Neighbour scolded me about washing out in the front

[OrangeSplot]

Hello.

I'm feeling a bit stung and embarrassed.

We rent in a close. A few retired homeowners take care of the communal area (off their own back - do the gardens etc but I think our LL pays for lawn to be cut etc).

My neighbor just told me that I should dry my washing at the back as its "not nice for the neighbours".

Incidentally, my DH hung washing out front yesterday as the stand was there from kids playing and was sunny.

I was a bit taken aback - although I know/suspect they look down on us for having toys in our front lawn etc and more weedy than theirs. I can imagine it's not ideal but you just accept that you have a neighbour with lower aesthetic standards than you, surely?

If it's relevant I was told off last year because my friend had left her car in the communal grounds (not obstructing etc, just parked) for about 2/3 days because she ended up getting a taxi home. Another neighbor had a real go at me about it disrespecting the neighbours etc. It's just a car in my eyes, it was removed on day 3 or 4 I think.

I said little because I didn't want to say 'yes of course'. And I didn't want to argue so I just said 'I'll think about what you said' and I think I may have uttered 'I think it's an unreasonable request'. She said 'Well, , if you don't hang your washing out the back, I think you should know that it will be taken further'.

I just feel upset. It's not nice to have upset from neighbours. I'm polite and friendly and my kids play with their grandkids happily.

Is she being unreasonable or am I?

The only reason I wouldn't hang my washing out the front is I would be afraid it would be nicked.

I'm sure it's a generation thing. When my DCs were small I had so much washing to dry I'd have put it where I damn well liked. But now I'm (much) older I'm afraid I wouldn't like it if my neighbours did so. As an earlier poster said, you could explain politely why you had to put it out the front that day and say you understand her PoV.

Twat badging what will happen in a few years to let them know you own it, and please make sure you start a thread when it happens :o
Oh...you're not starting the thread there are you?

Check your tenancy agreement and if allowed hang your bloomers. I always wanted an Irish wolfhound in an old cortina like Onslow in my front garden.

I sympathise. My neighbours are awful. They've called the council, social services and generally been abusive such that I've had to cAll the police. All because in our quiet unobtrusive little lives we were looked down on. Not rich and shiny enough. They've caused me to lose my job that would have allowed me to move. Thus perpetuating a situation they object to. Stupid arseholes.

I live in the north west... some days I hang my washing out the back and later on when the sun moves round, if it's still sunny... I'll run the towels round the front on the maidens to finish them off...

I think it's a pity you were so taken aback that you didn't have time to think and tell her to mind her own business. Up where I live there's a very un Christian religious thing goes on (several different Christian denominations in the area, and all of them filled with hypocrites so far as I can see, and I am a strong believer in God.) You aren't supposed to hang your washing out on Sunday - or valet your car, or let kids outside to play - they should be reading improving material and when you do hang out washing it should be a certain way.

FFS life's too short. Don't let petty minded idiots make you change YOUR way of life. btw, just a bit further along the coastline, the villagers hang their washing on the public green - always have and it's characterful ..

As to her nasty comment about "taking it further" - what is this, back to school? Where's she going to take it? Who's got the right to tell you where to hang your washing - oh boy, I'm spitting mad on your behalf.

I used to live in the same sort of place with elderly neighbours and it was a nightmare for the same sort of reasons. I would double check the rules about the washing and if it is not banned I would do it. It is your home to . Don't give in to people with two much time on their hands bullying you x

It's a form of lower-middle--class snobbish anxiety, OP - the sole reason to worry about someone with wild bluebells growing in their front garden and visible laundry (ditto with people sitting in their front garden) is because of their horror of the area looking proletarian. This, apparently, is the ultimate horror and makes earthquakes and genocide pale in comparison.

It is, it seems, but a single step from dandelions in the lawn and a glimpse of children's school shirts on a rack to a raucous crew necking White Lightning with their Staffies on a row of abandoned sofas at 3 am and hence the End of Days.

Oh, and I realised after I moved to my last house that in a certain kind of aspirational, uber-'respectable' lower-middle-class environment, the mere fact of renting is in itself a source of shame and uneasiness.

The owners of the house we were renting (siblings who had inherited from deceased parents and because they were scattered in different countries couldn't get organised to sell in the short to medium term) were castigated for renting it out by neighbours who were worried about the 'type' who might rent it, as the prohibitive house prices are perceived to be the guarantee of keeping wrong types (often meaning 'young people') out of the village. Neighbours couldn't seem to reconcile the fact that we seemingly weren't poor with the fact that we were renting, and I don't drive or send my son to private school.

