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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Unwanted Gift

101 replies

TransvisionTramp · 23/05/2016 12:51

I held a class party yesterday for DD, and she received a gift from one of her classmates that we had given them a few weeks ago.
I think it's quite funny and she likes it, so all's well (but note to parents, if you are going to recycle a gift, probably not a good idea to give it back to the person who bought it in the first place ).
DH thinks it's outrageous and rude of the parents.
What does mumsnet think?

OP posts:

Sukebind · 23/05/2016 12:54

Are you sure it's the exact same item? I mean, is it possible that the child liked it so much she bought the same for your child?

PinkFluffiUnicorn · 23/05/2016 12:56

I recycle gifts, maybe they got a few of the same gifts and just didn't realise it had came from you.

GoofyIsACow · 23/05/2016 12:57

I think it's pretty funny! I am sure she didn't mean to be rude, she would probably be mortified if she realised.

Pinkheart5915 · 23/05/2016 12:57

Your DD likes it so it's ok. Although the parents could of given it too someone that hadn't brought it.

I remember my grandparents years ago at Christmas they gave the neighbours daughter (who was 24) a leather address book and they got it wrapped up from her the following year with address written in it of people they didn't know

Footle · 23/05/2016 12:59

Buy your DH a grip. Wrap it up nicely.

Itsaplayonwords · 23/05/2016 13:00

Maybe it wasn't unwanted. Maybe they got two of the same gift and, depending on the age of your DD, maybe they thought she helped choose it and liked it so it would be an appropriate gift back. Although it's probably more likely that they forgot it came from you in the first place.

curren · 23/05/2016 13:01

Ds (5) and his best friend at school have the same birthday and we have their parties a week apart. The best friend got ds the Lego X-wing. And when his friend gave him it he kept saying he really wanted one too.

So I bought him a Lego X-wing at his party. Certainly wasn't recycled.

SabineUndine · 23/05/2016 13:03

It's possible she already had one, or they got two?

EssentialHummus · 23/05/2016 13:07

I am OK with re-gifting, though obviously there's a need to be careful not to bounce the gift right back to the giver.

In this case there are other explanations for it, as PP have said.

GasLightShining · 23/05/2016 13:11

Used to re-gift quite often when DC were younger as duplicates were common

My mother gave my DD something which I had given to her

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 23/05/2016 13:13

Hahah Pinkheart that's brilliant.

I didn't think that they might have bought the same thing for us, but I suspect it was ours. They originally couldn't come to the party but changed their mind last minute the evening before and the party was 10am on Sun. .
Either way it's fine, not being snarky I found it quite amusing and thought it would give some of you a laugh.

OP posts:

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 23/05/2016 13:14

Also - yes possibly she had duplicates.

OP posts:

BiddyPop · 23/05/2016 13:18

My DAunt intentionally did that to me a couple of Christmases ago - I ALWAYS get a set of smelly bath stuff from her, and DH gets a bottle of wine - but we got a board game we'd given her family the previous year that time. And then back to smellies and wine. (I always make DH share!).

But we've had duplication of gifts arriving here, and quite probably regifting in both directions amongst DCs class. It doesn't bother us - as long as the relevant DC has a present that they would like, and spares don't go to waste.

Toddzoid · 23/05/2016 13:20

Probably a duplicate thing. A lot of people keep things like that on reserve for other people's birthdays. I doubt they realised it was from you, anyone with a conscience wouldn't regift the item back to the giver! They'd probably be embarrassed if they realised.

I wouldn't fret about it at all. It's not that rude either, just one of those things.

Toddzoid · 23/05/2016 13:21

My Nan is always giving away stuff she doesn't use to people. I usually get a pile of toiletries. I once got a set I'd bought her for Christmas. She didn't realise at all and I didn't care. It was a nice set actually, I was quite happy to have my money back

BiddyPop · 23/05/2016 13:24

BTW - I laughed at DAunt doing it - as it was a particular game I thought her DSDs would enjoy as a family but DAunt obviously took as a comment on their family dynamic! I don't care, its a good game!

BillBrysonsBeard · 23/05/2016 13:25

Agree with you OP, not a big deal but pretty funny! I kinda think that it was their gift to give. I used to worry about choosing presents that my nieces and nephews already had, but then thought that it's the act of giving that counts, who cares if they already have it.. They can re-gift or sell.. It's theirs to do what they choose with. The giving of the gift was still much appreciated and acknowledged.

nitsparty · 23/05/2016 13:27

not a major incident, I know, but what about Not Hurting People's Feelings? Does this count for nothing these days? Please let it be an oversight. It's hard to keep track of all the tat that your kids get given.

blindsider · 23/05/2016 13:36

It's hard to keep track of all the tat that your kids get given.

This

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 23/05/2016 13:40

Oh I'll definitely thank her when I see her at pick up. Like I said DD likes it - it's all good.
I'm not fretting at all, and really do think it's quite funny.
I'm also enjoying reading all the comments about Aunts and Nans regifting .

OP posts:

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/05/2016 13:40

I don't suppose it was done deliberately. Can be hard to keep track of who gave what, esp. with a lot of kids at a party. Having said that I think a lot of kids do get too much. My SIngaporean SiL, 3 still fairly young children who get inundated on their birthdays, makes them give half their presents of toys away, I think to an orphanage. That's probably going a bit far, but the kids accept it.

Friend of mine used to get a frumpy sort of nightie from her MiL every Christmas. One year she gave her Mil what she thought was a nice new nightie, not a recycled one. And lo, it came right back to her the following year.😀

OutToGetYou · 23/05/2016 13:45

No big deal - I keep a present cupboard for such situations, topping up with things for people I may well have to buy for, and if I get a gift I don't want that goes in there too. If a gift is needed at short notice there's usually something suitable.

The friend probably didn't tell her mum who the thing was from (if she could even remember, you know what kids are like).

Fatcakes · 23/05/2016 13:45

My MIL regifted to me a photo album I had given to her 10 years before. It was better than the balloon modelling kit and freezer clips from her the Christmas before though.

OutToGetYou · 23/05/2016 13:45

dss (15) and his mates al just give each other a £10 note in a card now - I suggested we mark it and check if it's the same one being passed around!

momb · 23/05/2016 13:46

DD (11) opening presents at her birthday party. Opens gift from A and says 'Thanks, I love this, got one just like last year from B and it was great!' at precisely the same moment as B says 'I've got you one of those as well, we give them to everyone...didn't I give that one to you A?'

I would have thought it a coincidence if B hadn't written inside it (it's a craft kit designer type thing) and A hadn't noticed. B's Mum must be buying in job-lots: 3 of them between 2 girls in one year!

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