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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Leaving baby in car to get car park ticket

302 replies

IstheCartooFar · 25/05/2016 09:10

Name changed as chatted to husband and friend about this already...

I've tried to include all relevant details to avoid drip feeding etc...

Woman in car park annoyed me yesterday. I'd left baby in car to walk to ticket machine (at the end of the aisle next to mine, no closer spaces available). When I came back woman had parked next to me and getting her own children out.

She said 'excuse me, have you just left your baby in the car all on its own?' in an accusing way.

I replied I was just at the ticket machine, which she humphed at and turned away.

I felt pretty cross at her implication I'd done some awful dangerous parenting so I said I found her tone very judgemental.

She just said well you hear horror stories (and then said some confusing story about how some people have brain injuries and do weird things so you have to check). I just said you have to make lots of risk assessments as a parent of leaving baby in car vs lugging them through busy car park, she turned away and didn't answer.

Anyway, do people leave baby in car to get a ticket or is that just me being lazy??

And was she unreasonable to check or would you do the same? (to me it was pretty obvious I'd just gone to get a ticket rather than done a full shop, considering I'd walked past her car with ticket, put it on windscreen then was getting baby out).

OP posts:

magratvonlipwig · 26/05/2016 22:00

I am actually surprised at people who don't leave the baby in the car while they get the ticket. Or pay for petrol.
Why make life that complicated?

LPickers · 26/05/2016 22:27

Ha ha good point that ou grandmothers' era used to leave prams outside the supermarket to do their shop. They also used to leave babies in prams outside their front door for hours. My nan said "they loved looking at the trees moving". Yeah, sure they did Nan!
Obvs times have changed...

Maryann1975 · 26/05/2016 23:49

Lpickers, they have changed pretty fast then. My dd used to love watching the tree fairies when she was a baby 10 years ago. Kept her quiet for hours! (But I didn't leave on the front path alone for hours like your man probably did). Admittedly ds didn't have the same affection for sitting in his Pram watching the trees as his sister, but I think that was a personality thing. He still isn't in to the idea of tree fairies.

Kimbrookes85 · 27/05/2016 00:24

If the ticket machine is in easy view of my car id leave my baby in the car if it's a bit further away I'd put him in the pram first then fetch the ticket.
I agree with you tho life's full of risk assessments as a mummy you do what you think is best 😀

JellyTipisthebest · 27/05/2016 02:31

I feel the need to post this video, this dad has some great advice on how to be a dad. I think people stress to much life is one risk after another. At the end of the day you have to get your child to adult help whilst passing on all you knowledge and experience while also letting them learn for themselves. When they are small its safer to leave them in the car, when they are teenagers it may be much cheaper and less stressful to leave them in the car but if you do they wont learn how to shop.

WhySmythie · 27/05/2016 06:19

When my children were babies/toddlers I'd get everything out and be ready to go then get the ticket purely to get my money's worth on the extortionate car park ticket.

Now that they are all 4+ and don't need a pram and won't hold my hand I leave them in the car while I get a ticket then they jump out.

MissDuke · 27/05/2016 06:28

No one's answered my question. What do you do with the baby in the buggy when you go to stick the ticket in the windscreen??

It really isn't a mystery You just open the door and lean in and stick the ticket in? In much the same way as you lean in and grab coats/bags etc to throw under the buggy when you do eventually get baby out to go shopping surely?

Jane
Very few posters have actually said that they think it is unsafe to leave children in the car, but that we just prefer not to. Many many posters have said it is too dangerous to walk babies and toddlers over to the ticket machine. This is the 'risk assessment' that I personally find bizarre. How is this more dangerous than actually walking out of the carpark to the shops? In my opinion it isn't the likes of me who is overly risk averse, it is the posters that are too afraid to bring their babies with them If I felt that afraid, I think I would stay at home!

Unlike most posters on this thread, I haven't actually dwelled on 'risk assessing' whether to leave small children in the car - it is just instinct to me to bring them and makes most sense when they need to get out anyway to come with me shopping.

MissDuke · 27/05/2016 06:30

I am actually surprised at people who don't leave the baby in the car while they get the ticket. Or pay for petrol.
Why make life that complicated?

I don't see it as complicated, surely you get them out at some stage Does it really matter when? I really don't see what the fuss is about!

LyndaNotLinda · 27/05/2016 07:35

What do you do with the baby when you're sticking the ticket on the windscreen?

I'm shouting now because my question is being ignored. MissDuke?

Marty85 · 27/05/2016 08:42

Yes I've left my babies in the car whilst getting a ticket, watching the car at all times. I didn't at first with my eldest dd, nope whilst in the grip of first time mum panic I'd haul her out even whilst paying for petrol. Soon learnt though that calm, sendible mum is much better than sweating, huffing crazy mum. Why do people have to throw this kind of guilt around, the majority of us adore our kids and are just making it up as we go along. Mine are 11 and 14 and still breathing.

