to wonder if NCT is a bit too posh for me?

[anyname123]

Hia, first pregnancy, I'm 34 and relocated to live with partner about a year ago. I have made a few mates in new city, but none have children. I'm due in October and just considering NCT as a way to meet women to hang out with on Mat leave. Whilst I'm hardly a scumbag I'm not very organic and middle class either, wondering if anyone happy to share their experience of NCT, will it be full of the brown rice brigade and a waste of a few hundred quid, or is it a good way to meet others in same position? Thanks in advance.

[anyname123]

Thanks so much, this is my first post and I'm loving the support on this site! My fella works shifts, would it be advisable for him to book time off to come with, or is it pretty much woman led and the men are just there for show. I'm not really uncomfortable / scared of babies as I'm from a huge family. It really is just a way to make friends. This sounds like I'm a madding knob head, but where we live is a bit odd, for example my midwife said I'm the only girl on her book with a job, and I'm an ancient mother by local standards, so I worry that I wouldn't have loads in common with the NHS classes round here either....I'm probably a bit between both camps

[2ManySweets]

I would advise he comes with as they are very pro-dad inclusion at the classes.

Plus: he may make dad chums

[PastaLaFeasta]

Our was very middle class but normal, no organic hippy types, I was the youngest, probably poorest and breastfed longest. You are the perfect age - I was 27 and have a six year old so it's strange I'm only just as old as the next youngest from one group. But it will reflect the area you live in, our's being ridiculously expensive and unfortunately we moved to a cheaper area so it was tricky to meet up.

[DontBuyANewMumCashmere]

Another NCT advocate here. I did the classes before I moved to a new area, in the new area. On moving (at 36 wks pg, not advisable!) I instantly had a bunch of 8 friends. We met at least once a week from before we all gave birth, took in a woman who hadn't done the class but got on well with us all, and now at around 18 months we still try and meet weekly where possible.

Only 3 of us exclusively BF, we all had a glass or two of prosecco at our weekly meetups and ime it was a fantastic way to meet a group of people about to go through the same thing as you.

BTW OP if you want a gin have a gin!

[SouperSal]

My hospital forgot to put me onto an NHS antenatal course, so it was just as well I'd done NCT. I was the last to give birth (3 months between first and last) so seeing what came next through the others was fab.

We met regularly until they started school. 2 of the 5 families have moved away (over 100 miles) so we try to get together during school holidays and we do an annual holiday together each year too. Don't know where I'd be without them.

[derxa]

I went to both NHS and NCT classes. I made one good friend in the NHS group a Russian artist. We made friends in the NCT. There was quite a range of people in NCT class but all were MC. We didn't live in London which I should imagine was quite different. Baby meet ups (not classes) were horrendous. Lots of giant houses and boring women I had nothing in common with. A worth while experience and made friends.

[DontBuyANewMumCashmere]

If your DH's shifts can be moved then see if he can move a few around.
My DH came and it did make him more aware of a lot of issues. He also got to meet all the other blokes, and we have done a few meetups with the dads too.
Also when I stopped working and just started going on about so-and-so and their baby he knew who I was talking about!

[LadyAntonella]

I did NCT and am still friends with all the mums. Ours was fairly middle class I guess because of the area we live in, but not everyone bfed for all that long - one person bfed for 6 months but everyone else stopped sooner for one reason or another. Nobody used reusable nappies. Nobody eats or feeds strictly organic food only, though I suppose everyone eats it sometimes.

I would definitely do it. It is just the luck of the draw, of course, whether or not you will like the other parents, but it's certainly worth a go. Even if you only make one friend it will be worth it I think. It's such a boring cliche, but having other friends with babies can be invaluable when you have yours.

[PastaLaFeasta]

Every group is different in how they run and whether the men are expected. Our group had some mums only sessions.

You are more likely to find similar parents to you at NCT classes, although if they don't have enough interest in your area you may be advised to join a class in a neighbouring area, likely a posher one - this happened to a friend. In our area I'm unusually young, or old compared to the teen mums, it's unlikely for degree educated professionals to have kids under 30, housing being too expensive for average earners.

[StinkyMcgrinky]

After our first NCT session I remember crying in the car to DH that I was totally the odd one out and nobody would take me seriously as I was the youngest (26), poorest and a gasp renter! In reality the 7 mums I've met through NCT have been invaluable through my mat leave and beyond. I've made two very close friends who I still meet regularly even though our DCs are coming up to 18 months old. We definitely weren't all hippy earth mothers - there was one Mum who encapsulated her placenta and doesn't believe in giving her DS any form of medication but I think that's the great thing about the group. We all have our own parenting styles and there's is absolutely no judgement but tons of useful advice from mums about things that have worked for them etc...

I'm now pregnant with DS2 and think I will still lean on these Mums/friends

[liletsthepink]

My DC are all adults now but I would say find out if there are any NHS classes near you first as I found them much more realistic about what actually happens during pregnancy, birth and after.

[WinniePooh101]

I took the NCT classes and a year later we still regularly see all the four couples we met, they've become really good friends.

Definitely not a vegan, breastfeeding right on bunch but definitely older, our bunch are 35-42, first babies for each, everyone has a career and tbh everyone is well mannered, that kind of thing.

[Northernlurker]

I never did NCT. First baby I was totally clueless and didn't know about them though it would have been good as I was quite isolated. Second baby I wasn't bothered. Third baby though - I realised actually I knew nobody with a young baby. Friends who lived in another city had done NCT just prior to the birth of their first son and we happened to be at theirs when some of the group came round. Which got me thinking and so I went to a NCT bumps and babe group, liked it and kept going for the rest of my mat leave.

