Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

too be mad that friend had son in park at 10pm and ignored my calls

46 replies

Cheekypainter · 16/05/2016 09:15

Sorry in advance for the long rant !
I don't know if I'm being hormonal or if I'm justified in feeling really angery, with said friend.
Yesterday I was working and OH was gone with sick toddler, got a call asking if 10 year old could go to the park with them, this was 3pm. Sure no problem, in fact thanks a lot very kind to ask.
I get home dish up dinner, it's 6.30pm I try calling, send a text nothing, I keep calling and send 3 more texts. By 8.30pm still no reply or answer, it's a school night ( DS bed time is 9pm) and I'm starting to get worried/ stressed. By 9.15 pm OH goes to her house and she's not there so walks to the park, and there he finds DS with her kids playing in the dark in the park, he finds 'friend' at the other end of the park enjoying a BBQ !! It's now 9.45 pm OH asks her where her phone is and calls her irresponsible, and when she said what's the problem he shouts ' he should have his head on a pillow not running around the park'
10 minutes after OH leaves the park on way home she finally texts me that DS is on his way home !!
No shit Sherlock!!
am I being unreasonable to be really angry with this woman.
I called her 38 times !!

OP posts:
Balletgirlmum · 16/05/2016 09:18

I'd have called the police by that time. Yanbu at all.

Cel982 · 16/05/2016 09:19

Yeah, I'd be annoyed too. It's too late to keep a child out on a school night without prior arrangement. Your OH going off on her probably wasn't very helpful; I just wouldn't be inclined to let her take my child out again until he was a bit older.

Kungfupandaworksout16 · 16/05/2016 09:19

No definitley not unreasonable. Just don't let her take your son anywhere. She obviously wanted company for her child so her child didn't pester and get in the way of the BBQ

MissBattleaxe · 16/05/2016 09:21

I'd have been fuming. It's nice to take your son out, but that's ridiculous. If you're in charge of someone's child, you keep your phone close. Was she drinking? It seems odd to have a BBQ at 9.45 on a school night.

lavenderdoilly · 16/05/2016 09:31

I'd have called the police.

WobbleYourHead · 16/05/2016 09:36

I'd have been out of my mind with worry and likely have called the police/local hospitals/every single mutual friend...

Original poster
Cheekypainter · 16/05/2016 09:41

She most certainly will not be taking my son any where again.
I asked OH if they were drinking he said not that he saw, but then he walked the length of the park and it's a huge park, she would have had plenty of time to hide any alcohol.
I'm struggling with how irresponsible she was, and how inconsiderate to my worry,
I had no idea she was going for a BBQ and I certainly wouldn't have agreed to my son in the park at that time.
I just can't understand her line of thinking. 😡

OP posts:
MoonfaceAndSilky · 16/05/2016 09:50

Shock I would be fuming too.
Did she not even tell you she was going to give him his dinner? Or what time he'd be coming home? Who does that? Is she on glue?Grin

I'd phone her today and give her what for..! Angry

HisNameWasPrinceAndHeWasFunky · 16/05/2016 09:52

what the fuck was she thinking?

OP I suspect she may have been on glue Grin

HisNameWasPrinceAndHeWasFunky · 16/05/2016 09:52

X posts!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 16/05/2016 09:57

I'd have been absolutely frantic. I can imagine all kinds were running through your mind.
God knows how anyone can spend that long in a park.

SleeplessRageMonster · 16/05/2016 10:00

She didn't give a shit where your child was, and was too stupid/irresponsible to think about contacting the child's parents about where their child was/when they'd be home.

PregnantAndEngaged · 16/05/2016 10:03

That's ridiculous, not least because a trip to the park usually means an absolute maximum of an hour, not 6 hours!!!

If she'd have just said, can he come to the park and then stay for dinner, you wouldn't have worried so much. But in addition, you'd have been able to say "his bedtime is at 9pm, please don't be later than that".

Also, if you're looking after someone's child you need to have your phone near you and on loud and keep the parent updated about your time together if they're going to be with you for some time. For you to have tried calling her 36 times with no answer or response is just beyond unforgivable.

She should have known you'd be worried sick.

I don't think she's really a good friend to put you through such worry. She was just thinking of herself offering to take him out.

Iamblossom · 16/05/2016 10:07

I would have ben worried and then very angry and my DH would have also been extremely angry. Out of order.

sneakyminders · 16/05/2016 10:09

I'd have been worried sick and I'm pretty laid back about the kids being out and about - you poor thing. Of course YANBU. Thank god all was well. Your friend is an arse.

sneakyminders · 16/05/2016 10:14

ps it's illegal to have a BBQ in a park isn't it?

Original poster
Cheekypainter · 16/05/2016 10:14

No she didn't communicate with me All day, I had visions of my son cold and hungry in the dark, then him missing ect.
I have 7 weeks left of this pregnancy and have form for early labour, which she knows, she is also aware that my OH is up at 5am and we are early to bed people.
But she didn't give a toss,
But to text me when my OH had picked son up, is unbelievable.
I really want to call her and tell her about her self, personally I feel she's treading a thin line and her children deserve better.
If she wants to neglect her kids by letting them run about in a dark park on a school night with minimal supervision that's her business, but we work hard in ensuring our kids are looked after probably!!
Sorry I know I'm ranting but I'm hormonal as well as incredibly angry

OP posts:
Lweji · 16/05/2016 10:15

She'd stop being a friend and any phone calls would go unanswered.

After having a huge go at her.

FuzzyOwl · 16/05/2016 10:17

I don't think she is a friend at all. I agree with a PP that she wanted a friend for her child so she could enjoy the barbecue in peace.

I would also have called the police.

Original poster
Cheekypainter · 16/05/2016 10:20

What time did she think she was going to roll up with my son. ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheekypainter · 16/05/2016 10:21

Yeah I'm going to message her, or this is going to eat away at me until I bump into her and then it will be a lot nastier

OP posts:
Littlepeople12345 · 16/05/2016 10:26

That's terrible!! I wouldn't have left it so late though. I'd have been looking for him by 7pm

MoonfaceAndSilky · 16/05/2016 10:27

Yeah I wonder what would have happened if your OH had not gone to the park? What time she would have brought your DS home?

I would not be letting this woman anywhere near my children again.

AugustaFinkNottle · 16/05/2016 10:41

I'd be a bit worried about the safety of her own children if this is her normal practice. Is it worth a quick word with the school to see if they have any concerns?

Original poster
Cheekypainter · 16/05/2016 10:42

Yeah OH should have gone earlier, but I kept thinking the door will
Go any second now, my text to her at 7.20 was rather polite ... Hi where are you, OH will come and get DS as its getting late now'
I literally had my hand ready to call the police if they wasn't in the park,
Hind sight is great and we do wish we had just gone to the park around 7pm.
In fact I wish I had called the police and taught her a lesson.

OP posts: