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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In wondering what the point in a nursery is?

155 replies

Snowberry86 · 22/05/2016 19:31

Baby will sleep with us for first 6 months- so what is the point in getting nursery all decorated and sorted before they arrive?

I have found lots of boys decor and lots of girls that I like. But nothing gender neutral. So I'm swaying between finding out the sex so we can get organised, or not decorating the nursery/child bedroom until they are born and I can choose something I really love.

AIBU? Do I really need a nursery that is all ready for baby's arrival?

OP posts:
Canyouforgiveher · 22/05/2016 22:25

I have also had 3 children and never decorated a nursery. No.1 was in a rented 2 bedroom so we borrowed a cradle and put it in our room. Then bought the cheapest cot we could find that met safety standards and put it in the spare room.

For the other 2, we had bought a tiny 3 bedroom house. the eldest was in the box room, the new baby went into the spare room each time - same old cheapest cot (I hated it) in with the guest room bed. No one is scarred by it. they have nice bedrooms now.

I must confess I would have loved to have the money and room to decorate a lovely nursery. But then I'd have had to wait until my 40s to have my children.

SerenityReynolds · 22/05/2016 22:32

All we did with our box room nursery was repaint the walls. MIL made us some gorgeous curtains but otherwise, it's just bare walls and furniture. We spent a lot more time and effort decorating the other spare room that DD (3) has just moved into and that she'll eventually share with her sister. She's actually old enough now to appreciate it!

corythatwas · 22/05/2016 22:36

We never got round to decorating a nursery: dd slept in the spare room but it was only done up specially when she was old enough to request it herself. Nothing wrong with our love for her: we just don't have the same love for interior decorating.

SleepyRoo · 22/05/2016 22:43

Just vaguely finishing it off now - DD2 is three months old. I found I had much more time to give it any thought while on maternity leave - even with a newborn and older child to look after - than while I was pregnant and working.

PinguForPresident · 22/05/2016 22:51

It's just a bedroom. Whack some neutral paint on the walls. Get a cot and something to chuck the baby's clothes in. Anything else is just window dressing that merketing people tell you you need.

Neither of my kids had a nursery. We co-slept for 6-12 months, then they went into their own rooms and eventually (at 3 years and 2 years respectively - when they could express a preference) we decorated them into lovely kids' bedroom that they're still in now.

FishWithABicycle · 22/05/2016 23:03

Yanbu to think you don't need to decorate yet. Lots of babies are in with M&D for months or years.

YABVVVU to think the sex of your baby should be the chief determiner of what their room should look like.

RubbleBubble00 · 22/05/2016 23:05

We didn't decorate nursery at all (slightly superstitious). We just painted when dc was 4/5 months old

Writerwannabe83 · 22/05/2016 23:06

YANBU.

Me and DH got ourselves in a tizz about "making sure the nursery is ready before the baby comes" but he didn't even go in it until he was 10 months old Smile

MindfulBear · 22/05/2016 23:14

Btw on the comments re SIDS:

  • cot bumpers are a no no as they increase the amount of co2 building up around baby which has an impact on sids.
  • baby should stay in your bedroom until they are 6mo - something to do with your breathing and heart beat regulating theirs.
  • having a baby monitor - sound, video, movement - makes no difference to sids. It is the presence of a main childcarer nearby that makes the difference to risk level.

^^ However all of this is still personal choice so read the research and make up your own mind (lullaby trust is the best source of info I believe). Personally we could not ignore the advice due to family experience of sids and I knew I could never forgive myself if lightening did strike twice and I had ignored the guidance! But that is very personal to us.

paxillin · 22/05/2016 23:25

Also, baby will have no memories whatsoever of this room for the first three years. Paint it in your own favourite colour and theme if you must decorate now. Kid can then tell you aged 3 or 4 that they must have an ocean themed/ dinosaur/ unicorn bedroom.

Essexgirlupnorth · 22/05/2016 23:25

Our nursery was the spare room that was full of junk. We didn't sort it out or buy a cot till she was 4/5 months old and had outgrown the Moses basket.
It didn't get decorated till she was 15 months

HelgaVonHinklebaum · 22/05/2016 23:26

We just finished DD2's nursery bedroom about four months ago. She's almost 5. Years, that is. Not months.

Junosmum · 22/05/2016 23:33

We did it as we had a spare room which needed clearing anyway.

