Younger people calling older people 'sweetheart' is patronising.

[3dogsandacat]

I must be getting old.
In M & Syesterday the shop assistant (poss 30's) called me sweetheart!
As in "don't you worry sweetheart, I'll get you another size''
I'm only 48! ffs.
I obviously haven't been using my oil of Olay.
I was telling my mother about it, she laughed and said get used to it.

You will get spoken to like that a LOT as you get older.

I think she has a point. I've never heard younger people calling each other 'sweetheart' or similar. Only the older generation getspoken to in this slightly patronising, ageist way.
I suppose there are worse things to be called. But still.

A male colleague calls me 'mate' I am

At work, I always address patients by Mr/Mrs/Ms never by first name unless they are a child.
Even if they say "Oh, call me Brian" it was something we didn't do at college (in the late 80s) and I haven't changed now.

I'd never use Love/Sweetheart/Dear

Someone called sweetie in a shop at the weekend and I did find it annoying. I desperately wanted to say 'I'm not sweet, I'm a right bitch', but I'm English so of course I said absolutely nothing.

Oh it is so patronising and belittling.

When I first got diagnosed with breast cancer I went cancer I was called 'petal' and 'flower' by a nurse young enough to be my daughter! It made me feel absolutely worse disempowered and insignificant.

I was a professional woman in my late 40 who manages about 80 people.

I could just about have forgiven her if I'd been visibly upset and she was trying to comfort me but I wasn't.

I am nearly 60 and in one of my supply schools a young teacher calls me "love". I taught her 25 years ago when she was five. Somehow it doesn't seem right and makes me cringe. I can't complain though as I say sweetheart, dear etc to little ones when I can't remember their names from my last visit. Not because I am too old I hasten to add, just that I might have seen another few hundred children in between.

I was about 10 when I was first called 'flower' and thought it was very funny indeed as I'd never heard it before.
In your position capsicum I wouldn't be so amused.
I hope you're well now

I'm half old I suppose but it makes me cringe when I hear sweetie, darling, lovey or such like.

There's a midwife on the current series of One Born Every Minute and she calls everyone lovely. Drives me nuts I'm afraid.

I think it's at regional thing. In Yorkshire everyone is called love.

Hate "babe" though, and the American ma am grates, sir madam, don't like those either.

I have at colleague I work with he called me flower the other day. Fab. He's from the same part of the world as I am and it just reminded me of home.

I call lots of people sweetheart and I'm 49.
They can be tiny tots, twenties,thirties, forties right up to very old.
It's usually if they have been particularly nice, sweet or if I feel nice and sweet towards them.
however, we all say love round here, even men to men.

Generally don't mind what people call me, although any 'bless' type remarks would piss me off somewhat, being older but still in possession of all my marbles and not one to take kindly to being patronised.

My exh calls women 'dear' or 'young lady', god know how many times I've pulled him up on it; both bloody awful, but then he's a knob so I wouldn't expect anything else from him.

I dread the day when i am old and being spoken to like a toddler. I have no issue with friendly terms like 'love' or 'sweetheart' as long as i am being spoken to like an adult

Doesn't bother me!

But I'm in Yorkshire and pretty much everyone gets referred to as love, mate or pal.

Or our lass or our kid, or petal or flower, or chicken!

I'm not often called my actual name unless I am at work and even then it's not all the time!

But most people are my age or older so not sure how I'd feel if it was someone younger than me

A young waitress in Cornwall asked "What would you like my lover?" I thought it was delightful, made my day.

I'm currently in Norwich for a job interview. I've only been here 3 hours and have already had more people say ' Are you alright, my love?' than at any other time in my life! I don't know if I'm looking particularly elderly today. I'm from London, so getting used to the disconcerting friendliness is already a bit weird without that as well!!

Some kid who looked about 12 called me 'my love' in Homebase a few weeks ago. I'm 37 ffs. I told him politely that he might want to consider 'madam' and not everyone likes 'my love' as it's rather familiar.

It's clearly meant in a kind and friendly way, so why take offence? I actually like to be called "sweetheart" or (in Doric since I live in rural Aberdeenshire) "my quine" since to me it signifies that the person has found me likeable. After all they're not going to use an endearment if they think you're a stuck up prat!

The new owner of our local newsagents called me 'mate' the first time he served me. As I was old enough to be his mother, I rarely go in there now unless I have to as well as the fact that he can barely drag himself away from his mobile phone to serve me.

P.S. The expression 'aw bless' needs to be destroyed with fire.

I second that.
The only time it should be used is when peering into a pram.

I dread the day when i am old and being spoken to like a toddler.

this.

I've decided I'm going to point out to the next 20 something who says 'bless' to me that they sound ridiculous. Of course, this will make them think I'm a narky old bat but I'm willing to take one for the team

I'm also going to ask baristas not to call me 'madam' - I'm getting a milky coffee latte not high tea at the Ritz!

In my last job I had a couple of male pensioners who'd come in once a week for a catch up with each other. They were lovely and I'd always call them 'young man' when serving. It made their day and they'd bring me cakes - got to be a result!

I am 50 and I've started to get this from women as young as 18! It makes me want to punch their lights out.

It's Madam to you.