Younger people calling older people 'sweetheart' is patronising.

[3dogsandacat]

I must be getting old.
In M & Syesterday the shop assistant (poss 30's) called me sweetheart!
As in "don't you worry sweetheart, I'll get you another size''
I'm only 48! ffs.
I obviously haven't been using my oil of Olay.
I was telling my mother about it, she laughed and said get used to it.

You will get spoken to like that a LOT as you get older.

I think she has a point. I've never heard younger people calling each other 'sweetheart' or similar. Only the older generation getspoken to in this slightly patronising, ageist way.
I suppose there are worse things to be called. But still.

going into Costa and being asked what do you want cuntface? Now that would be something to complain about. It doesn't bother me.being called sweetheart.

The only people I call sweetheart etc are my dd's friends (they are 6).

I work in a shop and it would feel very odd for me to say it to an adult. I wouldn't mind if someone said it to me though, I think it's just how some people talk regardless of age.

I once breezed into an elderly mans cubicle at work (hospital) and said 'Morning gorgeous, right, lets get you sorted'
I have NO idea why I said it! He was chuffed to bits though.

I call people love, darling, sweetheart, chick etc all the time at work because I am bloody terrible at remembering names.

It's not patronising or insulting and I don't just use it for people older than me

Is it Starbucks that writes your name on the cups? Oh what fun you could have there...

I'm confused as to why some people think it is patronising when an older person gets called sweetheart, but not when an older person calls a younger person sweetheart?
I'm not overly fond of fake terms of endearment from or too any age of person

I call people love, it's a regional thing where I am from (think north west) and it's not meant in a patronising way at all, it's mainly used in a friendly way by old and young alike.

But I do get that many people would find it patronising (now I've moved down south) so I make a conscious effort not to use it in work, but sometimes it slips out because it's such a part of my vocabulary. I would never use it in a way of trying to patronise somebody older than me, I would be horrified if I offended anyone who thought I was doing that when all I was using was a friendly/affectionate term.

Being patronised works both ways though, I've worked in retail for years and it used to drive me crazy when older ladies/gentleman would always defer to the member of staff who was older then me, even if I was already dealing with them and I had been there longer and knew the stock better. They just assumed because I was young I knew nothing. I've been called good girl a few times by the older generation which I think is patronising.

Zha Zha Gabor called everyone 'dah-link':

I suppose it depends how it's said.

'Awright sweetheart? What can u get you?'

'ARE WE ALRIGHT THERE SWEETHEART? WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF TEA? AND A GARIBALDI, DARLING?

I'd have said it was more the other way round. Older people using it to young. It's only a form of address, like love or duck, and really don't get worked up about it.

I think it could also be a regional thing. I'm Welsh, and I (and my friends and family, however old we are and whoever we are speaking to) say sweetheart, honey, gorgeous, my darling etc. It is part of everyday speech. I don't think about it!

There is a girl who lives in my street she says Hiya hen everytime she sees me HEN il bloody hen you she is 23 if that

A friend of a friend Huns

I work with the elderly and use 'sweetie'.

Sir/madam is a bit formal when you're dealing with someone's catheter and using their name repeatedly is a bit Flowers In The Attic and I hate it when it's done to me.

Mostly they're just please you're being nice to them.

I take it you are near Glasgow then... Aye heeennnnn.

My mam called everyone 'pet'.

Doll! I haven't heard that for a while.

Mavis Stirling why does the hen go on for so long im sure this girl was in primary with Dd and there she is henning me cheeky madame

Guy passes me in the street a lot he says awright Buddy

I get called sweetie/sweetheart a lot by older people as do my friends.

I did take myself by surprise and said 'oh sorry my love' when I accidentally rammed the trolley into an elderly mans ankles the other day though.

I hate the way young people say 'bless' to me in a patronising manner

yy to this ^^

I'm older than all my colleagues and senior to most of them but one of them responds to whatever I say to her with 'aw bless' as if I'm wonderful to still be able to string a few words together

Thank god I don't have to interact with her very much bless her

I hate the way young people say 'bless' to me in a patronising manner.

Bless is worse.

I don't mind endearments though, I think they're nice.

going into Costa and being asked what do you want cuntface? Now that would be something to complain about.

I think I would rather be called cuntface.
At least they're being honest and not patronizing me

I always thought it was terribly patronising to older people in care homes. Until i found myself in hospital as a young woman. I was so vulnerable and scared, and the nurses little pet names really soothed me. Like having a lovely auntie telling you it'll be ok, love

I suppose it depends how it's said.

'Awright sweetheart? What can u get you?'

'ARE WE ALRIGHT THERE SWEETHEART? WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF TEA? AND A GARIBALDI, DARLING?

Exactly. I don't mind the first one.