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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In wondering what the point in a nursery is?

155 replies

Snowberry86 · 22/05/2016 19:31

Baby will sleep with us for first 6 months- so what is the point in getting nursery all decorated and sorted before they arrive?

I have found lots of boys decor and lots of girls that I like. But nothing gender neutral. So I'm swaying between finding out the sex so we can get organised, or not decorating the nursery/child bedroom until they are born and I can choose something I really love.

AIBU? Do I really need a nursery that is all ready for baby's arrival?

OP posts:
Artandco · 22/05/2016 20:14

Yup baby monitors do nothing to reduce sids

StillRabbit · 22/05/2016 20:15

We decorated our second bedroom when I was expecting DC1. It hadn't been decorated since the 1970s judging by the wallpaper so it needed doing and the carpet was gross so had new carpet too. It had my old wardrobes and bed from my parents house and we bought a cot.

Although baby was in with us until she was too big for the Moses basket, she had all her daytime naps in "her" room. When DS came along we had a loft extension done, decorated our room for DD (she was five) and put the cot back up for DS when he got too big for the Moses basket. We decorated it to his taste when he was about six.

foxessocks · 22/05/2016 20:15

We had dds room ready before she was born because I was excited about decorating it and it was somewhere to put all her stuff. We changed all her nappies in her room from day one and got her bathed and dressed in there. Sometimes I fed her in there too. Then when she was 6 months she went in there to sleep.

I'm expecting no 2 now and don't have a room ready for him but hopefully we will be able to do it before he arrives although I'm more laid back this time. If it isn't done it won't matter! He certainly won't care! Although my dd will probably demand that he has a bedroom since she loves hers

teacherwith2kids · 22/05/2016 20:16

We have always had neutral decor and colourful, rather than 'kiddie', curtains, and apart from a cot never had any 'baby specific' furniture (second hand chest of drawers, changing mat on bathroom floor etc). We moved a lot when DS in particular was small, and having 'a bedroom with a cot in it' rather than 'a nursery' made the houses we lived in mare saleable (and the one abroad was rented and couldn't be decorated).

Having nice objects - pictures, mobiles, wooden or cuddly toys, playmats etc - was a much easier way to 'decorate' the room, wherever we were, and evolved easily as they grew.

We still have rooms decorated neutral colours, and in DS's case the same thick red JL curtains, now they are teenagers. They've just each acquired a desk, different duvet covers, and a wholly new range iof pictures.

Grilledaubergines · 22/05/2016 20:16

Yes. It really is ok Brienne

KickAssAngel · 22/05/2016 20:21

We had a spare bedroom which needed painting so we did that, and put furniture in there. Then I did add some Winnie the Pooh decals, but that was about it.

It really was just a room to store all of DD's things, but I did use it as it was just off the bathroom so I took her in there each morning and evening to change clothes, and during the day to change nappies (and sometimes clothes as well) because our bedroom didn't have space to put her things in.

BrienneAndTormund · 22/05/2016 20:23

Well it carries an elevated risk of SIDS but if you don't consider the risk significant enough then it is ok. Personally I don't think it's worth it. Your comment about baby monitors suggests you weren't aware of the SIDS guidance.

teacherwith2kids · 22/05/2016 20:24

Grilledaubergines, I thought the SIDS guidelines were up to 6 months in a cot in the same room as you?

[[http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/reducing-risk-cot-death.aspx Here

Research evidence linked from here

teacherwith2kids · 22/05/2016 20:25

Oops. Try that again

Research here

NHS guidance here

It has changed since my DCs were tiny - 3 months or so seemed to be the norm then.

inlovewithhubby · 22/05/2016 20:26

Not read the full thread but we had babies in their own room from the get-go. We found our snuffly baby disturbing the tiny amount of sleep we actually got (new parents on exhausted tenterhooks waiting for next awakening with every snuffle and couldn't relax never mind sleep). Conversely when she was quiet we thought she was dead which was even more hideous! We got a monitor and popped her next door on about day 3 - everyone slept soooooo much better.

Agree with people who say you may not have time to decorate afterwards. We painted room in a neutral pale green and got a wood effect cot and change table. Kept double spare bed for visitors. That's it. No massive cost, little hassle. Small babies really do require virtually nothing - it's only marketing bollocks that tells you you need a room full of useless shit. Baby will pay the expensive trimmings no heed.

teacherwith2kids · 22/05/2016 20:27

(to be fair, my DCs were born before the research study referred to came out)

Original poster
Snowberry86 · 22/05/2016 20:27

Thanks everyone! I've found a few neutral bits but not much so think I'm best to do timeless walls (it's currently a horrid wet plaster colour as we moved in August and haven't got round to this room yet) and buy cot and furniture but will get cot bumper and bedding once we know sex. Crib in our room will have neutral white bedding ready for baby.