[eternalopt]

Did Nct classes with my first. Lessons were rubbish, but friends I made were invaluable. Having others going through the same thing at the same time was priceless. And lots of different approaches, but that helped with haring advice. There were 8 of us and we're still firm friends 3.5 years later. Been on weekends away together. So glad I did it.

[TheCrumpettyTree]

Ours were very middle class but normal. No lentil weaving brown rice types. Prosecco habits if anything. We met up regularly for tea and cake, it was great in those first few months of new babyhood. We're all still in contact now.

[RattieOfCatan]

Sorry to jump on your thread OP but I'm due in November and debating doing a course as I'm relocating in September, my DH won't be able to attend classes with me though, is that pretty standard?

My 'local' classes will actually be in a big town 30+ minutes away too, no NCT classes in the area I'm moving too :/

[derxa]

There was some talk of eating placentas although nobody did it as far as I know. When I watch my ewes eating their placentas I always think of NCT.

[TiredOfSleep]

Aside from from the friends, I actually found the content really helpful for the birth. It helped me understand my options and feel in control. Yes, I could have got the info another way, but I'm glad I went quite apart from the friends angle.

[Kitsa]

I am organic, brown rice, breastfeeding, vegan, and I found my NCT class too posh for me. They were lovely people but DH and I just felt out of place - they all had fancy cars and talked about their cleaners. There was an evening breastfeeding information session and I was the only one who went alone - DH works evenings and was the only one who couldn't go. I found it a bit depressing to be honest.

[MimiSunshine]

There are lots other options than just NCT its just IMO the most well known and therefore default option. Google antenatal classes and your county, loads of options will come up.

When people asked me if I was doing NCT they looked most confused when I said no and mentioned a different antenatal class (which has a different approach)

[MilkyMess]

Another NCT advocate here. I joined & did one weekend workshop (2 days, quite intense) when 7 months pregnant. Of the 7 other couples that went we're still great friends with 6 of them & meet on a weekly basis. We were new to the area & didn't know anybody with babies nearby...it has been a lifesaver.

Now our babies are around 6mths we're doing group swimming lessons, meet at weekly playgroups & have done weekend things here & there with the dads too.

All the dads (not all married) went to the workshop & they text just as often to organise pub trips...wetting the babies' heads apparently!

The absolute best bit for me was the whatsapp group we made as we were all able to message at silly-o'clock with worries, questions, funny anecdotes etc. Very reassuring when you're a new mum with no family close by.

Maternity leave (for me anyway) would have been a much lonelier experience without those lovely mums...& I would have consumed far less cake!!!

[LunaLoveg00d]

we live is a bit odd, for example my midwife said I'm the only girl on her book with a job, and I'm an ancient mother by local standards, so I worry that I wouldn't have loads in common with the NHS classes round here either....I'm probably a bit between both camps

I was that person too! I went to my scan with my first and was twice the age of most of the other mothers there, and was one of the three people not there in my school uniform. I was only 31, hardly geriatric. I couldn't find NCT classes locally at times when suited and we went to the NHS ones - and met some lovely people. My midwife who ran the classes said the stereotypical teenage, non-working mother didn't attend ANY sorts of antenatal classes in her experience, and certainly the women I met through the NHS parentcraft classes were much more on my wavelength than the women I came into contact with in the postnatal wards or at the baby clinics. Still in touch with three of them now even though we've all moved away from the place where we met in NHS classes.

[KC225]

Not a fan of NCT. Joined a class, only managed the meet and greet when twins arrived early. We were all kept in hospital so missed the classes. I was told I was unable to get a refund as 'they were a charity' but she would send me the print outs, actually I had print them out myself when she emailed them. A month or so later, she sent a list a of classes she was running on sleep and weaning etc., all costing over a hundred quid each. I asked if I could attend one or two as I had missed the NCT classes and was told 'no'. Soon after that the other mums included me further first time. I assumed the course leader asked them to include me. l met up for a coffee as they had all had their babies, they all seemed perfectly pleasant but they had a connection and bond that I didn't as they had been meeting regularly. And if you'd of seen their faces when I cracked open the formula cartons (despite explaining that after being tube fed neither baby would suckle) it would have been less judgy if I given the twins a quart of vodka each. I was never included in the meet ups again. l felt totally ripped off.

[Fabsmum]

KC - NCT has had a policy of refunding parents who book and pay but then can't attend because of an early birth, for a long, long time.
You were misinformed! (Unless this was about 20 years ago). Contact the NCT head office and see if they can sort it out for you.

As for the classes being 'expensive' - what do you expect to pay per hour per person? Outside London and fringe areas NCT is roughly £5 per class hour per person , inside London and fringes of London it is about £7 per hour per person.

The teachers have to be paid you know!

The bottom line is that private education is expensive. I pay that sort of money for group swimming and judo for my kids and wouldn't blink an eye.

[decisionsdecisions123]

Wow. From reading this thread the NCT sounds fabulous if you are working, not single, middle class and like prosecco. The website photos also suggest that it helps if you are white and not less than late 20s.

Sounds like some sort of exclusive members club to me!

And yes, all the people I have come across that have been involved in the NCT fit the bill nicely.

So what do you do if you don't fit the bill? As a poster said towards the beginning of the thread, she couldn't imagine what she would be able to chat about with a younger single parent (!)