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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask a really embarrassing question about farting?

112 replies

embarrasseddoesntcutit · 22/05/2016 22:42

This is waaaaay too much information but I'm just wondering if this is normal or happens to anyone else...

Since having DS1 5 months ago I've found that when I fart, instead of it going out backwards, i.e. behind me, it comes forwards, as in between my legs. Particularly when sat or laid down. The really gross thing is if it's a 'bubble fart' (where it comes out feeling like bubbles rather than a puff of air - DH assures me that he gets both types of fart too) sometimes I feel one of the bubbles go up my fanny, actually entering my vagina! And even worse, when I sit up, I feel it come back out. It's gross!

Please please tell me I'm not the only one!

OP posts:
DuckAndPancakes · 22/05/2016 23:30

This would be the best Daily Mail steal.

"Bunch of women talk about their farty fannies. Childbirth, large bottoms, lack of pelvic floor or prolapse? Our expert Daily Mail opinion is cancer."
It's always fucking cancer with the daily mail.

shazzarooney999 · 22/05/2016 23:34

Oh the shame of vaginal farts!!!! mortifying!!!! toodooloo

Kitsa · 22/05/2016 23:34

Ha I get this since having (C section!) baby! Not sure if it's a pelvic floor thing or just a being fatter thing.

shazzarooney999 · 22/05/2016 23:35

waves at mathew!!!!

SilverBirchWithout · 22/05/2016 23:37

Thanks Duck for this gem:

A queef (fanny fart) is totally different to a forward rolling arse fart that tickles through your flaps

I was trying to find the words to make exactly the same point. I could have sat here for the next 30 years and not have found the words to so eloquently describe the point. Smile

I too sometimes experience the bubbling to the front farts, for me it's nothing to do with baby delivering carnage to my parts (having had cs for DS). As someone suggested up thread I guess it's to do with becoming ample bottomed as I got older.

They are certainly an astonishing and surprising quirk of nature.

ManonCrempog · 22/05/2016 23:47

Yoga makes me queef. But agree that these aren't the same.
I love farting. It's fabulous.

BaskingTrout · 22/05/2016 23:48

t's always fucking cancer with the daily mail.

Or immigrants, or Labour (the political party as opposed to the act of childbirth which is actually responsible) although I struggle to see how even the Fail could work out a way to blame a family of Romanians and/or Jeremy Corbyn for the direction of my flatulence.

closingeveryhour · 22/05/2016 23:49

OMG. I have had this too since having DC. I had a tear and have lots of scar tissue, plus it all seems a bit rearranged down there.

I don't like it! But v glad to know others have it too!

Foofoobum · 23/05/2016 00:02

This may be a big bottomed thing but has anyone ever tried to squeeze out a wee nasty one only for it to appear at the barse region (where back meets Arse) and make the most horrific undeniably farting clattering noise? This only seems to happen to me in cafes and it's not really the kind of thing to be hidden by moving the chair a lot....

softjellyjunglecustard · 23/05/2016 00:08

oh God yeah, absolutely. it's like they can't bear to leave me without saying byebye to my fanny.

Also, has anyone else noticed after natural birth that their pee changes direction? i have to cross my legs to pee now else it literally just sprays squirts outwards like a fella,

whitehandledkitchenknife · 23/05/2016 00:13

Am rocking with laughter here. Nothing like a good fart thread. But ladies - what you are experiencing now is nothing like what will happen when you hit the menopause.Blush Joan Rivers had it spot on.
Enjoy.

houseeveryweekend · 23/05/2016 00:17

Yes! this happened to me for absolutely ages but it has finally stopped now 11 months later! I was really worried that i had a fistula or something and air was passing from my back passage through to my vagina. I actually think now that it was because i had an episiotomy and teh stitches fell out and it healed naturally but in a strange way so there was more of a gap at the entrance than there had previously been. It has sort of all gone back to normal now.

fatmomma99 · 23/05/2016 00:25

The Daily Fail headline:
Fancy foreign [f=brought f-here by f-migrants] food forces femails to fanny fart ? (or is the the Daily Sport?)

Duck - that's a fucking lie. If it were true my DH would weigh 8 stone, instead of the 15 he lumbers round between farts.

Sunnsoo · 23/05/2016 00:25

Where specifically are you farting, op?

This is mn, we have rules about which rooms you're allowed to fart in!

Pinkgeek · 23/05/2016 00:34

I can't breathe, I love this thread!

I've always felt a bit Blokey loving farts but not anymore! :)

I have this sometimes as my bum is quite sizeable. My mum would kill me for saying this but she must be in this flappy fart club as hers sound bubbly!!

SilverBirchWithout · 23/05/2016 00:35

Fatmomma I think you may be on to something there. I certainly blame the last Labour Govt and all that multi-culturalism and PC nonsense that we have been left with since. Foreign spicy food and garlic certainly makes me fart more, good old British farts just rumble discreetly in the right direction.

I'm surprised the Brexit campaign haven't brought it up (yet).

DuckAndPancakes · 23/05/2016 00:37

I shouldn't have checked back on this thread whilst in bed with sleeping DP. MAY have slightly disturbed him by guffawing loudly.

Then I did a fart (but I pointed my arse out the bed and lifted up the covers. I'm courteous like that).

Katie0705 · 23/05/2016 01:06

I have just loved this thread and have laughed like a drain reading all of the posts. I've not had children, but have definitely experienced the farts that take the 'long distance' route for escape. I recall one day sitting at my desk in a shared office, trying to discreetly release a little wind as I knew walking to the loo at this point would be a disaster. All I can say is that I experienced a fart that seemed to be released from every possible angle and I swear I had fart bubbles in my tights too 🙀🙀.

LucyBabs · 23/05/2016 01:15

Yes to the PP who said when they fart it comes out at the top of their bum at their lower back.
Happens to me all the time haha my bum is BIG Grin

LittleHouseOnTheShelf · 23/05/2016 01:49

duck that'll be the methane, be careful igniting it though, lady garden fires tend to be painful

HirplesWithHaggis · 23/05/2016 02:17

It's not exclusive to the ample bottomed. I am on the scrawny side of slender (been ill and not eating properly) and I get these farts sometimes.

I am, however, probably post-menopausal, as mentioned up thread.

BillBrysonsBeard · 23/05/2016 02:23

I am home ❤️
If only it was you lot I could meet at toddler groups Grin
This thread has confirmed that I must have always had a fat arse as I did this as a child!

ToastedOrFresh · 23/05/2016 04:47

LOL !

A true fanny fart is the noise of the air escaping during PIV sex.

Other than that, being large of arse myself, I've had bum and fanny farts for years.

When I feel fart coming on and it's taking it's time I think, 'um, where ya goin' ? Where will you exit ? Out of my bum or shoot up my arse crack and pop at the top ?

If I fart upwards, as I think of it i.e. up my fanny I try to stifle the giggle as it tickles. I hate it when it gets caught on the underside of the top bit of my vag. That's where it gets lodged and it's anybody's guess whether it will disperse discretely or just pop.

It's easier in the bath as I just let it bubble up where it wants to. I have been know to lean back to let it bubble up between my legs for fun.

EarthboundMisfit · 23/05/2016 05:42

Oh I had this after having my last baby! I'd forgotten. It did stop after a while!

3amClub · 23/05/2016 06:55

foofoo a barse is the area between the balls & arse on a man! 😂