I guess cos we rent and it's a grotty house I don't take pride in my house/garden maintenance. I moved in to a weeded front and I don't want to put time and effort in to maintain a stingy LL's garden. And no, its not private close no

I guess your neighbours, who do take some pride in their homes and neighbourhood, already have to put up with your grotty garden and shabby house, and now you are making it worse by hanging your washing out there too. It's up to you but its not very nice for everyone else, is it?

Lots of people rent and still have pride in their homes. It gives renters a bad name to treat the place so much worse than you would if you were a homeowner.

Oh yes of course because in all the upper middle class areas theres loads of washing hanging out in their front gardens

Nonsense

twatbadging. I think you live in my street!
They are all old and it's almost an affront to them that we have moved in with children who, gasp, play outside in the street when it has been pointed out to me that everyone has their own garden for playing in!!

It gives renters a bad name to treat the place so much worse than you would if you were a homeowner

The homeowner's the LL. Why isn't he tidying the garden up?

poster Legendofthephoenix Sat 14-May-16 18:56:49
What you have to remember is they are old and bored. They have nothing better to do with their time.

^ and they say ageism isn't a problem on Mn

I'd be astonished if I saw washing out at the front - and assume some sort of mental illness.

It's you that's nuts, love.

We get hardly any sun at the back of the house, but the front garden is sw facing. So I'm considering putting up higher fences then getting a big drying rack for the front garden. I'm sick of my washing being out all day and not drying.

The homeowner's the LL. Why isn't he tidying the garden up?

He doesn't live there. Why isn't the home user tidying the garden up? Since when did ll's come and weed your garden for you?

Since when did ll's come and weed your garden for you?

They quite often do, actually, based on my own and friends' experiences of renting in this country - depends entirely on the terms of the tenancy agreement. One place we rented the LL supplied a lawnmower and tools, and it was our responsibility, in a couple of others the cost of a lawnmowing/weeding service was included in the rent. (Similarly, one London flat we rented involved an agreement to pay for a weekly cleaner of the LL's choosing.) A friend who is renting in rural Oxfordshire at the moment also has a gardening service included in the rent, and as her LL appears to own a chunk of the village, says it's the same for all his properties.

I rent out my old London flat and as the tiny front 'garden' is communal, I and the other flatowners are responsible for it, not the tenants, who won't have space for gardening tools etc inside their flats, anyway.

Oh yes of course because in all the upper middle class areas theres loads of washing hanging out in their front gardens

I never said that. What I will say is that someone breaking the 'respectability' code for house exteriors is far less likely to be rebuked by neighbours who are not aspirational, and are less worried about what their houses look like from the outside, and the 'tone' of the neighbourhood - and I mean that at either end of the social scale.

Many UMC areas are also far less likely to have houses with very overlooked front and/or back gardens, and to have more widely-spaced houses whose front gardens may be entirely invisible from the road/neighbours' windows, so visible laundry or weeds are more likely to be a non-issue.

Nice if they do, doesn't excuse a complete lack of care if they don't.

Sure you can choose to have no pride in your home and let it be an eyesore, but then your neighbours can choose to not like it and think a bit less of you.

It's not snobby or middle class to want to live in a nice place with people who make a bit of an effort. In fact it was always the poorest of areas that were obsessed with keeping up appearances. I remember a friends granny telling me she had to scrub the front steps of their house as it would bring shame on the family to be seen to be anything less than pristine. She said "Mebbes all ye had were a pot to piss in but it'd best be a clean pot!"

You sound a sweetheart... you already know you don't want to piss your neighbours off (kinda the meaning of 'neighbourly')

Every road has one of these people... don't take it personally.
I'm kinda with the folks saying washing should go in the back garden (but also understand hubby placing it where the sun was shining!)
Personally I would not put my washing out front. Does look a bit naff.

I laughed at the Jamas/vest/no bra scenario... know exactly how vulnerable you felt!
I was under my GORGEOUS new neighbours' car in a very similar outfit trying to retrieve my cat (cat had a broken leg and was meant to be staying in)
Lovely neighbour came out to ask if he could help and I was SO embarrassed I panicked and told him quite sharply 'no thanks, and to go back in as he would scare my cat'! Found out later he went back in and told his sister what an utter bitch I was!!! (We made up later ;)

Wow TwatBadging :D

My headspace doesn't really have any room to consider weeds to be a major issue. I know they're not ideal, my MY perspective on life doesn't prioritise them in the slightest. If I considered the house infringing on the rights of others then I could change things.

