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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In wondering what the point in a nursery is?

155 replies

Snowberry86 · 22/05/2016 19:31

Baby will sleep with us for first 6 months- so what is the point in getting nursery all decorated and sorted before they arrive?

I have found lots of boys decor and lots of girls that I like. But nothing gender neutral. So I'm swaying between finding out the sex so we can get organised, or not decorating the nursery/child bedroom until they are born and I can choose something I really love.

AIBU? Do I really need a nursery that is all ready for baby's arrival?

OP posts:
MindfulBear · 22/05/2016 19:43

We didn't bother with a nursery. DS slept in our room until he was 12mo. His clothes and change table were in the spare room. When we moved his cot into that room we quickly realised he could climb out so at 14mo we moved him into the spare double bed. Best move ever.

So no. You don't need to bother with setting up the nursery yet and you will have plenty of time to sort it out after baby arrives. Guidelines say baby should stay in your room until 6mo anyway due to SIDs (& our family have experience here so we always knew we would follow this guideline).

I BF too and found it easier to have DS in my room until he was 12mo. DH maintains we got more sleep than other parents we know as a result.

If I had spent time preparing a nursery before his arrival it would have been a waste of time!!

Mov1ngOn · 22/05/2016 19:44

What needs to be sorted? We didn't decorate for either of ours. It's hardly as if the walls had things falling off them or ripped, so just left them! Were in with us initially then a cot in their room.

We didn't see the point in decorating a room especially particularly and waited until they were 5ish and had some say. Even then it's been fairly organic, maybe a new set of shelves at one point, bean bag for Xmas type thing.

Pinkheart5915 · 22/05/2016 19:44

I think it's a good idea to do the nursery before baby is born as you'll have less time once they arrive.

When I was expecting ds last year we done him out a nice Peter rabbit nursery, we have a 5 bedroom house so not short on space I enjoyed decorating it. He went in his nursery at 6 months, his now 8 months and is in there every night.
I'm now 28 weeks pregnant with a DD and we haven't long finished doing her a nursery.

Thataintnoetchasketch · 22/05/2016 19:44

I'd freshen the room up now with some paint & get somewhere to store the millions of clothes & toys you'll be given when baby arrives but you're right, other than to get DSs clothes & pjs twice a day we don't use the nursery yet. I can't imagine having the time to decorate & build furniture now he's here though.

Grilledaubergines · 22/05/2016 19:46

Do it now and it's done. DC slept in their nursery (bedroom to us!) from the day of arriving home from hospital. I cannot imagine finding the time, energy or will during those first few months to do decorating.

BlueberrySky · 22/05/2016 19:47

I decorated DS's room ready for him. He slept one night in our room, then I moved him into his own room.

The same with DD, she slept her first few nights in our room, as DM was in her room. Then I moved into her room.

We had a baby monitor so no need for them to be in the same room as us.

You do what you want. Though if you do envisage a nursery all done up, I would do it before the birth. You will be too tired after.

Janecc · 22/05/2016 19:47

We bought a Moses basket before DD was born. The Other bedroom furniture afterwards. You don't need a nursery or rather bedroom yet and as you say, the room will painted and can be dressed later.

limon · 22/05/2016 19:47

I agree. We didn't decorate our daughters room - we put posters up etc when she was bigger

minipie · 22/05/2016 19:48

Going against the trend (and the sids advice, yes I know) but both my DDs were in their own room at night by 13 weeks, and earlier for naps. I'm a very light sleeper and couldn't sleep through their grunting noises.

No need for fancy decor though! I had a stripy blind and some storage boxes from ikea that vaguely went, and that was it decor wise.

Leapling · 22/05/2016 19:49

Not a nursery but baby did have her room ready before she was born. Stored nappies and wipes and tons of clothes. As mentioned above, changing mat either over cot or on drawers is handy. We only had room for small crib in our room which she grew out of at 3 months so went into cot in her room then. 6 months is advisable but not always practically possible and there's no way I'd be wanting to build cot/decorate in first three months so was glad to have it ready

HostaFireandIce · 22/05/2016 19:49

I never understood why you need to decorate unless the paper was peeling or something. A baby can cope with magnolia the same as everyone else. The only bad thing about our son camping out in the spare bedroom (double bed, cot in the corner, mobile over the cot) was that every time my mother came round she said, "Oh, isn't it a shame he doesn't have his own room". Now we've moved, he still has magnolia walls, adult furniture (single bed, chest of drawers, bookcase), but it seems to be acceptable now because there's no double bed in there!

minipie · 22/05/2016 19:49

Oh but if decor is important to you do it now as chances are you won't have the time or energy once the baby is born. Sorry!

