Neighbour scolded me about washing out in the front

[OrangeSplot]

Hello.

I'm feeling a bit stung and embarrassed.

We rent in a close. A few retired homeowners take care of the communal area (off their own back - do the gardens etc but I think our LL pays for lawn to be cut etc).

My neighbor just told me that I should dry my washing at the back as its "not nice for the neighbours".

Incidentally, my DH hung washing out front yesterday as the stand was there from kids playing and was sunny.

I was a bit taken aback - although I know/suspect they look down on us for having toys in our front lawn etc and more weedy than theirs. I can imagine it's not ideal but you just accept that you have a neighbour with lower aesthetic standards than you, surely?

If it's relevant I was told off last year because my friend had left her car in the communal grounds (not obstructing etc, just parked) for about 2/3 days because she ended up getting a taxi home. Another neighbor had a real go at me about it disrespecting the neighbours etc. It's just a car in my eyes, it was removed on day 3 or 4 I think.

I said little because I didn't want to say 'yes of course'. And I didn't want to argue so I just said 'I'll think about what you said' and I think I may have uttered 'I think it's an unreasonable request'. She said 'Well, , if you don't hang your washing out the back, I think you should know that it will be taken further'.

I just feel upset. It's not nice to have upset from neighbours. I'm polite and friendly and my kids play with their grandkids happily.

Is she being unreasonable or am I?

[NannawifeofBaldr]

It's not nice to be told off and made to feel like a child. However at least I suppose she was direct and up front, better than gossiping about you behind your back.

However annoyed you are it is usually a good idea to maintain friendly relations with your neighbours however bonkers they are so personally I'd move the washing and weed the garden.

I'm presuming your lease obliges you to keep up the garden anyway.

[Corialanusburt]

There are pros and cons to both sides:

Yes, you have a right to do it, it's not a particularly beautifully kept environment anyway, she was rude and condescending and bullied you because she felt she could..
However, it's not typical to hang out washing in Britain, it does look untidy and if they are making an effort with the fronts of their houses, seeing washing out br the fronts of their houses will be irritating and stressful.

If it were me, on balance I would decide to put washing elsewhere, but would speak to rude neighbour and let her know that a more diplomatic approach would have been kinder.

[Oddsocksgalore]

It would grate on me to see your washing at the front of your house it really would.

If your ll pays to get garden done why have you got weeds?

your neighbours are probably wondering what state the inside of your home looks like judging by the sounds of it.

[specialsubject]

people (or freeholders/landlords) who object to washing on lines want a good telling off for being so bloody entitled. There's free energy to dry it beating down, it keeps your house in good nick and it is just the obvious thing to do.

next door's house is arranged so that the entire garden is visible to me. I and the entire neighbourhood are therefore well aware of the underwear style of the residents. Doesn't bother them and doesn't bother me - and BTW they are senior citizens.

[needfemaleadvice]

Have you checked the lease OP? no point posting here without checking first. If there is something they can do, thats the only way how. How long do you have left on the lease out of interest?

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Take it further?

Is she going to put a horses head on your pillow?

I would ignore.

[GreatFuckability]

they have a point about the car......they do? why? since when does anyone have a right to say where a car is parked on a public road???

tell her to mind her own business!

[OurBlanche]

my friend had left her car in the communal grounds sounds more like a private car park than the public road....

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I do know what you mean, and if the area's not that nice then I can see why you're miffed about it.

Re. the car - I guess it depends on whether it was in a resident's parking space or not - if it was, then I can entirely understand their annoyance. If not, then meh.

The neighbour didn't need to be rude about any of it though - a polite approach works far better and doesn't leave anyone feeling like they've been "told off".

[RabbitSaysWoof]

I think it would be lovely if people used their front gardens more. I would love to live in a road where my child could play in my front garden and see neighbours children doing same. I wouldn't bat an eyelid at someone's washing or weeds either.

[Winterbiscuit]

If someone has no other option then yes, put washing the front. But otherwise in this country the back garden is the place for it.

[BombadierFritz]

Its pretty skanky and i've never seen anyone ever put their washing outfront so its certainly culturally unacceptable where i live. In the past it would go in the back streets but the front was keep crazily clean and tidy. I'd be expecting you to stick an old sofa out front next. There is quite possibly something in the deeds about it being forbidden.
The car thing is really unacceptable unless it was in your personal parking space, in which case, noone elses business.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"seeing washing out br the fronts of their houses will be irritating and stressful."

