to ask a really embarrassing question about farting?

[embarrasseddoesntcutit]

This is waaaaay too much information but I'm just wondering if this is normal or happens to anyone else...

Since having DS1 5 months ago I've found that when I fart, instead of it going out backwards, i.e. behind me, it comes forwards, as in between my legs. Particularly when sat or laid down. The really gross thing is if it's a 'bubble fart' (where it comes out feeling like bubbles rather than a puff of air - DH assures me that he gets both types of fart too) sometimes I feel one of the bubbles go up my fanny, actually entering my vagina! And even worse, when I sit up, I feel it come back out. It's gross!

Please please tell me I'm not the only one!

Can someone explain"bath back flow" to me please I've seen it mentioned a few times on this thread but don't know what it is.

yorksha I believe it's retained water up the cooch after having a bath...

Oh I see. I'm a shower person so haven't experienced this So does that mean at some point later on after you've finished your bath the retained bath water suddenly gushes out of your fanjo or is it more like a slow leak?

Yorksha I'm very jealous as you clearly haven't had post bath back flow if you don't immediate know the trauma from the description... #nicetightfoof

Immediately not immediate - juggling posting with brushing children's teeth AND doing a wee

3amclub oops - my mother definitely doesn't have one of those & it was her who introduced me to the term. I shall have to tell her. She'll be mortified as she uses it regularly. Haha loving this new info :D

X post - it's a gentle gush but quite often a few mins later - feeling similar to post coital sperm flow back - but with less (justifying) prior pleasure

LOL - The things one learns.

I get these they bubble and tickle. I haven't got a particularly big arse. Anyway reading this on the busy train to work I was crying with laughter and had to stop reading for a bit to calm down.

The bubbles are like a quick mini jacuzzi for the vag.

Exiting via the gift shop....

Thanks you. You've made me feel a whole lot better.

I do have a large arsenal but don't remember having this before exiting a bowling ball from my fanny. Bath backwash I did used to get, but not since giving birth. I suspect my vag is so stretched now that the water just falls back out as I stand up!

I'm having some physio soon as birth has left me with ishoos in me nethers. Maybe that'll stop it. I find it ick. Particularly when it decides to pause at vag entrance, only continuing it's outward journey once I stand.

I also get darts which eek up my crack and pop out the top. But less so.

Since having DS I've also found that all darts are loud. I can no longer eek out a quiet one.

What has labour done to me!

Foo acceptable lady alternatives include carse (self-explanatory), Humber Bridge (linking Grimsby and Hull i.e. the fishy bit and the shitty bit) or tinter (as in, t'int yer arse and t'int yer foof).

I'm sure your ma will find something suitable there :)

Arsenal!? Arse! Bloody autocorrect!

Weirdly, I get this during my period.

By jimminy do I bloody love it! So satisfying.

An ex used to called the bit between his arse and balls Nifkin's Bridge.

I don' t really do forward farts but I definitely can' t hold them in for long anymore, no one ( DH or teen sons are not allowed to complain or they get a londg description of birth and it's effect on female anatomy).

Even the Queen will experience this joy!

BillBryson treason!!

DD calls these sorts of farts mingegrumblers. We laugh so much when either of us do one we end up accidentally doing more.

While we're on the subject of guffs, why do the ones you do in the bath smell so much worse? It's like a concentrated meaty fartbubble rising from the depths. They are also the funniest of farts. Even funnier than mingegrumblers

I really should stop reading this. I'm sitting on a bus with rather firm seats and trying hard to suppress giggles because if I giggle i will fart and on seats like this, there is only one direction that fart can travel.

I had a long walk in tight trousers with someone behind me on the way to the car park whilst desperate for a gas release. I had to wait until I was seated in the car and it came out so hard and fast that the vibrations made my arse cheeks feel like they were burnt :( not an experience I am anxious to repeat.

Magnum at least you didn't just let rip like the man I was walking behind in M&S last week. Every step he took, he released a high-pitched tommysqueaker which smelled like overripe camembert in a rotten cabbage jus.

Btw I just canvassed DH and apparently men have an equivalent to the mingegrumbler - they occur while farting in a seated position and cause the knackersack to vibrate. Who knew.

I couldn't Quim it was at work and therefore work colleague of a sort behind me. Not a random stranger but not a friend if that makes sense.

I could certainly have done without arse cheek friction burns though.