AnnieOnnieMouse · 22/05/2016 19:50

If you do decide to decorate, why not go with stuff like teddy bears, aeroplanes, or something. I did our baby's room in fairies, etc. I said I'd redecorate as soon as he complained! We moved house before he got old enough, then it was done with aforementioned teddies and planes - I'd say, decorate it ready for him/her being a toddler.

liquidrevolution · 22/05/2016 19:50

It's not that hard to find nice gender neutral curtains and wall decals etc Confused unless of course you really want pink princesses and blue spaceships.

We chose and decorated ours before DD was born and im glad as i couldnt have faced it 5 months later. I was using the cot for naps from 3 months onwards. As stated a changing table was essential esp. as I had a section so bending was hard initially. Plus I needed somewhere to hang and sort the clothes handed down to us so I knew what I had at a glance.

But each to their own Confused

Notso · 22/05/2016 19:54

I've got four children and have never had a nursery as such.
DC1's room was done when she was about 10 months. Pretty basic as we were skint, we bought furniture to last rather than baby stuff.
DC2 shared with her from about 7 months until we moved when he was 2.
DC3 stayed in with us until he was 15 months, we had the loft converted to free up a room for him and DC4 who was born a month later.
DC4 went in with DC3 once DC3 was ready for a bed.

elQuintoConyo · 22/05/2016 19:55

We never bothered. Got a few cheapy bits from Ikea. Little bugger slept with us until 3.8 Blush

He has a big cow painting from a friend, some of his own art on the wall at child-height and some orange and green bunting draped between bookcases. He is now 4 1/2. He still doesn't really give a crap.

I'd like to make hima Lego-themed set of bedding for Chistmas though!

MyLocal · 22/05/2016 19:56

Well I did my "nursery" before the birth but DS1 was such a hard baby who never slept that he never used it. We moved out before it was ever used four years later.

Oh to be a mum of a perfect baby that slept through the night in a perfectly co-ordinated room with matching Laura Ashley bedding and curtains and a top of the range baby monitor with twinkling night light and relaxing cot mobile.

What a waste of money.

peasofcake · 22/05/2016 19:57

We 'did' the nursery before he arrived but we left lots of accessories to be bought until he arrived as like you didn't know what we were having. Things like cot linen you don't need initially if you plan on using a Moses/crib so I just waited. I focused on making it a lovely cosy space and used it from day one for changing and feeding as I bought a lovely armchair, we still use it every night for bedtime milk and story, it depends so much on you so only you know what's best for you. Good luck with birth & baby .

LadyReuleaux · 22/05/2016 19:58

Well it's all gender-neutral to me (in that I think most babies will enjoy any colours and pictures) so I just picked and chose bits I liked - mostly colourful, from both girls' and boys' sections. Though we didn't decorate or prepare a "nursery" as such. Just bought the stuff, like changing mat, bedding and babygros.

But as I didn't know what I was having, friends did send "gender neutral" stuff as presents. I remember one friend sent a lovely selection of things in yellow and cream with a giraffe theme. There's no shortage of that kind of thing in Gap, Sainsbury's, Mothercare etc.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 22/05/2016 20:02

If you want to decorate a nursery, do it before the baby comes. My advice would be to think more in terms of it being a child's bedroom.

Impressed you have a spare sitting room.

TerriblePlanning · 22/05/2016 20:05

We didn't have a nursery. DS never noticed.

CurvyBlonde · 22/05/2016 20:07

We have painted the 'nursery' a pale yellow and assembled the wardrobe and changing station/drawers but the cot is flat pack in the loft and we've still got the double guest bed in these so it's a multifunctional room, we're going to 'personalise' to the baby's gender as and when we want to, but only with a couple of things like cushions and curtains. Hope this helps. :)

MrsSpecter · 22/05/2016 20:08

We had a baby monitor so no need for them to be in the same room as us.

Being able to hear your baby isnt the only reason baby should be in your room for the first 6 months.

Artandco · 22/05/2016 20:13

I would say decorate if it needs doing, but don't make it gender related or babyish

A) you want room to last as long as possible. So make something that an older toddler/ primary age child will like so you don't have to redecorate for at least 5 years

B) if your planning a second child they could be born a year later and different sex

I would just do white, add white furniture, then all the colours will be added through stuff later like toys/ bedding/ etc

BrienneAndTormund · 22/05/2016 20:13

We had a baby monitor so no need for them to be in the same room as us

The reason they should sleep in with you is not so you hear them but so they hear you and regulate their breathing. In their own room from 2 days old is really not ok.