Page 2 | Unwanted Gift

TransvisionTramp · 2016-05-23T11:51:07+00:00

I held a class party yesterday for DD, and she received a gift from one of her classmates that we had given them a few weeks ago. I think it's quite funny and she likes it, so all's well (but note to parents, if you are going to recycle a gift, probably not a good idea to give it back to the person who bought it in the first place [blush]). DH thinks it's outrageous and rude of the parents. What does mumsnet think?

Blackduck · 23/05/2016 14:02

I have no problem with re-gifting IF it is done with thought and consideration. My sil would appear to just wrap up absolutely anything and give it my ds. So he's had years (I would say every present ever) of things either her ds doesn't like/want or she thinks is unsuitable. This year she actually said 'it's not very exciting' (it wasn't) and I really felt like thrusting it back at her and saying 'well don't bother then'

whois · 23/05/2016 14:14

Its funny.
Everyone recycles gifts - there is no great drama in not liking a token birthday gift. Better to recycle than to throw away!

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 23/05/2016 14:37

OutToGetYou haha that's brilliant.

As this was my first DD it hadn't occurred to me to hold on to any duplicate gifts and re-gift them. I'll definitely do it if it does happen but might make a note on it saying DO NOT GIVE TO XXXX though .

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herecomethepotatoes · 23/05/2016 15:15

We have a box under the stairs of 'gifts to re-gift'. DH is a headmaster and parents give all kinds of crap!

We do have post-it notes on them with a 'from' on it to make sure we avoid anything embarrassing.

I think your DH is being a little precious.

Out of interest, what was the gift?

Liiinooo · 23/05/2016 15:24

Regifting is fine IMO but you have to be tactful. My MIL once received a gift from her NDN. When she unwrapped it the gift card inside the box read to "Dear MIL from NDN'. NDN had regifted MIL's present from the previous year!

MIL found it funny but I think it contributed to the approach our family have taken to gifts since then - we only do them for the children, or very occasionally if we see something absolutely perfect for an adult relation we might buy it and give it as a random present. But thank god, the Christmas gift exchange is a thing of the past in the Liiinooo households.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 23/05/2016 17:28

I buy about 5 of the same thing in one go for kids birthday parties. Saves a lot of time and effort. It's becoming obvious though how many of us buy our presents via Ocado....... They need a bigger choice !

Your DH definitely needs a grip unless an enormous amount of thought and effort went into it.... from him

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 23/05/2016 20:01

potatoes here's the irony, it was a memory card game

I thanked the mum for the gift and she commended me for remembering what it was!!

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Madcats · 23/05/2016 20:59

DD is in yr4 and probably goes to 10-15 parties/year. At least 30% of the party hosts get the same style present from us (though I have thought about whether it would be suitable a week beforehand). I hadn't factored in that these presents might get recycled!

DD is delighted to have a party with friends ...she's not too bothered about what the gifts are.

RNBrie · 23/05/2016 21:04

My dd was given a set of books for her birthday, each one had a nice personal message written in the front cover addressed to the child who had given the present.

I am all for regifting in theory but it's worth checking for personal inscriptions first

Pernicious · 23/05/2016 21:09

OutToGetYou

When I was at school, there was a set of lads that used to do that- but would recycle the card, and cross out the name of the previous giver/ recipient, and add the new names. After a few years, it was almost an honour for somebody to be added to the cycle!

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 23/05/2016 21:42

Well I posted this for a bit of a laugh, and I'm loving some of these re-gifting stories.
and I am definitely into the idea of re gifting now

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IsItMeOr · 23/05/2016 22:29

It's hard to persuade DS to give a present that he doesn't already have himself (although we're getting better at it), so it can leave a slightly limited range of options to choose from.

I was a bit confused by DS getting a duplicate gift from the same child, wrapped together.

Xmasbaby11 · 23/05/2016 22:31

I don't think it's that hard to keep track of the presents they get. I just list each present and who it's from as DD (4) opens each. Then I can refer to it specifically in the thank you notes. I think I might be in the minority though.

I wouldn't feel right regifting something but I would give it to charity without feeling bad.

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 23/05/2016 22:45

I do the list thing too.
But I just thank the people, either face to face it by text rather than do thank you notes. I always set out to but I never find the time (two DDs and a full time job).

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Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 23/05/2016 22:46

It by text? OR by text. (iPhone fail)

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Oriunda · 24/05/2016 07:02

Xmas - I'm with you. Immediately after my son's parties I open all presents, write down who bought what and send texts etc to each person thanking them. Close presents back up so son can open at leisure. It's inevitable we get duplicates so I check back with my list before regifting. I only regift to a child if I know it's something they would like.

Verbena37 · 24/05/2016 08:21

It's hard to keep track of all the tat that your kids get given.

Why?
At Christmas or birthdays, we keep a bit of paper or use the Notes section on iPad and write down who each present is from so the kids can then write their thank you notes.

Thank you notes don't seem to be done now either, which is plain rude.
However, the girl at your DDs party perhaps already had the present you gave her or didn't know it was from you so that is quite funny.

Verbena37 · 24/05/2016 08:22

that wasn't supposed to say tat, it was supposed to say that but how ironic!!

Verbena37 · 24/05/2016 08:23

Oops, that was someone else's quote so guessing it was supposed to say tat

countrybump · 24/05/2016 10:37

I had to fess up about not liking some bath bombs my MIL had given me. In my village there is a charity auction of unwanted presents early in the New Year. I live the other side of the country to my ILs so thought I would be safe to hand in the bath bombs.

It backfired though when they visited us and offered to have DS for the day while I worked. They went out for a walk, and this being a friendly village, ended up chatting with someone who told them they were on the way to a charity auction.

My MIL is very sweet, and on seeing the bath bombs she placed the winning bid. I came home to find them in my living room and my MIL proudly telling me she had spotted them and knew how much I liked them......

I told her the truth. Luckily she found it highly amusing and there have been no more bath bombs as gifts!

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 24/05/2016 12:06

countrybump haha brilliant!

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TheFlyingFauxPas · 24/05/2016 12:08

One Christmas I opened a present from my dsis and had to laugh. It was the book I'd bought and read from a charity shop and lent to her a while ago as I thought she'd like it

Adarajames · 24/05/2016 12:28

We coloured in th centre of some letters on vouchers me year as thought they were just circling the family as regifts, and sure enough, exact same vouchers ended up back with us the next year!

tootyflooty · 24/05/2016 13:26

my sil gave me some body shop smellies for Christmas a few years ago, I like body shop, so gratefully received, except the gift tag on the item was addressed to her from a friend, if you are going to regift, check lables!!!, I had a laugh over it with my DH, and I couldn't bring myself to tell her, but from then on decided we would no longer do pressies for the adults, but it is so obvious when she "buys "for the nieces and nephews that she is passing on unwanted stuff, just by the random nature of the presents. I think regifting is fine in principle, but not when you use it as a tight way to get rid of tat!!.

tootyflooty · 24/05/2016 13:27

my sil gave me some body shop smellies for Christmas a few years ago, I like body shop, so gratefully received, except the gift tag on the item was addressed to her from a friend, if you are going to regift, check lables!!!, I had a laugh over it with my DH, and I couldn't bring myself to tell her, but from then on decided we would no longer do pressies for the adults, but it is so obvious when she "buys "for the nieces and nephews that she is passing on unwanted stuff, just by the random nature of the presents. I think regifting is fine in principle, but not when you use it as a tight way to get rid of tat!!.