticket. Not because of any safety concerns but because I want to get full value of my ticket

BumWad · 25/05/2016 09:49

FGS some of the responses are ridiculous. Car jacking?

YANBU I always leave DS in the car when getting a parking ticket, shopping trolley, paying for fuel etc.

candykane25 · 25/05/2016 09:49

I think the woman had jumped to the cnclusion that you'd gone off on a long shopping trip and hadn't thought to think you might just be getting a ticket, when she realised she couldn't back down and dug herself into a bigger and bigger hole.
You did the safest thing. The woman will probably think twice before confronting again, and check if a parent is nearby before assuming the worse.

Original poster

IstheCartooFar · 25/05/2016 09:51

ldn you're pretty funny.

OP posts:

BombadierFritz · 25/05/2016 09:52

If you park up and have time to start getting your kids out, then see a baby in the car next to you, it wouldnt be immediately obvious the parent was at the ticket machine. Its always worth checking by waiting for the parent or alerting security if it is a sunny day as a baby could become very unwell if the parent had forgotten them and gone shopping.

Mishaps · 25/05/2016 09:53

I think it is fine to leave a little one in a car for a very short period of time like that. The same thing often arises outside school here when I have to dash in to make myself know to the teacher when I am picking up my GC. I do not see it as a problem and I think that this lady was very rude to speak to you as she did.

20thcenturybitch · 25/05/2016 09:53

How ridiculous. I think either option is fine and I wouldn't judge you for leaving them or taking them.

I always leave my baby. Wouldn't cross my mind to do it any other way. I wont even try to justify it as being safer than taking them, it's just a hell of a lot easier and equally safe, I lock the door and can see the car from the machine!

Same thing at petrol stations. It's easier, they are happy, I can see them and there's often a queue of cars waiting. Why on earth would I unstrap and restrap them (probably causing a tantrum getting back in) when it's unnecessary?

candykane25 · 25/05/2016 09:54

Oh and gobbling, I prefer the idea of a time machine

00100001 · 25/05/2016 09:55

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 12 13