For the record I would appreciate if the LL gave us a strimmer as I don't want to buy something to maintain His house. We don't have a garage like some other neighbours which is annoying for storing kids bikes so they're sometimes at the front. It's quicker for me to access them that way than walking round back. I can see this will be perceived as putting my ease of access/laziness above neighbour's aesthetic values.
I do try to make my life easier. I can see its not "nice" but i don't think it's a monstrosity either. Life just isn't so neat and trimmed.

I've stuck "stained glass" colouring the kids did in the window - perhaps that offends them too. There aren't neat curtains, just scruffy blu-tacked papers from their perspective perhaps.

I'm being honest about my perspective. So will probably have built up a hideous picture for some people.

My LL refused to change the grotty stinking carpets in the Bathroom and Toilet when we moved in. I had to dispose and laminate at my own cost. I also had to push for him to cover for Half the cost of carpet cleaning (it was REALLY smelly).

Had to rent in catchment at short notice...

I'd be astonished if I saw washing out at the front - and assume some sort of mental illness

Wow. Just wow.

We rent privately. There are a handful of flats in our block, all with their own front door (so no communal areas). The doors at the front of the block have a small amount of grass around them, of which ours is one. The blocks of flats are based on an A road, although the driveway area is pretty big, so not too close to the traffic. Still with me?

There's no tumble or spin dryer in the flat, and kitchen, living and dining area are all open plan. We can't afford to have the heating on very often. As we live somewhere with a very high annual rainfall, damp is already a problem, despite the block actually being quite a new build, and it's a nightmare in the winter to get clothes dry, particularly work uniform.

My laundry goes outside, including underwear. A neighbour who owns her flat said that she was initially 'strongly discouraged' from putting out laundry by the property management company (we only deal with our landlady, so not really sure what this company does, but someone comes to cut our grass and wash our windows ). She laughed. Her clothes horses are about 4 metres from mine, and she once complimented me on my bright whites, which left me feeling pretty chuffed!

No one else has commented (though I do get some funny looks when I do my exercises outside, both from the neighbours and pedestrians), and I read our lease carefully in case there was a rule about it. The landlady has never mentioned laundry to us. If it affects how people perceive me, then I think it says more about them than it does about me, even though I know my DM would be mortified if she knew I hang underwear out, sometimes even on a Sunday! stares defiantly

I own my house. Naice middle class rural area in the north. Big front and rear gardens.

I honestly couldn't give a flying fuck where my neighbours hang their washing and I'm pretty sure they'd feel the same about mine. If they said anything about it I'd probably piss myself laughing anyway and not care.
However I do think some homeowners ate horribly snobbish towards neighbours who rent. I recently my mums home to a friend of mine. Another nice house middle class cul de sac. Immediately I started getting petty pathetic complaints from the neighbours. And these are people Id known and liked since I was a child. Eventually it came to a head when my friend parked on the street in front of the house instead of up the steep driveway on a snowy day. I got a complaint from the neighbour that the tenants had parked their old car in front of their house and it was obstructing them.
I went up. It was well out of the way. No obstruction. Spoke to neighbour who said they'd paid a lot of money for their house and shouldn't have to look at someone else's old car and that they'd all been privately owned houses when they'd moved in. I went ape. I pointed out that their car was parked on the street the neighbour opposite had 4 cars parked on the street in front of mums house and yet they were dragging me out in a blizzard to deal with this. Sheer hypocrisy. I pointed out that mums house had the biggest frontage on the street because dad had built one house on a plot for 4 houses. And that if I lost my lovely tenants I'd have no hesitation in getting the planning permission for those 4 houses reinstated.
They wound their necks in and I've heard nothing since.

Some people like to look down on others. Those people lack class and manners. OP ignore them. Your home. Your rules.

A bit off topic but are the conifers in your back garden or next door? Hope they're in narked neighbour's garden 'cause at 18 feet they're too high and you can ask the council to get them cut down. Result! You get a sunnier back garden where you can hang your washing out and the neighbour can't moan.

On our street YABU because there's a restrictive covenant saying you can't hang out washing to the front! Crazy rule!

Put your washing out.
B0ll0cks to them.
If they don't like it, stuff 'em.

I wasn't intending on being inflammatory but needed to catch last bit of light for some school uniform bits. Happened to be only at front. As long as they don't go out of their house it won't be seen so hopefully they won't see it! The cat was staring at me with evil eyes the whole time!
I did pull a few weeds out at put a bike in the back garden while I was out though....