Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

[fatandembarrassed]

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

We only have the OP's word he said that, and considering guiding by the elbow is manhandling, I'm not entirely convinced of his nastiness.

She was 100% in the wrong, he was doing his job.

Good Lord. I think you're all being extremely harsh. I'm sure if op's situation was explained, nobody would object. If I am honest, I think I would have been tempted to say that being so restricted was causing contractions, that they were probably bh but, whatever they were, walking eased them and that you thought delivering there and then would cause more inconvenience. I bet they would have bent over backwards to accommodate you then. I think it all depends on whether you explained the situation to the crew, as to whether you are in a position to complain. If you did, then certainly, a stiff letter is required.

MumsTheWordYouKnow yes!!!

OP I'm working for airline, I'm telling you the way he said it was inappropriate! Please call airline and complain while it's still timely, you might get compensated

Gide, surely it's common sense to not assume a woman is pregnant? I've seen women who look pregnant but have recently had a baby/stillbirth/miscarriage. A friend of a friend had a (thankfully) benign stomach tumor which made her appear pregnant. I have a friend who is fat but all the weight is on her belly and boobs, she looks heavily upduffed.
All of these women would be, or in some case have been, offended or upset if it was assumed they were carrying a baby.

YANBU
Grand I agree with you, lots of people seem to be feeling a bit harsh.
If the steward had just approached ready to listen rather than demand this could have been avoided. When sitting in business of course you don't want everyone trailing round. But if there is someone with an appropraite reason, not just pregnancy, you'd have to have an ice cold heart to object (or be wedged fully up you own backside).
OP, feeling for you and please complain. Airline might just listen and think before behaving so badly again.

Marmoset, even if she was giving birth I would still complain. Pay the extra grand or eff off

Yabu-you should have bought flight socks to wear so you didn't feel the need to pace around so much!

Bloody hell Betsyderek, compassion's not your sting suit then? I hope you never find yourself suffering, frightened and in need of understanding. Some things are more important than money.

Money is of greater importantance than a person in pain, and their baby
That statement might make sense if you'd have been literally tied to your seat in economy class, or forced to sit on the wing and cling on...
But seeing as they also have aisles in economy I think you're being ridiculously dramatic.
And as to the poster who said "know your place!"? Op's place would have been in business class if she'd paid for a business class ticket, she wasn't actually prevented from doing so; so that's ridiculous bollocks as well

Wow. As someone who works in a caring profession I'm bloody glad for my patients you lot aren't my colleagues. Also glad I'm not stinking rich as it seems to make you a total arsehole.

Obviously in an emptier part of the plane there is more room to move and anyone questioning about the op struggling to walk up and down the economy aisle obviously hasn't been flying in economy for quite some time. As a non pregnant, not overweight person navigating the aisle is tricky.

"suffering and frightening"

Yes, nothing helps with suffering and being frightened that wandering in to the next class up of travel. I hear that just by stepping on the carpet of BC it would alleviate all symptoms. Don't bother asking a FA for help, no, that would be really silly. I hear hospitals will be prescribing this method for everyone going forward.

Hang on. I'm not massively rich and what I do earn plus a very generous £2k monthly flight allowance I earned by studying for years and succeeding to become an engineer in the oil and gas industry and then building a career in the middle East leading teams of Arabic men, do you think that was an easy path?. I have worked 10 times harder than anyone I know to get this. I am the only woman in my field I know and I started planning this w0 years ago. I chose my specialist because it's niche, it's essential and it's on/off cycle with high pay. I didn't accidently have a decent amount of money any more than I accidently pay several grand to fly in a more comfortable seat. I don't have more money than sense, my sense earns my salary ta.

Everyone saying 'you shouldn't have been in business class,' Jesus.

First/second class - that's the kind of thing that should have been abolished long ago, imo.

And that will be the end of cheap long haul air travel!

"Marmoset, even if she was giving birth I would still complain. Pay the extra grand or eff off"

Plus, objecting to people getting free upgrades to BC but boasting about her own free upgrade to FC.
I really can't imagine why betsyderek
was worried about "coming across" like a total arsehole

"And that will be the end of cheap long haul air travel!"

Well, flights are heavily subsidised anyway because there's no tax on the fuel, so maybe they could tax that and subside less well off people's seats. Where there's a will, and all that.

I couldn't care less about first class. I haven't flown economy for about 10 years, because I PAY! Making bitchy put downs just makes you look stupid, you might be busy though because I am certainly not the only one on this thread who thinks the op was a grabby changer. But if it makes you feel better about yourself, do carry on dear.

so maybe they could tax that and subside less well off people's seats. Where there's a will, and all that.

You are joking. You do realise that flight is a luxury and there is absolutely no need to subsidise people who would like the perks of a big seat without wanting to pay for it?

Apropos of nothing, I remember QI using the Business Class as an example of 'Goldilocks pricing'. Economy too cheap. First Class too expensive. Must make BC 'just right'.

I feel really good about myself, thank you dear OP, hope you are ok and good luck with the birth

Sorry still chiluckling about some random saying first class on Saudis is boasting. You really do have absolutely no idea

Marmoset, even if she was giving birth I would still complain. Pay the extra grand or eff off

Agreed!

Queenbean, yep, I do think it's a luxury. I was merely making a point about abolishing first/second class and that the fact that there are always economic arguments for maintaining inequalities.

And while people might (quite rightly) think that inequality on a flight isn't the biggest deal in comparison to other inequalities, it's pretty symbolic of some shitty, victorian era, class system. And the fact that people think a first class passengers right to peace and quiet is more important that a pregnant woman's comfort, kind of illustrates that.

I don't expect anyone to agree with me (judging by the comments on this thread) but I'd abolish first/second systems on all transport if i could. Where I live in Wales, there's no first class on the trains, and it's blissfully equal.

its pretty symbolic of some shitty, victorian era, class system

No it's not

the fact that some people think a first class passengers right to peace and quiet is more important than a pregnant woman's comfort

1. The op said she wanted to walk to make herself more comfortable. Why wasn't economy sufficient to do this given that the aisles are longer
2. How do you know there weren't passengers in BC who upgraded themselves due to medical issues and needed the peace and quiet? Worse, more serious medical issues than the very optional pregnancy? You don't. But you can't say that a pregnant woman trumps everyone else.
3. If said pregnant woman wanted to comforts of BC why didn't she pay for them?