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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Unwanted Gift

101 replies

TransvisionTramp · 23/05/2016 12:51

I held a class party yesterday for DD, and she received a gift from one of her classmates that we had given them a few weeks ago.
I think it's quite funny and she likes it, so all's well (but note to parents, if you are going to recycle a gift, probably not a good idea to give it back to the person who bought it in the first place ).
DH thinks it's outrageous and rude of the parents.
What does mumsnet think?

OP posts:

dowhatnow · 25/05/2016 08:50

Recycling by stealth is an extended family joke. There are a number of things that do the rounds. We disguise them and might miss a year every so often, but we carefully choose who the next lucky recipient will be. It has even been known for one or two to make random guest appearances under pillows or in other hiding places through out the year.

When my kids were small I ofen used to buy multiple presents in the sales. If other parents bought the same bargains then sometimes there was a glut of that particular thing. It didn't necessarily mean they were recycled. Sometimes they were though, as the duplicates were passed on.

Elle80 · 25/05/2016 09:03

I don't think it's a bit deal TBH. If your daughter likes it, it's all good

TeaandCake8 · 25/05/2016 11:18

I think that's quite funny! Could be a pp have suggested a double present/their child liked it so gave it again

(I did it one xmas with some smellie gave to a friend then remembered I'd opened them to have a smell so seals where broken doh!)

Pinkhousealreadyinuse · 25/05/2016 11:45

I'd love to regift but I'm too scared I'll be caught out! Looks like I shouldn't be after reading this thread...

80schild · 25/05/2016 12:53

I don't mind the idea of re-gifting so long as it is not obviously done. I will never forget the year DS was given a present saying "Dear Megan, Happy Birthday" - clearly the mother had no qualms about not making it too obvious and I did find that offensive.

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 25/05/2016 13:37

This thread is making me laugh so much. I'm actually all for re-gifting, i was never offended and just found it funny. I'll definitely do it if we're given duplicates will just make sure it's to the right person.

Salene Woah, that's a bit nuts! Quite gobsmacked at that.

scarednoob ha! That's brilliant.

innerturmoil why would anyone do that!?

littleladybird14 I think she knew she'd been rumbled

Sara107 that's just wow, really. Esp if she was only one of three guests!

BadLad no Transvision Vamp CDs were re-gifted in the making of this thread (showing my age a bit here)

OP posts:

magratvonlipwig · 25/05/2016 18:43

Regifting is fine. Nobody should be offended. I have a box of stuff to give away later, but i but a sticker on saying who gave it to me !

ample · 25/05/2016 19:20

We've given duplicate gifts of something that has been a big hit with DD but I haven't re-gifted the exact item received to the original gift giver.

We tend to make a note of who has given what present. With large birthday parties in years gone past, I've felt the need to keep track for writing thank you notes and it's just something we have continued to do.
It also gives DD pause to actually look at the present for more than a split second before opening the next.

Trills · 25/05/2016 19:51

Hidden Brain on NPR (a podcast that I highly recommend if you enjoy amusing pop-psychology) says that original gifters are rarely as bothered about regifting as we anticipate.

Ilikesweetpeas · 25/05/2016 21:35

My MIL once gave me a lovely Christmas gift, that I had given her the year before! Luckily I really liked it!

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn · 25/05/2016 22:20

I write down what my DCs have received and from who as they open it. Then copy it all neatly into a gift list book I have for them. (I'm not joking)

I always know who has given what. I find my DCs frequently get more than 1 of the same thing. I buy it off them and regift it. I check the list so I know it's not going back to the same person. Did it this year. Unfortunately it was something that was quite expensive and I wouldn't normally spend that much, it must have been bought in the sale but that cost me more than I planned. Was a lovely present though.

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 25/05/2016 22:31

I think the moral of these stories is to always buy someone a gift you'd like to receive

OP posts:

NameChanger22 · 26/05/2016 09:55

You could always wrap it up again and give it back to them for Christmas. It would be like the gift that keeps on giving.

specialsubject · 26/05/2016 10:08

Love these stories. And this is why I stress the ' no adult presents' policy, what a waste of time and money. Unfortunately we have one resister and I hate stinky candles..

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 26/05/2016 10:20

Hahaha special I hate Yankee Candles. Even the name annoys me.

namechanger she's already played with it a few times. She really likes it (I usually buy the type of things my DDs like, thinking that the recipient will also like it.

OP posts:

SlightlyperturbedOwl · 26/05/2016 10:29

On the basis that I often choose presents for people that I really like I would be very happy to have them re-gifted back to me instead of given away elsewhere!

FuriousFate · 26/05/2016 18:42

I do regift if we end up with duplicate toys but always ensure the gift goes to a child in a different friendship group. I think if you're going to regift, there's an art to it and I'd be pretty insulted to get back a gift I'd given to someone previously!

knowler · 27/05/2016 13:26

Re-gifting is absolutely fine if done sensitively :) So no old labels addressed to other people, try not to give back something the recipient has given you, no free samples, that type of thing.

I was however miffed when I gave a friend a brand new baby t-shirt which I hadn't got round to using with my DD and then saw it still in its original packaging on a FB for sale site. I thought that was a bit cheeky.

grumpymummy72 · 27/05/2016 16:07

For my DS' 4th birthday he received an obviously regifted craft set for 8 years and over from one school friend. For his 7th he received from the same child the present we had given to him just weeks prior. Tempted to regift the craft set back now it is finally age appropriate!

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 27/05/2016 16:35

Oh grumpy do it!!

OP posts:

2catsnowaiting · 28/05/2016 00:51

I regift sometimes if we get given something we've already got very similar, or it lies around untouched and unopened for a month after we got it. I don't mind people regifting to my kids either, I've never had something we gave back, and I'm pretty sure I've not given the same present back to anybody.

You do need to watch out though if you think people may be offended, remember that kids talk. My daughter once got a present from her friend whose birthday is the week before hers. As she opened it, friend said "I got it for my birthday but I didn't want it so we thought you might like it." Luckily DD didn't seem to mind (though actually it is an annoyingly long winded craft kit that I wish we'd passed on again instead of embarking on it and abandoning it half way through) So I do say to my kids, "Don't mention that you didn't want this"....

SoThatHappened · 28/05/2016 19:47

You're all luck you have so much stuff given to you.

Who the hell as adults gets given so many presents

I got nothing for my birthday

Libitina · 28/05/2016 21:00

One of my colleages is well known for recycling gifts. I received back the gift I'd given her for her birthday. I like it so not bothered per se. Just said to her how amazing it is that we have the same tastes in gifts. I think she got the message.

I just send my unwanted gifts to the charity shop.

Shadow1986 · 28/05/2016 21:06

Same happened here. Although I'd brought a child a nice t shirt and a toy, and we only got the toy back! It did make me chuckle, but again my DS liked it so no problem.

I think recycling gifts is fine but yes, do be careful you don't give back to the original person, it is a bit rude!

Original poster

TransvisionTramp · 28/05/2016 21:14

For me, the most ironic thing was that it's a memory card game

We played it again today, DD loves it so all good. I tend to buy things that I'd like and after this, I'll definitely do so more in the future.

OP posts:

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