I figured we wouldn't have time afterwards.

We were getting new carpet upstairs anyway so we figured may as well sort the room out.

I wanted somewhere to store clothes, nappies, baby stuff, crib sheets etc.

Now baby is here I use it for storing his stuff- clothes, towels, toys, nappies, cotton wool, wipes, changing table etc. We wouldn't have room in our room so I'm really glad we did it.

BUT we have a guest room as well. If we hadn't, I'm not sure we'd have made it a nursery, more a room to store baby stuff with a double bed in as well.

Thataintnoetchasketch · 23/05/2016 08:32

I remembered yesterday what the point of a nursery is... we only have 2 bedrooms so now my FIL can't come over, stay up til 5am drinking & leave everything at his backside when I'm working the next morning. He had to go home & I woke up to a tidy house this morning (well as tidy as life with a 4 month old can be!)

baffledmummy · 23/05/2016 09:10

We had DD in with us for the first 6 months but we did all home feeds, nappy changes etc in the nursery. I'd read somewhere that it is good to get them used to their room so that when you put them in there, it doesn't feel like a strange room and they are familiar with it. Now that may be total rubbish (I can't even remember where I saw it) but she went into her own room no bother at all at 6 months. It may have just been coincidence though..she's a pretty chilled baby.

splendide · 23/05/2016 09:39

We left it as a spare room till DS was about 6 months or so (was useful as DH slept in there!). Then we decorated it and had it carpeted and DS went in at about 10 months I think.

Bear2014 · 23/05/2016 09:46

We were in a 2 bed flat when DD was born so we kept our spare room exactly as it was, then converted it when she moved in at 9 months. I never saw the point either. Surely you have more time when you're on maternity leave than when you're working full time?

Tubbyinthehottub · 23/05/2016 09:50

I'm in the minority here but I could not sleep with a snuffly wriggly baby in my room so he went to his own at 2 weeks.

Piemernator · 23/05/2016 09:51

Because depending on your baby you may barely have time to have a shit and shower in peace let alone pick out curtains and faff about painting murals.

Piemernator · 23/05/2016 09:54

Yo Tubby my DS was in his own room at four weeks, he was a real grunter and it kept me awake. He still grunts in his sleep and talks sometimes, feel sorry for any future partner of his.

NoCapes · 23/05/2016 09:55

DS2 is 6 months and will be in our room for the foreseeable
When he's ready he'll go in with DS1 - no 'nursery' atall

MissDuke · 23/05/2016 09:56

The first response to this made me laugh - you won't have time in 6 months to decorate a room??? Grin

Op I am with you on this, I never understood the point of people having the nursery finished 6 months in advance of it being needed! We never did with any of our three children. We preferred to wait until the baby was born as then we could make it gender specific.

It really isn't hard to get done, the baby will nap sometimes (I promise!) and you can do a bit at a time. It is fun!

OneMagnumisneverenough · 23/05/2016 10:07

We completely hand painted the room in a farm theme so suitable for either. DS1 didn't move in to sleep until he was about 10 months old but all his toys, clothes and changing stuff etc was in there so we did use it. DS2 never made it to sleeping on there at all as we moved when he was around a year and hadn't wanted to risk DS1s good sleeping pattern by adding him into the mix. They did play in there a lot though. So even though we moved and they didn't have it long it was really useful for learning about farm animals etc and as a bright play area.

KnitsBakesAndReads · 23/05/2016 10:09

We got our baby's room mostly ready before he was born. We wanted somewhere to store all his clothes, nappies, etc and that was the only room with space so it just made sense. We also thought - and I think we were right - that it'd be harder to find time to get the room ready once we had a small baby to care for.

Oh, and we have a nice comfy chair in there which I like to sit in to breastfeed.

Think whether it's worth getting a room ready probably depends on your specific circumstances, eg if you need the space to store baby stuff etc.

nonline · 23/05/2016 10:10

Pleased I am nowhere near the only one thinking like I do: Bit superstitious about preparing beforehand; dd now 9 mo and still in our room. Her room (actually hate the word 'nursery' in this sense) is still as it was when we moved in a year ago apart from the new wardrobe we store her clothes in.
Hate gender colour schemes and don't care for matching themes; we will eventually paint it bright colours and she may one day get round to sleeping in it!