Stressful??? Stressful??? Really. That's such a non-problem, I don't know where to start.

[Ifailed]

Gwenhwyfar
hear, hear.

[sharknad0]

YABU

Laundry at the front cheapens the area. If was trying to sell my house, it would put off potential buyers. If your neighbours take pride in maintaining their home and the area, you can understand why they can't be over the moon about an unkept front garden, with laundry on it. There should be something about it in the deeds.
You probably don't care because you are only here for a short time if you are renting, but it's different for your neighbours. No-one likes to be told off, but try to put yourself in their shoes and be a nice neighbour.

[MrsGuyOfGisbo]

I'd be astonished if I saw washing out at the front - and assume some sort of mental illness. Okay no-one is harmed by it, but it's such an odd thing to do.

[crazymammy]

Hi!
Thought I'd offer some advice. It is EXTREMELY rare that a property would have a restrictive covenant on the lease regarding what you can use outside space for, let alone whether or not you can hang washing! If the estate is under a housing association or management company then possibly but still unlikely. So I doubt your neighbour busybody could actually take things further. The garden is normally covered by the tenancy agreement, and if it is in there that you have to maintain it then the landlord MUST provide you with the tools to do so. So if you don't have gardening equipment supplied by the LL then it is their job to maintain it.
Having said that, I live in a cul-de-sac in a quiet location and most of my neighbours are OAP's, I find it much easier to keep them on side. Because you'll find if they take a shine to you they'll do little things for you... my neighbour brings my bin in / out and picks the dandelions out of my frint garden while he's doing his own.

[DropZoneOne]

Check your tenancy agreement, just in case. If there's nothing in there, can you check with your landlord? We live in a close and the deeds have strict instructions on how the front should be maintained. At one point, both our neighbours were renting out their properties and I know the agencies just used a standard agreement and failed to mention the specifics regarding maintenance as someone else complained to the agency about how one of the neighbours was failing to keep the standards! We also have several elderly neighbours, many of whom bought the properties from new 40 years ago and seem upset at new young families moving in.

[var123]

I've owned two houses that had restrictive covenants on it dating back to 1860 and 1926 respectively, Neither are in conservation areas or anything. They were just the terms under which the original builder sold the properties to the first owners.

I also owned a Victorian flat at one time that had a covenant restricting me from using the communal garden to bleach sheets - some things stop mattering but they remain on the deeds.

[DropZoneOne]

crazzymammy ours does! down to the permitted colour of the front door and garage door, how the gardens should be maintained, no vans or caravans to be parked on the drives, no businesses to be run from the properties ... the list goes on! It's almost a whole page of the deeds.

[babyboomersrock]

cos we rent and it's a grotty house I don't take pride in my house/garden maintenance. I moved in to a weeded front and I don't want to put time and effort in to maintain a stingy LL's garden

But it's your home OP. Why wouldn't you want it to be as pleasant as possible while you live there?

It isn't just the UK where there are rules about property maintenance. I lived in Germany for two years (block of rented council flats) and as we moved in, the neighbours told me which day was my turn to clean the stairs, use the washing line, and so on. I was young, newly arrived with a toddler, and a bit miffed that nobody just said "welcome", but I accepted that they wanted to keep their environment tidy. It was nicer for all of us, after all.

Ok, you don't want to be "scolded" but you sound almost gleeful that you were outside in your pyjamas and that your front garden is full of weeds - but really? Is it such a big deal to get dressed before you go out, to keep the front area weed-free and hang the washing out the back?

[var123]

I think "take it further", probably means complain to the letting agent and/ or the landlord, both of whom tend to want a quiet life .

Its just better not to let it get to that stage. Find out what is really bothering them and see if you can reach a compromise on that.

[TheFairyCaravan]

I'd be astonished if I saw washing out at the front - and assume some sort of mental illness

WTF?

The old folks' bungalows in our village their washing lines in their front gardens. No one raises an eyebrow.

If I saw washing in a front garden I'd assume the back garden was in the shade.

[babyboomersrock]

people (or freeholders/landlords) who object to washing on lines want a good telling off for being so bloody entitled

But the OP is able to hang her washing out, I think - at the back, as the neighbour suggested?

I agree that it's good to hang washing out and I do that all the time.

[Winterbiscuit]

I'd be astonished if I saw washing out at the front - and assume some sort of mental illness.

Of which mental illness is that a symptom?