Ilostitintheninetys- it's only a small room! We have a study and then this room is a tiny bit bigger that that so my DH uses it as his man cave at the minute with his PlayStation in. It will be toy storage once baby is here!

OP posts:
inlovewithhubby · 22/05/2016 20:27

And we knew the advice but felt sleep was preferable to insanity.

Artandco · 22/05/2016 20:28

How can people bath baby in bedroom? Do you carry jugs of water in and fill baby bath there? Or carry a heavy tub in and out? Why not Erm just use the bath already in bathroom with running water and a plug?

teacherwith2kids · 22/05/2016 20:30

inlovewith - Oh I know, I know. Mine didn't sleep at all, ever or anywhere. I was hallucinating by the time DD was about 6 weeks old - unsafe to drive, fell asleep and woke up on kitchen floor holding the baby (had been standing up), whole thing.

Artandco · 22/05/2016 20:30

Ah can save you a purchase, cot bumpers and duvets are recommended either now as a suffocation potential

Artandco · 22/05/2016 20:30
  • are not recommended
Cuppaand2biscuits · 22/05/2016 20:33

We had a spare room thst was nice with natural neutral colours already so we literally just added a cot. We cleared some space in the chest of drawers in their for clothes and that was it. No new furniture other than a cot.

IAmAPaleontologist · 22/05/2016 20:35

I have 3 children and have never had a nursery. Numbers 1 and 2 we were in a succession of rented furnished houses and they slept in with us or tucked into the corner of another room. Ds1 was around 2 and a half when we got our own house and he had an actual bedroom for the first time. His atrocious sleeper of a sister alternated between with us and in the loft bedroom squished between a load of crap still in moving boxes where she couldn't disturb him until she calmed down a bit and went in with him! Child 3 was with us until he got chucked in with his brother after we sorted the loft out and out dd up there. They seem to have survived. They don't really spend a whole load of time in their rooms as kids and I don't think they give a toss what is on their walls for a couple of years at least and even then mine always played downstairs and only really slept in their rooms. Around age 3 I think is when they do appreciate it more and like having a corner to call their own with their own stuff.

IAmAPaleontologist · 22/05/2016 20:39

Oh and we've never had specific child sized furniture for bedrooms really, waste of money. Had a little table and chair from idea at one point which was downstairs and meant I didn't have to clear the dining room table whenever they wanted to paint or do play dough. Bedrooms have been a cot and straight to normal single bed. Book case/trofast/expedit and chest of drawers with a wardrobe added later whe clothes get bigger. Dd has a child wardrobe purely because the sloped ceiling in her room makes it impossible to fit a full sized one in.

HappyNevertheless · 22/05/2016 20:40

Because you don't know, you might well move said child into his room much earlier than you thought! (Dc2 had a very disturbed sleep with us until we moved him in his room. We were waking each other up all the time).

Also has people said, you might not move the child into its room for a while but there is no way you are going to decorate etc.. Once it's there.

I also suspect that the idea of decorating the nursery is coming from a time when it was normal to have the baby in its room rigt from birth which worked much better for us

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 22/05/2016 20:40

I predict your dh will lose his man cave and it will be taken over as a playroom, toy storage area very soon. Grin
Good luck with new baby.

CointreauVersial · 22/05/2016 20:43

We didn't call it a "nursery" - it was DS's bedroom.

There was no way to fit a cot into our tiny bedroom, so as soon as he was sleeping through the night and was starting to outgrow the Moses basket he was moved in there (at about two months old).

Dizzydodo · 22/05/2016 20:47

We called it a bedroom not a nursery and all we really did was put a cot, changing table, curtains and pictures on the wall. I'm glad we did as despite our plans to follow the advice about room sharing for 6 months DD hated the Moses basket and was quite a noisy fidget until she went in her own room at 6 weeks when we all slept better (with a sensor pad monitor), I was glad it was all done as decorating/organising was the last thing on my mind.

Spudlet · 22/05/2016 20:49

DS's bedroom is my favourite room in our house. It's full of things that people have made for him, or chosen for him. There are things I made, things that have been passed down - it feels full of love, if that's not too sick-making. No way would we have the energy to do any kind of decorating now!

Until he moved in it was a handy storage area, now it's a nice bedroom for him. We did a seaside theme, we didn't know we were having a boy but I saw that as a neutral theme.