Younger people calling older people 'sweetheart' is patronising.

[3dogsandacat]

I must be getting old.
In M & Syesterday the shop assistant (poss 30's) called me sweetheart!
As in "don't you worry sweetheart, I'll get you another size''
I'm only 48! ffs.
I obviously haven't been using my oil of Olay.
I was telling my mother about it, she laughed and said get used to it.

You will get spoken to like that a LOT as you get older.

I think she has a point. I've never heard younger people calling each other 'sweetheart' or similar. Only the older generation getspoken to in this slightly patronising, ageist way.
I suppose there are worse things to be called. But still.

I really don't mind being called ducks, pet, love, me darling -all of which are pretty local traditions, but I don't like "Hun" and would boil over if someone said "bless" which I always take to be pejorative

My dc have started calling me darling, sweetheart and Queenie (old northern term). It's not looking good for me is it? They are 5 & 7 and I'm 41but it's cute sort of but not when they are forcing helping me into an armchair!

agree about the 'bless' or worse 'ah bless'
It is treating an adult as a 'toddler' and is so very patronising.
It is usually differant regions that have their favourite 'I will call you this because I don't know your name' such as 'lover' in the West Country, 'bab' in the Black country (West Midlands) and the awful 'hun' on mumsnet .

In my last job I had a couple of male pensioners who'd come in once a week for a catch up with each other. They were lovely .

Why were they 'lovely'?
Because they were pensioners? A group of pensioners?
Surely some were lovely, some not so lovely. In other words, just like younger people they are individuals.

Older people are often described as Lovely. As in 'aw bless, he/she's lovely'.

I am 50 and I've started to get this from women as young as 18! It makes me want to punch their lights out.

Doesnt bother me. I have been called sweetheart by people both older and younger than me and also ducky, chick, darling and in Devon where I grew up a lot of people would refer to you as "my luvver". That last is dying out a bit now but you should have seen DP's face when a huge, bearded man who I'd not seen for sometime raced up to me, enveloped me in a hug and said "hello my luvver, I've not seen you for ages"

I think terms of endearment are nice :)

Though have to agree about Hun. Only one person is allowed to call me hun and get away with it and she was doing it in the mid 90s well before the trend crept in

I wouldnt say it was really anything, I might call someone sweetheart but their age would have very little to do with it. I probably wouldn't use the term at work but thats just personal preference, I wouldn't take any offence.

In South London, 'love' is pretty common whatever your age. My local shopkeeper greets me with 'Awright, treacle?'. I think it's sweet. Being called 'Madam' freaks me out a bit because I don't feel like a 'Madam' and it reminds me of being called a little madam when I was younger as an insult.
The bloke at the Tesco checkout called me 'young lady' yesterday which completely made my day (I'm 48 )

Since being soundly castigated by an earwigger for calling someone my own age 'love', I've tried not to feel too sensitive about being patronised by other people when they don't have any malicious intent. It is, however, annoying when the teenager on the till in Superdrug speaks to you in soothing tones that suggest you're 105 going on 3. 'Can you manage there, sweetheart?' - 'Yes, I can get one bottle of shampoo into a bag, thank you, fuckofffuckofffuckoff'.

I think the OP's right. It's the tone used when saying an endearment that renders it patronising (or not).

I don't mind Love or Dear or MeDuck if said in an everyday tone. But don't try it if it makes me sound like I'm in my dotage minus all my marbles.

I find being called madam an insult.

You cheeky wee Madam! Still better than cheeky mare...