Younger people calling older people 'sweetheart' is patronising.

[3dogsandacat]

I must be getting old.
In M & Syesterday the shop assistant (poss 30's) called me sweetheart!
As in "don't you worry sweetheart, I'll get you another size''
I'm only 48! ffs.
I obviously haven't been using my oil of Olay.
I was telling my mother about it, she laughed and said get used to it.

You will get spoken to like that a LOT as you get older.

I think she has a point. I've never heard younger people calling each other 'sweetheart' or similar. Only the older generation getspoken to in this slightly patronising, ageist way.
I suppose there are worse things to be called. But still.

Hate 'hun' and 'missus' though

Sweetheart to me is a word used on children or babies, not adults. So I would think this is a bit patronising and annoying.

Off topic but I thought 'garibaldi' was a person until quite recently. embarrassingly it only dawned on me in the biscuit isle of tesco

Pal - now that can sound quite threatening though.

Mate is rather irritating. I blame Nen Behaving Badly for that one.

Bless is the worst! I am probably older than most of you, and I get it often. I grit my teeth and smile sweetly.

My friend likes a bless it just sounds silly coming out her mouth.

Our md refers to most of the females as pet which is quite nice. I have a friend who uses 'huni' and another who uses 'hen' which don't bother me. I hate older people calling me 'lass' I used to work in an industry where 90% of the clientele were old and did this. My dad called women 'dear' and I had to tell him to stop as it seemed patronising.

I think it does depend on who says it and the tone sometimes it can be like chalk down a blackboard irritating other time its fine and it doesnt even register they are saying it.

I'm older than all my colleagues and senior to most of them but one of them responds to whatever I say to her with 'aw bless' as if I'm wonderful to still be able to string a few words together hmmconfused

Daisy, our HR lady is like that.
Whenever anybody mentions an older member of staff she says

'Aw Bless. She's Lovely!'

'Aw Bless. She's so sweet' has made a few appearances as well.

She never says it about the younger people. Only us old gimmers

I thought the Garibaldi biscuit was named after the person?

I will always use love as a universal catch all, I was brought up on it and would consider it dialect rather than a linguistic attempt at subjugation; I think of it as a solidarity word like "comrade" was to the Trots.

From now on I am going to replace pet with Jizzlips. Except for children I will call them shithead. Now Jizzlips that will be fourteen pounds please. Aw poor shithead I will get you a plaster.

Dezza my old manager used to climb into the office* every morning and greet everyone with a cheery

al'right shitehawks

I think you should adopt this henceforth.

*he used to leave his office window unlocked, park below it and climb on the roof of his car to get in. Saved him ten minutes every morning.

If that is the only problem in your life then fine..but I would rather worry about stuff that matters in my life.

I have been called 'poppet' by a man young enough to be my son who worked in a local shop..but then again he called all women it.

I work in retail. 'me dear' is one of mine..

I have been called 'little Feck', darling, sweetheart..all by my manager..

It's not the only problem in my life
Sometimes its nice to talk about things that are mildly annoying.

Yes, Garibaldi is named after a person.

So is the Bourbon.

I had a team member who would address us as she left the office 'alright shitheads, see you later'.

Here in sunny northwest most people say hi love or sorry love or OK love especially if people don't know your name x

I'm noticing it more and more. I'm mid 50's and till recently looked a lot younger than my age. Now though, I have noticed I look, well - late middle age. I get called love when I'm shopping and usually get offered help getting my case on and off the luggage rack on trains. This never happened till recently. I'm really glad of the help because my wrists are really sore but things like this along with being called love and being smiled at sweetly, are a reminder that i'm on my way to old age. And it does feel a bit sad.

I have called elderly patients sweetheart before and as soon as it leaves my mouth I regret it.

They didn't seem to mind, and it was said when they were upset and scared but I realise it can come across as patronising so I am aware of it and try not to say it, but it does slip out occasionally.

I work with the elderly and constantly call them darlin' or lovie. As a Devonian It is the norm vernacular to use endearments instead of names. My childhood was filled with older generations using the ubiquitous phrase "alright my lover" . I never took offence.
The older generation I work with take it as is. Only those from up north (ie Bristol or above ) sometimes have a problem.
Or if they are slightly upper middle class and snobby to boot then they tend to take offence. I never do it twice. It's the same with phrases like Oh God or Christ. You reign it it in.
I like it. I love being called sweetie. darling lover. It's better than fat twat.

In my local area I greet everyone on their own with 'Good morning' or maybe a comment about the weather. Reactions are overwhelmingly positive and sometimes surprising. The worst I've had is no reaction and they could have been on headphones, hard of hearing or thinking I was speaking to someone else.
Yesterday a grumpy faced old man positively beamed as he replied 'A'right, sweetheart?' A'right is the local default greeting by the way!
I don't mind what I'm called as long as the tone is pleasant. A young man in O2 called me by my first name (seen on paperwork) in a sneery over familiar tone and I wished I'd asked for the manager. I'd probably have found he WAS the manager ...

I call everyone something like that. Women usually get darling or hun. Men get mate mostly. I hate the word madam. Makes me feel like a servant. Men get sir if they are being particularly dickish. I don't take offence at it. Better than some things they could call me. At least it's friendly.

Yanbu

I've had love, duck, pet, darling, dear all said to me since I was about 16 - and lived in various locations.

Don't remember any sweat hearts.

I've always taken it as people being friendly - madam is more formal and defiantly not friendly . I don't like being madamed.

I hate ah Bless - but MIL is only person I'm in regular contact with who doe s this - at our children and older relatives or friends. I hate it as it sounds so very patronising.

I'm younger and I hate it when older people do it to me as a means of patronising.

However, when I was terrified and in for a colonoscopy the nurses calling me sweetheart was actually really nice and made me feel like my panicking and crying wasn't bothering them when it probably actually was.