Embarrassed and upset. Was I wrong?

[fatandembarrassed]

Nc for this

I recently had to take an 11 hour flight. I'm quite pregnant at the moment - not close to my due date, but it's very obvious and I am pretty big now. I was cleared to fly but warned that I must walk about as much as possible.

I didn't have much notice of this flight and so didn't have spare money, so I booked an economy seat next to the toilet, for obvious reasons, and with extra legroom. It was fine, but about 4 hours into the flight, I realised my ankles were swelling, so I got up and started to walk about a bit.

I felt a bit embarrassed, but I was in a fair bit of pain with my ankles and Braxton Hicks contractions, so I persevered very slowly and in complete silence, making my way along the aisles which wasn't easy in Economy as it was very tight. I then walked up and down the Business Class aisle. Nobody looked up or seemed disturbed by me, and it was easier to walk, so I walked up and down that section twice which took me about five minutes.

Next thing I knew, a male flight attendant marched up to me, put his hand on my arm and told me that I was disturbing passengers who had paid more than me, and that I might be pregnant but it was 'not an excuse' to 'make a disturbance'. I was quite shocked to be told I was disturbing anyone - I was very quiet and slow, and there for less than 5 min.

I was really upset to have him talk to me like that, both touching me and implying that I was just being a 'nuisance' to people who were clearly 'better' than me. I ended up crying because I was so humiliated (hate having to walk anyway and draw attention to myself), in horrible pain and having contractions.

Was I being unreasonable here? DH is very upset that I was treated like this and I really didn't think I was doing anything terribly wrong.

I fly from ME to London every 3 weeks in business class and I reckon at least t people per flight hang around assuming that everyone will smile and say it's fine for them to stay because of their limp/pregnancy/screaming child/precious toddler needing to run etc. Its simple. If you want to join us, pay the extra 1500 quid we pay. I would have asked for the OP to be removed, as I do at least 5 times on every flight I am on. I chose a job where I could work abroad and afford to fly home on my rest days and sleep on the flight. I haven't ready the whole thread so don't know why it got weird but it doesn't really matter. Pay for a seat or piss off.

5 people not t.

"No, I don't. I find it utterly bonkers."

Does it not interest you that public attitudes change over time, and that they are affected by politics, advertising, the media etc?

Are you happy for your attitudes to be influenced without questioning it?

Or do you maybe think you are immune to this stuff?

But Blink, why couldn't the OP just walk around economy? The aisles are longer, the FAs use their trolleys up and down which are much bigger than a bump so she DID have space.

If literally her only option was BC then I'd agree that it was unfair to penalise her but she didnt, she had loads of space in economy.

So when I give my seat to a pregnant woman on the Tube I am, in fact, fighting TTIP?

it's a nice thought.

And same for the saddos at the gate begging for an upgrade. You can upgrade at the gate if you hand them your credit card. Its called paying for things you want. I always object to that too. The gold card loyalty people get upgraded after take off and that is normal and not the same.

O.o was trying to get moved. Its soooo obvious and that's why she is feeling embarrassed.

"But Blink, why couldn't the OP just walk around economy?"

I dunno, she hasn't said. She has said she found economy class cramped so maybe that was it.

Maybe those trolleys were in the way at the time?

Like I said above, it's not so much whether she was asked to return to economy (although I don't this she should have been) but more importantly the attitude that she was met with.

The FA, if he'd have any respect and people skills, could have redirected her to economy while asking her if she needed any help, and generally looking after her.

Not making her feel like shit for crossing an imaginary barrier to the wealthy side.

Ironically, some years ago I won a free 5 star holiday to Mauritius.. Because I have osteo-arthritis and sitting in cramped conditions for long periods (12 hour flight) is hell, I paid to be upgraded.

My doctor advised to walk at intervals to avoid DVT and I found it easier to walk the longer aisles in Economy. No-one ushered me back to my business class seat .

Blink are you a bit of a conspiracy theorist in general?

Because you really are making a mountain out of a molehill.

I've been a pregnant woman three times. It didn't make me vulnerable. And it certainly didn't entitle me to wander around areas I hadn't paid to be in.

Like you said; flying is a choice. OP made the choice to buy an economy ticket. It really is as simple as that.

Actually sometimes my husband sits in economy because he would rather keep the money difference from his company allowance and doesn't sleep on planes (rarely travel together) and I have been asked to go back to my seat

The vast majority of respondents have said the FA was unnecessarily rude.

Maybe he pissed eith off with tightwads trying to get themselves a free upgrade.

Not making her feel like shit for crossing an imaginary barrier to the wealthy side

Imaginary?

There's a bloody curtain!

Great post Blink. Completely agree!

I had a brilliant one the other day. Guy whinging he didn't want to sit next to a woman and demanding to be moved when it was clear business was full. He went on and on in Arabic with no idea I understand (white, blonde, oil engineer but look like a barmaid) and finally got to the point: If he can't be seated next to a male passenger or an empty seat then they should see if there are any first class seats. So they did and moved me!

"Blink are you a bit of a conspiracy theorist in general"

No not really. I find conspiracy theorists who go on about all sorts of made up imaginary shit pretty tiresome.

But this stuff isn't conspiracy shit, it's pretty well documented stuff about changes to our society.

Seeing the bigger picture and recognising cultural changes and how that plays out on an individual level has got nothing to do with conspiracy. Nor has recognising who holds the power, where society seems to be moving and how that affects us.

I've been pregnant more than once also. It may not have made you feel vulnerable, but the reality is your body is undergoing huge physical changes and it does make you more vulnerable - or if you prefer - susceptible to injury (because of the hormone relaxin) and at risk of complications and pregnancy related illness - if you would rather use those terms than "vulnerable".

"If he can't be seated next to a male passenger or an empty seat then they should see if there are any first class seats. So they did and moved me!"

Love it

Well handled by the FAs. I bet his face was a picture!

She didn't say she was "huffing and puffing" and I think its unkind to say she was.

I've flown a lot and walked through business class on a long haul flight no problems. I used to ask when I was younger and first traveling if I could and the air stewards always said yes. I have even sat and made friends in business for short periods of time without any issues and the stewards being fully aware.

I think the staff member in question was not only rude but insensitive. If you had been dancing up the aisles that's one thing (and poor behaviour regardless of if its in your allocated cabin or not) but a high risk passenger walking slowly and quietly for health reasons, I see no problem.

I would write to the airline and complain, making sure to give all the details of your flight, the time and a description of the staff member as well as the reason why you were walking and how it made you feel then and now. Hugs

Walter All pregnancies are different but ultimately it is not just because she was pregnant that the OP deserved to be treated with a bit more compassion - it is because she is a human being who was anxious and in pain. Her pregnancy may have been the root of this discomfort but apart from that it is pretty irrelevant to me. I think if she was elderly and in pain, or disabled and in pain, or even someone who had a bad back, she should still have been treated better than she was.

Blink it was Saudi Airlines as well and he was a national.

And what if she'd been one of 20 passengers with a variety of ailments? What then?

betsyderek even better!

I really must stop getting sucked into this thread now and get on with what I am meant to be doing!

But I'm off with a now, thanks!

I even sat and made friends in business for short periods of time without any issues and the stewards being fully aware.

God, if I'd paid the extra for the peace to work and sleep in business class (which is what people pay for after all) and the FAs let in someone who hadn't paid to sit next to me and 'make friends' annoy me I would be furious.

People who sit down and 'make friends' with strangers uninvited in situations where their new 'friends' are effectively trapped display a basic lack of social awareness and are behaving like nutters on a bus.

What I have a problem with is the attitude that paying for those luxuries should include the luxury of not having to notice the discomfort of a pregnant woman, or to even have to share the same space as her if it helps her, when all she wanted to do was walk up and down.
It's not like that at all. Had she paid for BC, then it would be fine for her to walk up and down in BC. She can't use the services and facilities that she hasn't paid for. Those people who have paid for those services will include pregnant women in discomfort.

The separation is in the service you have paid for, not your physical condition.
If BC was the ONLY place that a pregnant woman could walk, then she could have a point, but there was plenty of (more) space in economy.