too be mad that friend had son in park at 10pm and ignored my calls

[Cheekypainter]

Sorry in advance for the long rant !
I don't know if I'm being hormonal or if I'm justified in feeling really angery, with said friend.
Yesterday I was working and OH was gone with sick toddler, got a call asking if 10 year old could go to the park with them, this was 3pm. Sure no problem, in fact thanks a lot very kind to ask.
I get home dish up dinner, it's 6.30pm I try calling, send a text nothing, I keep calling and send 3 more texts. By 8.30pm still no reply or answer, it's a school night ( DS bed time is 9pm) and I'm starting to get worried/ stressed. By 9.15 pm OH goes to her house and she's not there so walks to the park, and there he finds DS with her kids playing in the dark in the park, he finds 'friend' at the other end of the park enjoying a BBQ !! It's now 9.45 pm OH asks her where her phone is and calls her irresponsible, and when she said what's the problem he shouts ' he should have his head on a pillow not running around the park'
10 minutes after OH leaves the park on way home she finally texts me that DS is on his way home !!
No shit Sherlock!!
am I being unreasonable to be really angry with this woman.
I called her 38 times !!

I would have lost it.

I would have been beside myself.
However...
He's home, safe and probably had an exciting night. Have nothing more to do with her but don't let it eat you up.

Your OH going off on her probably wasn't very helpful; I just wouldn't be inclined to let her take my child out again until he was a bit older.

Fuck that.

If ever there was a time to deserve someone having a go at you, that was definitely it.

As for being helpful, hopefully it will help the selfish cow to think twice before causing other parents to be frantic with worry.

I thought from your title that you meant her own son, not yours, and couldn't figure out what the problem was. Then I read your op. That's appalling! What on earth was she thinking?? I suggest an email to her where you can list out exactly what she did wrong, without being interrupted or harangued.

Well, I prob would have made my way to the park well before 9.15pm to check everything was ok. Has she form for being a bit laid back in similar situations? Did your son have fun? I think as long as he was having fun, being looked after (despite it being late) I wouldn't make too much of an issue about it, especially if this is a one off and she's a friend. I would however make it clear that you were getting anxious re lack of communication and could she be more considerate in future.

OP I don't blame you for being cross and upset! Not answering her phone whilst looking after your child is completely irresponsible!

However - Having her own child out at 10pm for a BBQ is not neglect! I understand you're probably just cross and venting!

To the poster who suggested having a word with the school? Unreasonable and unnecessary!

You don't take your friend's child anywhere then become totally uncontactable for hours ! Unless the deal is they are off trekking in the Himalayas with you. YANBU OP - I would have hit the roof!

OMG, I'd have been frantic and would probably have punched her in the face. Who takes someone elses child and then doesn't answer the phone for hours? Was she drinking alcohol at the bbq?

YANBU! I would have lost my head by that point (I'm fairly anxious anyway). When someone has your child, especially for that length of time you bloody check your phone/answer it/tell the parents a time you will be back ffs. I'd be so angry especially at her attitude and lack of apology! Texting you when your OH was already on his way back was her way of trying to cover her arse "oh look, I did message you" fuck that shit. She deserved what your OH said.

No sane person would think it was reasonable to "pop to the park" for 7 hours - or more as she wasn't leaving at that point.

She deserved having pointed out to her that her behaviour was terrible and I wouldn't trust her judgement again.

Too right I would speak to her, just who thinks this is OK??

I would have gone there way before 9 and called the police.

you texted/called her 38 times! and she ignored as she was enjoying you getting upset. She is clearly not a friend and seems to be at the polar opposite end of the parenting spectrum from you .Hope your oh gave her a good telling off and you will do the same. And the text AFTER your oh collected ds?? was she saying to bbq friends-'I'll text her now , shall I ? Ha ha.'

I would simply say not to bother inviting your son again as he will not be allowed to spend any time in her "care" again.

We had this happen once. The family involved just had completely different attitude to appropriate bedtimes and supervision from ours. We put it down as a learning and didnt let her take DCs elsewhere again.

Did your son have fun? I think as long as he was having fun, being looked after (despite it being late) I wouldn't make too much of an issue about it, especially if this is a one off and she's a friend.

Are you serious, as long as he was having fun??!!!!
What about poor OP who was going mad with worry and called her 38 times? And being looked after? I don't think so - he was at the other end of the park, in the dark! She's no friend, she's an irresponsible selfish moo

OH thinks I should just leave it now, as he feels that he did go in on her a bit, but I'm definitely done.

Wow, YANBU at all! I would definitely have it out with her. Yes, your OH let rip at her but you should also do the same. I'd have called the police

Am I right in thinking that the children could not even be seen by the woman because it was dark and she was at the opposite end of the park enjoying the barbecue? Had the children been given any food at any point?

DS said he ate, from where she was acc

I would be very angry.

I advise at this stage however not to have it out with her. It has the potential to get out of hand. Also you need to take care of yourself and be calm right now.

Just ignore her for the rest of your life! Make sure the grapevine gets to hear about what happened so no other kid gets this kind of playdate.