to wonder if NCT is a bit too posh for me?

[anyname123]

Hia, first pregnancy, I'm 34 and relocated to live with partner about a year ago. I have made a few mates in new city, but none have children. I'm due in October and just considering NCT as a way to meet women to hang out with on Mat leave. Whilst I'm hardly a scumbag I'm not very organic and middle class either, wondering if anyone happy to share their experience of NCT, will it be full of the brown rice brigade and a waste of a few hundred quid, or is it a good way to meet others in same position? Thanks in advance.

[byjimminey]

No snobbery about saying you feel out of place with certain groups of people.

[christinarossetti]

fabsmum - no 'reverse snobbery' from me. I found most of the NCT sessions useful, but couldn't sustain any relationships with the people there.

Not based on assumptions, prejudices or expectations, just that my life experience was world's apart from theirs!

[PegsPigs]

I did NCT and have made some fantastic friends. There's also a rival anti-NCT antenatal class provider whose coffee mornings I went to and made fantastic friends there too. I've heard good things and bad things about both NCT and anti-NCT classes. The group after mine I also knew from various places and they were absolutely not my type of people except one of them. And on paper they were much more my demographic.

NCT is a great way to make friends if you keep an open mind.

[KERALA1]

It's so valuable to have other people who live nearby who are all going through the life changing experience of having your first baby. Ok it may not work out, may not gel, but for many people the peer support is a lifeline. Ok it seems a lot but IMO totally worth it.

And drop in ocean to what you end up paying for after school activities for dc....

[laurzj82]

I wanted to do the nct but decided not to on the basis of cost and thought the fee would be far better spent on the baby once it arrived. I was worried about the NHS one because due to times of classes etc the only one I could attend was in a local town notorious for being very rough and thought I'd be by far the oldest and have nothing in common etc etc. Turned out it was fine and was a good mix of people.

If you're only doing it to meet mums with babies the same age I'd save my money and go to your local sure start centre. Ours ran a baby massage course which was not only free but all the other mums had babies born within 6 weeks of each other. I've stayed in contact with most of them. Also made some great friends at various other free groups like local church

[Acornantics]

I didn't do the ante natal classes but regularly did NCT stuff afterwards, meet-ups, events, coffee etc.

I met some really lovely people, some of whom I kept in touch with. I also made very firm friends with people I met at the council-run post-natal group, and local playgroups, who I consider great friends more than a decade later. I'd try as many groups as you can, you're bound to find someone you click with.

[SaturdaySurprise]

I did the NHS classes, which were fine. It was good to meet up with women going through the same thing as you at the same time. We met up for about nine months and then it dwindled (going back to work, moving etc), but it didn't matter by then. I also did the NHS postnatal classes.

I'm still friends with one woman from the antenatal class and our children are now 13.

[pollyblack]

Yes it's fairly posh IMO. I consider my self working class done good and everyone in my class was much better off/older than me (by about £100k and 10 years) but great bunch and still in touch 10yrs later. I find it very helpful to have friends with kids the same age no matter what walk of life as we all face the same issues. I went to the NHS class too but no one kept in touch.

[PortiaCastis]

My Mum paid for me to go to nct classes but i only went to 1. I was 18 when I had my first and by God did those bitches give me a hard time.

[unimagmative13]

I did NCT about 6 couples and 3 meet up. We live in a small area so bump into people at the baby classes.

To be honest it depends on you as well, I was desperate to get out the house as soon as I got out of hospital, I'm confident in the car and want to do days out etc. Luckily the other women were too. The others that don't meet us I found were ones who didn't want to leave the house but wanted to chat on the FB group we have.

I went to a group when DS was 10 days old and there were two other mums there with tiny babies too, we have stay friends (everyone else thought we were mad)

As for the meet up on maternity leave not sure I would get your hopes up, the classes started at 32 weeks, babies started arriving at 38 weeks and some people worked up till they dropped. We met up around 8/10 weeks.

[PurpleProsePetulia]

We did every class going,including NCT, before our daughter was born.
Yes, most people in my group was around my age (mid thirties), married and could be classed as middle class though I am assuming this as we didn't divulge our ages, nor income, over the weekend of classes or since! Everyone was very inclusive and there was a sense of being "in it together" and our backgrounds didn't factor. I jelled with some more than others but this is normal in any group. We have a Facebook page set up to rant, ask advice and arrange meet ups.
A friend warned me beforehand that the content was quite hippy dippy and to take with a grain of salt however it gave me an opportunity to stop and think about all aspects of parenting and birth. I wasn't keen on BF before the classes but I am now in my 5 month of breastfeeding and the fellow girls got me through almost giving up and cheered me on during the dark days. I am also an ardent baby wearer too!

What I would say though is to do a class near where you live. All my local ones were booked up and I find attending the meet ups difficult and I miss out a bit.
As an aside, the NHS classes in my area were brill and my real information (birth drugs, hospital policy and logistics) all came from that. I would do both.

[Stoodonlegoagain]

I went to NCT and it was the worst experience of my life. I was young, worked in a shit job and rented my house. All of the men were bankers and the woman were all managers in law/marketing. It was horrendous, I remember them taking a camera out of a bag and one of them saying 'oh that's older than lego' I said I was on holiday for the last session and they said to me 'oh that's the breastfeeding one so I doubt you'll care about that class' I tried to remain friends and we met a few times, the final straw was when it was my turn to host and they decided against coming at last minute as 'your flat would be too small for a child to come in' it made me horribly depressed. But if you are white, middle class, knit your own yoghurt type then I'm sure it'll be fine!

[Stoodonlegoagain]

Oh and I ended up with an emergency section and didn't remember anything I'd learnt when in actual labour so the classes didn't teach me anything either!

[PortiaCastis]

I ended up with a very quick delivery, my Mum wasted her money. I was back home the same day

[NancyJoan]

The NHS class provision here was one hour long session,which included a tour of the hospital unit, so I definitely needed to do something else, as I'd no friends with kids and few friends locally, since we'd just moved.

My group was not posh at all. I think everyone except one BF, but also more than half had CS, so not hippie earth mother home birth types. We met up for 6 months or so, then I drifted towards people I had met at other groups, but it had served a purpose by then.

So, my NCT was fine, not amazing, but certainly not posh.

[OhMrBadger]

I think the idea behind NCT is great but by charging a fee (when the NHS alternative is free) you are creating a sense of exclusivity. Sooo it follows that you will attract some people who are looking for that sense of exclusivity. So, if that isn't your outlook then it may not be your cup of tea.

One thing though: if you are introverted it probably isn't right for you. It seemed to me that hosting coffee mornings, lunches etc is expected and if you don't want to do that it can be tricky to keep any sort of contact going. Even now my group meet up for walks and I just don't want to be part of that.

[Ifiwasabadger]

Hmm. It was too lentil weaving for me.

[Fabsmum]

"But if you are white, middle class, knit your own yoghurt type then I'm sure it'll be fine!"

Umm, bankers, accountants and managers tend to be the least yogurt-knittery people on the planet!

[OhMrBadger]

I think our teacher was trying for the 'earth-mother, drug-free, natural birth, breast-is-best' approach but most of the group were there because they wanted to be part of an exclusive club.

I went because a colleague recommended it. I actually regret it because I found the early days with DS1 hard enough without worrying what this group of relative strangers thought about my house.

[Fabsmum]

"I think the idea behind NCT is great but by charging a fee (when the NHS alternative is free) you are creating a sense of exclusivity. "

How do you suggest they pay their staff?

I've never heard anyone criticising the Red Cross for charging for first aid courses! And they're more expensive per person, per hour of tuition than NCT.

In any case, the NCT offers heavily subsidised courses for people on low incomes.

[BertieBotts]

Look at independents as well.

My old NCT teacher set up her own company doing antenatal classes and I expect they are great because she was a great teacher.

I was a young, unmarried mum - it didn't much matter that I didn't have much in common with the others although I think they did stay in touch and I didn't really after the babies became toddlers, as I'd found other friends more local to me by then and it was difficult for me to make a lot of the NCT meets as if they were at one of their houses, it was hard to do with public transport and if it was in town they all had much more disposable income than me.

I found the ready made support group really helpful in the early days and I don't think the NHS classes offered in my area would have given me that. It was 40 couples over two sessions and mostly lecture format, no opportunity for people to mix whereas the NCT one was very heavily suggested to transform into a coffee morning kind of thing after it was finished.

[CottonSock]

I made some great friends in mine. We are probably all quite middle class I guess, but normal in my opinion. In our group was a same sex couple and a single mum so there can be some diversity. You won't know unless you try it who you will make friends with.

[OhMrBadger]

Of course they pay their staff by charging. The fact that they charge is not a criticism. Every one of us who attended an NCT course made a decision to pay so to criticise that aspect would be silly.

[Fabsmum]

"One thing though: if you are introverted it probably isn't right for you"

I think you've hit on something important here. I teach NCT but I'm quite introverted and wouldn't have found the meet ups and group bonding enjoyable when I had my first. I was happy to spend time with my SIL who'd also recently had a baby, and I was back at work quickly anyway and enjoyed having time to myself when I wasn't at work.

I really love gregarious people though! I've got a group at the moment with some very high powered women in, and one mum who is younger, less affluent and has a less high status job than everyone else. But she's the one who is drawing everyone together on the course because she's so warm and lovely. I feel really excited for her - she's going to be an amazing mum.

[aquashiv]

Personally I learnt more and gained more support from the local community groups I attended after birth. They talk allot of bollocks really. A massive industry in child birth. I wish I had spend the money on an extra holiday now.