MerilwenRose · 27/05/2016 08:47

I leave DD in a the car to get the ticket, but lock the doors and deliberately park very close to the machine. If it was further, there was a queue, or it was a really hot day, I'd probably take her with me. Totally depends on the situation!

Hodooooooooor · 27/05/2016 09:35

Many many posters have said it is too dangerous to walk babies and toddlers over to the ticket machine. This is the 'risk assessment' that I personally find bizarre

It's not bizarre, you've understood wrong. Not one person said that it is TOO dangerous to take them to the ticket machine. Many said that it was MORE dangerous than leaving them in the car.
Which it is. Neither is actually dangerous at all, but the higher risk would be in the car park rather than in the car.

Not bizarre at all.

Squiff15 · 27/05/2016 10:53

Those who leave a LO in the car while grabbing a ticket/trolly/paying for petrol don't think crossing a car park/garage forecourt is hugely dangerous! They can however recognize that there is a small risk in doing this just like there is a small risk when leaving a child for a minute or two in a car. We are not in fear of crossing a car park BUT neither are we in fear of taking our eyes of a baby for one minute.

For me I would leave mine before he could undo his carseat straps/seatbelt once he could I would take him with me as he might fiddle with the handbrake or open the front doors, now he is older I will leave him again unless he asks to come as he knows not to do this.

RandyMagnum · 27/05/2016 14:26

Glad I've never encountered someone taking a child out of their car only to pay for petrol, would piss me off to no end if I was stuck waiting for a pump and someone decided to pull that shit.

squizita · 27/05/2016 15:07

Lazy parenting

Herein lies the fallacy: parenting is results focused (or should be).
What matters is are DC safe/happy/healthy as far as possible.
You can be the most po-faced MN bore, working your backside off or some floaty woo hippy or a coffee guzzling working mum or lazy and provided they are safe/happy/healthy you don't have to worry, all good.

Life's tough: some people have a harder time than others, some have harder kids than others.

But work for work's sake is almost always more for other judgey pants adults than the kids.

LyndaNotLinda · 27/05/2016 15:38

I'm going to assume that the deafening silence means you all leave your babies behind the car in their pushchairs while you stick the ticket in your windscreen.

FFS such poor risk evaluation makes me despair.

Hodooooooooor · 27/05/2016 16:16

I'm going to assume that the deafening silence means you all leave your babies behind the car in their pushchairs while you stick the ticket in your windscreen
Why would they be specifically behind the car? They could be to the front, the side, sitting on top of the car for all you know. On the pavement, on a path, in a sling on your back.

If you're going to get judgy you should make sure you know what you are judging about.

LyndaNotLinda · 27/05/2016 16:56

I'm only assuming that because no one has answered and figured that was why.

In most car parks, there isn't any room to put the buggy next to the car or in front of it.

LyndaNotLinda · 27/05/2016 16:58

My point is that if you're going to leave your baby on its own, it's probably safer inside the car than anywhere else.

Hodooooooooor · 27/05/2016 16:59

Thats true, but you've made a big leap there. There are many types of car parks, and car parking situations.
No-one answered because no-one cared enough about the question. The relative risk to the baby in a pram for the ten seconds it would take to put the ticket in the front is inconsequential.

MissDuke · 27/05/2016 22:06

I'm going to assume that the deafening silence means you all leave your babies behind the car in their pushchairs while you stick the ticket in your windscreen

Apologies for going to work I already answered - I said this is no different to when you put baby in buggy then reach in for your coat/bag etc. I cannot see a difference? Anyway since you are so desperate to know what I did, I had baby strapped to me in a sling, I rarely used a buggy. As they got bigger, they just stood beside me. It honestly isn't that complicated!

MissDuke · 27/05/2016 22:07

Those who leave a LO in the car while grabbing a ticket/trolly/paying for petrol don't think crossing a car park/garage forecourt is hugely dangerous!

You clearly haven't read this thread or others like it!

BerylStreep · 30/05/2016 10:20

Some of the posts on this thread are bonkers. You know who you are.

Hodooooooooor · 30/05/2016 15:30

MissDuke, clearly YOU haven't actually read it.
Do you always confuse the word MORE with Very or Hugely?

Ldnmum2015 · 11/06/2016 10:57

metro.co.uk/2016/06/02/woman-slams-parents-for-leaving-newborn-in-hot-car-while-shopping-5918764/?iframe=true&preview=true

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-36482405

A bit of food for thought, last week got slammed down, called unhinged, neurotic blah blah blah by posters on here who seemed to think it ok to just leave your baby in the car for a few minutes, my opinion has not changed, you just don't do it, there are no excuses.

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