Was DHs reaction unreasonable

[CalibratedNellyphant]

My DH is currently away with work and will be until the end of june.
There is a field at the end of our back garden which the farmer who owned it sold us last year. We haven't decided what to do with it yet.
In order to cut the grass DH bought a ride on lawn mower. He spends quite a bit of time polishing it etc
He has never said that I can't use it but he has never offered to teach me how to use it and he is the only one who has driven it and he likes to be the only one to clean and maintain it.

So DS is due to go on his first camping trip with the beaver scouts in a few weeks. However he has started to get worried about sleeping in a tent so I thought we could practice this weekend in the field. However the grass in the field was really long as it hasn't been cut for ages. So I got the lawn mower out yesterday and I had cut about half the field when I hit something and the lawn mower rolled and I fell off it.

I landed awkwardly and my arm took most of the fall. I'm sure when I fell I heard it crack. I called a friend and he helped me sort the lawn mower out and then took me to hospital where I found out I have broken my arm.The lawn mower is muddy and has a little scratch but it seems totally fine.

So last night I skyped DH and told him I had accidentally crashed the mower and hurt myself. The first thing he said was does the lawn mower still work. I said yes. He then went into this big rant about how I shouldn't have touched his mower and if he gets home and its damaged he will be really cross with me because he has spent a lot of time getting it perfect and I spoilt it.
He carried on for at least 20 minutes and didn't ask about me once.

In the end I told him to calm down and I admit asked if he cared how I was. He huffed a bit and said it was my own stupid fault and he was allowed to be upset about the mower.
I said if he was going to sulk about the lawn mower then I was going to leave him to it and he left the conversation.

He texted me earlier on today to ask if we are Skypeing tonight. I'm still a bit annoyed that he hasn't apologised or asked how I am.
But then am I being unreasonable I do feel bad about the mower but it was an accident and its fine and I'd like to think that if it was the other way around I would ask him if he was ok first.

I wouldn't text at all.

joint account money for mower=jointly owned mower. he does not get to dictate use of jointly owned property.

apart from that I can not find adequate words to say what an idiot he is being over it.

The mower is insured.

School run - no chance the kids can drive themselves there....on the mower obviously not seeing as the fucker broke the op

I'd be looking twice at that m-OW-er. Sounds like she is out to get you.

Family money makes it the family mower.

He is being a tw*t.

Hope your arm gets better soon OP

Skyping with the mower is utterly genius. Please do it!

Put a sign on the mower that says 'at least I didn't have to go to hospital...'

Just to lighten the mood OP, if the lawn mower was either of these I'd be mighty miffed to!

Did you cut enough of the grass to plant a tent? As you should make him stay in it from now on!

He bought the lawnmower so only he can use it?

Suggest he buys the next washing machine. 😜

Hope the arm heals well.

I'm imagining it's my motorcycle, which I feel the same about, polish it, don't like anyone else touching it etc....I can imagine my first reaction being 'is the bike ok' as clearly you are, as you're calling me. I'd then ask if you were ok. I'd then think that it was partly your own fault.
I'm not saying I'm proud of how I'd probably react, just that I do understand.

Yeah you really shouldn't be proud of this reaction.

but I do love your innocent assumption that if someone calls you up then they are "ok". life really isn't like that in my experience.

My DH, then DP loves his motorbike. He asked me to help hold it while he fitted an air filter or greased the chains or something - I forget. I have no upper body strength, he knew, and it is a beast XR1400. It fell onto my ankle while I straddled it, it needed new farings, mirrors and odd bits and pieces. The only thing DP was worried about was my ankle.

It's all about priorities.

I hope your arm gets better soon!

I'd be furious.

Did you tell him you'd broken your arm or that you'd hurt yourself?

Tbh I've had similar in the past. I'm hoping that it's BECAUSE you're hurt that he's had the reaction. Because you 'shouldn't' have been on it, therefore you shouldn't have been hurt. If he says sorry, let him off.

It may just have been a bad reaction to you hurting yourself?

Anyway for that arm!

Thank you all

He called me last night and told me he was sorry and that he was worried about me he was just upset that someone was hurt and he wasn't there to help.

Jesus christ, does he polish the mower with his dick?

He called me last night and told me he was sorry and that he was worried about me he was just upset that someone was hurt and he wasn't there to help.

And do you believe this? When he asked about the lawn mower rather than you?

He bought himself an expensive toy with family money but sold it to you as if it was essential kit for the benefit of the family.

He called me last night and told me he was sorry and that he was worried about me he was just upset that someone was hurt and he wasn't there to help.. If you believe this then you'll believe anything. Look Op, it's your prerogative if you want to return to rationalising his selfishness but you need to think long and hard about your contribution to your relationship dynamic. Knowing that he works away and that grass won't stop growing in his absence, why didn't you ask him to show you how to use the 'essential kit for the benefit of the family' his expensive toy instead of waiting for him to decide (or not) to.

Stick all the kids,in uniform with school bags etc, on mower and take picture. Send it to him, explaining that mower is now very useful for the kids to take themselves to school...

Get the DCs to take a picture of you beating in with a branch like Basil Fawlty.

You should both talk to each other more. Both of you have been weird with your assumptions, and this has caused you both a ton of problems.

Hope your arm recovers soon!

I don't really understand why, if he's away so much, he wouldn't be expecting you to use it to mow the field? The grass won't stop growing if he's not there and it's not like a ride-on mower is particularly hard to use.
We have one, my DH works away a lot, so I do pretty much all the mowing - if I called him in the same circumstances he'd probably cancel his trip as soon as he could to get home and help.

Hope you aren't in too much pain, your husband was very unkind to you and I'm willing to bet he realises this but doesn't actually want to truly admit it to himself or to you.

I love the suggestions from PP's about him skyping with the mower please, please do one of the suggestions and report back!

A couple of years ago I broke DH's much loved, much played, very expensive, hard to come by vintage guitar. I was walking past it (it was on a stand) and my bag strap caught on the guitar and pulled it over and on to my foot. It's a very heavy guitar and it sprained my foot (swelled up like a balloon). DH thought I had broken my foot so got me in the car and to A&E, he didn't even pick his guitar up until we got home that evening.
A switch had snapped on the front body. Cost a fair wack to sort as he also had to redo something on the electrics. I cried (a lot) and apologised profusely, DH just said he didn't care about the guitar he was more bothered about me and my foot.

My foot has never been the same since either!