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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Leaving baby in car to get car park ticket

302 replies

IstheCartooFar · 25/05/2016 09:10

Name changed as chatted to husband and friend about this already...

I've tried to include all relevant details to avoid drip feeding etc...

Woman in car park annoyed me yesterday. I'd left baby in car to walk to ticket machine (at the end of the aisle next to mine, no closer spaces available). When I came back woman had parked next to me and getting her own children out.

She said 'excuse me, have you just left your baby in the car all on its own?' in an accusing way.

I replied I was just at the ticket machine, which she humphed at and turned away.

I felt pretty cross at her implication I'd done some awful dangerous parenting so I said I found her tone very judgemental.

She just said well you hear horror stories (and then said some confusing story about how some people have brain injuries and do weird things so you have to check). I just said you have to make lots of risk assessments as a parent of leaving baby in car vs lugging them through busy car park, she turned away and didn't answer.

Anyway, do people leave baby in car to get a ticket or is that just me being lazy??

And was she unreasonable to check or would you do the same? (to me it was pretty obvious I'd just gone to get a ticket rather than done a full shop, considering I'd walked past her car with ticket, put it on windscreen then was getting baby out).

OP posts:

987flowers · 25/05/2016 09:55

Oh I never did but that's only so I could get full ticket time and it used to take forever sorting the buggy etc! So not for safety concerns but money ones! You were perfectly fine leaving the baby in the car!

MissDuke · 25/05/2016 09:56

DuckAndPancakes

Look again We even have the usual line above that people like me are lying because they have never saw anyone take their children of the care before haha! My post clearly refers to mumsnet in general though, not just this thread

Ldnmum2015 · 25/05/2016 09:58

Littieditittie look it up, recent case in Wigan,uk. Like i said cases are rare, but a risk is still a risk, the advice when you break down is too get out of your car, so why the back lash, am guessing alot of mums leave their babies in their cars to get tickets then! Shame on you

NeedsAsockamnesty · 25/05/2016 09:58

As I said I don't judge others for making a different decision, so not sure why you would try and convince me I am wrong

I could quite happily potter about my life choosing to believe orange peel would make a great kettle. I would still be wrong

00100001 · 25/05/2016 09:59

Wow, you guys are playing down the risks here:

Leave baby in car = car will EXPLODE and then you'll just be standing there holding your ticket like a goose thinking... "Oh maaaan, If I was in the car I could have totally prevented that from happening..."

Take baby with you to ticket machine = articulated lorry will jack-knife, barrel roll and squish you. And you'll be laying there thinking " Oh maaaan, I should have left the baby in the car.. this would never have happned"

Moral of this story.

If a baby is present, situations are inherently more dangerous and risk of crazy thing shappening is automatically higher.

Therefore, never have babies. it's the safest thing to do. It really is. Honestly, MNers, If you really loved your child, you wouldn't even conceive them and put them at so much risk.

MissDuke · 25/05/2016 09:59

I do however know of two local news reports in the last two years of a toddler being hit in a car park and a pram being reversed into

But surely this can happen whether you are going to get a ticket or walking towards the shops?

imwithspud · 25/05/2016 09:59

You did nothing wrong op, I would and have done the same.

I have a 3 year old and nearly 1 year old, it's much safer and much less faff to go to the ticket machine on my own, when I can concentrate on giving the machine the correct amount of money without worrying about the 3 year old getting hit by a car, return to the car, get the children out and be on my way.

I do the same at petrol stations although I prefer pay at the pump when possible.

Whispers Sometimes when I pick my dnan up to take her shopping I will quickly nip into her house to let her know we're waiting outside whilst they're in the car parked outside.

I would never dream of leaving them in the car alone for extended periods though. My mil once left dd1 in the car asleep whilst she went into her dads house, she was apparently only gone for 5 minutes although I'm dubious as to how accurate she was being with me as I'm sure I remember her saying she stopped for coffee - I was not pleased

StarlingMurmuration · 25/05/2016 09:59

I've done this once, and it made me very anxious, especially as there was a queue for the ticket machine. Usually I'd pop DS in his pram when I got the ticket - on this occasion, we were going somewhere without the pram, but I would have struggled to carry him and sort out getting a ticket, so I left him in the car. I wasn't really worried anything bad would happen to him in the five minutes I was away, I was more worried someone would think he'd been left and call the police to break my car window or something.

This is the one time I've ever left DS in the car alone, BUT I suffer from terrible anxiety. I'm over cautious.

runningincircles12 · 25/05/2016 09:59

Yeah, everyone knows that carjacking is rife in this country, especially when there is a baby in the car. Although if the driver is not in the car, would it actually be a carjacking? Isn't it just a bog-standard car-nicking? I presume that you don't leave the keys in the ignition when getting the ticket. Oh, and this isn't Johannesburg.

Also, it could work the other way round. What if you go to pay for petrol after filling up and a crazed gunman robs the shop while you are inside. Wouldn't your baby then be better off actually in the car outside than with you? Again, a very likely scenario in our lawless society.

gandalf456 · 25/05/2016 10:00

Love the above post.

I'm pretty sure I've always done this, provided that the machine is not miles away, in which case, I've taken them with me.

Jengnr · 25/05/2016 10:00

'Did you leave the baby in the car while you got a ticket?'
'Of course I did' incredulous look, walks off

DuckAndPancakes · 25/05/2016 10:00

I remember a thread about this a few months back where it was shared on Facebook, it's actually the reason I started posting here again....
It was about children being left in the car when paying for petrol. And how the car would explode, the baby would be set on fire and then someone would steal the locked car with a child in it. Or something along those lines.

But then, I'm a terrible mum. I leave my child alone in the house for upwards of one minute at times 😮

NeedsAsockamnesty · 25/05/2016 10:01

look it up, recent case in Wigan,uk. Like i said cases are rare, but a risk is still a risk, the advice when you break down is too get out of your car, so why the back lash, am guessing alot of mums leave their babies in their cars to get tickets then! Shame on you

Is that the advice if you break down in a car park?

CocktailQueen · 25/05/2016 10:02

Ldnmum2015 - really??? The risk of any of those things happening is vanishingly small.

When was a baby last carjacked in a car park? FFS. You're being ridiculous.

And as for another car parking too close so you can't open the door, cars have 4 doors. And the op has just gone to get a ticket, not scale Everest. Heavens.

Pacx · 25/05/2016 10:02

She was reasonable to check, you were reasonable to do it.

She maybe could have said it a bit better - found out whether you had really done what she suspected first.

You could have appreciated that she cared enough about someone else's child to say something rather than do the easy thing and ignore a potentially dangerous situation.

namechangeparents · 25/05/2016 10:02

I genuinely can't remember what I used to do when ds was small but suspect I parked as close to ticket machine as I could.

20thcenturybitch · 25/05/2016 10:03

Now that I consider the error of my ways I think ldnmum2015 is right.

In fact, you must make sure that you leave your driver's door open until the baby's door is open, as if you close it to walk round the car you might get locked out with the baby inside - it's just too big a risk!!!!

00100001 · 25/05/2016 10:03

oh... Ldnmum2015 is serious...

Wow.

so, I have this to say to you...

I can't believe you are really asking this, of course you DON'T can leave a baby in a car on its own, not even for the minutes it takes to get your ticket.
Though very rare, safety risks are pretty high, another car could hit yours you and your baby while they are reversing, you could get locked out of your car, and you left the babies food inside... you could return to find another car parked too close (and not be able to get you and baby back in the car) so you cant open the door, even been cases of theft and car jacking. kidnapping and running over in car parks. I really can't believe your [sic]even asking...

MissDuke · 25/05/2016 10:04

My mil once left dd1 in the car asleep whilst she went into her dads house, she was apparently only gone for 5 minutes although I'm dubious as to how accurate she was being with me as I'm sure I remember her saying she stopped for coffee - I was not pleased

My sil left my younger two in the car once while she went shopping, she was at least 15 mins. Bizarrely she took my eldest in with her though. I was really upset as she knows I wouldn't do that, however I didn't say anything to her. She has never been asked to babysit again though!!

TreeBird16 · 25/05/2016 10:04

I do this. I always park within view of the ticket machine. Put the shopping and kids in the car and then return the trolley and so the ticket.

I also leave them in the car while I dash into the petrol station sometimes - they'll always be in view as the shop looks onto the forecourt.

If I saw a baby alone in a car i would wait a min and as soon as I saw you walking back, ticket in hand, i would smile and get one with my day.

People are knob jockeys sometimes.

DuckAndPancakes · 25/05/2016 10:05

I also used to leave DD sleeping in the car on the driveway when I lived in a house. I could see from my comfy seat on the sofa and she got to not wake up grotty and acting like demon spawn nap whilst I relaxed. Obviously I was putting her at risk from car jacking, spontaneous combustion and let's not forget cat/dog/fox attacks.

I did the same with the pushchair in the garden. Sun shade on (SPF doodah thing don't you know), brakes on, pushchair positioned so it didn't go flying and cup of tea and biscuits for me. Then I was putting her at risk of burglars who would steal the pushchair, kidnappers who would steal her and the cat/dog/fox that would eat her face, sleep on her face or set fire to the pushchair.

Ldnmum2015 · 25/05/2016 10:05

And no 1000100 am not joking, am totally amazed that a poster on here has to even ask! Of course you don't leave a baby out of your sight for a second, let alone a minute in a car, am I missing something

PregnantAndEngaged · 25/05/2016 10:06

I don't drive but if I did I imagine I would leave my son in the car while getting a ticket or putting trolley away, I'd just make sure the car was locked in the off chance some nutter came and snatched him in the very very short time I was away from the car.

imwithspud · 25/05/2016 10:06

Maybe ldnmum is the woman described in the op.

TreeBird16 · 25/05/2016 10:07

Also on the locked out of car thing: My sis threw her bag on the passenger seat and put her baby in her car seat and walked around the drivers door and by the time she got there the car had locked. Fancy new key cards things....... Anyway lovely builders helped her out and it ended ok though she was terribly upset.

My point being............shit happens anyway

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