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AIBU?

Aibu with dp?

90 replies

Nelly1990 · 13/05/2016 14:44

This is my first post so go easy please. Me and dp have routine of I do the dishes while she washes up but the last few days she has left the dishes until I do them aibu to think she should do them as I do everything else?

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WhereYouLeftIt · 13/05/2016 19:00

There are lots of possibilities here. I'll pick the two extremes.

She has moved herself and her infant in with someone who is already caring for six children, and is of the view that 'well, one more won't make any difference to her' and is a parasite.

She convinced herself that a joint household of seven children would work. It's been nothing like how she expected because she was used to just the one and she constantly feels overwhelmed. She has now dropped into depression and is passively getting by.

Those are the extremes I can think of, reality is somewhere in-between (or an extreme I can't imagine).

What are your feelings on this Nelly? What do you think is going on? What do you fer is going on?

Nelly1990 · 13/05/2016 19:12

Sorry was putting the younger children to bed. We are hoping the older ones will settle soon so we can have a proper chat. I fear that everything is getting to much for her and she wants to finish with me.

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Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 13/05/2016 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Muddlewitch · 13/05/2016 19:57

How long did you have between both of you splitting with your previous partners and getting together? Do you think it's all been a bit of a whirlwind and now it's catching up with her a bit?

Nelly1990 · 14/05/2016 00:03

She had been single for about 5 years her ds is adopted. I had been separated from my husband for a year who unfortunately died a week after we slept together and conceived my youngest DC.

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AliceInUnderpants · 14/05/2016 00:32

Why is her 5 year old still at nursery?

AliceInUnderpants · 14/05/2016 00:33

Sorry, I misread that

NerrSnerr · 14/05/2016 08:15

Was that the dad of all 6 children who died? Must be hard for your partner to take on a house of bereaved children. That's a lot to deal with, dad dying, new siblings, mum meeting and moving in with a new partner very quickly afterwards. It does sound very quick.

MyNewBearTotoro · 14/05/2016 09:03

I'm confused about the age of your youngest.

If you conceived your baby right before your DH died, then waited a year to get together with current DP (so youngest was 3mo) and have now been together 18 months wouldn't that make your youngest 21mo? Where did the 10mo come from?

NerrSnerr · 14/05/2016 09:13

I thought the 10 month old was the partner's adopted child but actually that can't be right because the partner was living with the OP 10 months ago. I don't think the ages add up!

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 14/05/2016 09:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeanutButterLips · 14/05/2016 09:42

I've read it as OP got pregnant , met DP within a month of getting pregnant. So she had 8 months being pregnant and the baby is now 10 months old =18 months altogether.
I'm shit at maths so please correct me if I've made any mistakes

NerrSnerr · 14/05/2016 09:46

Ah that makes more sense. That's a heck of a two years for everyone involved.

Nelly1990 · 14/05/2016 11:29

Sorry I thought I had put my youngest as 18 months I must have hit the wrong number I blame my fat fingers lol. Me and my dh were separated and had a drunken fling. Me and dp have known each other for years so it wasn't like some stranger I moved in.

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Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 14/05/2016 12:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nelly1990 · 14/05/2016 12:31

The kids are all fine with it as they love dp. Me and dp had a chat last night and she is going to make more of an effort. She got up with the kids today and made them breakfast and took them to the park to give me some alone time.

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PeanutButterLips · 14/05/2016 12:58

Why is it you do all the house work and she had the kids?
Seeing as most of them are yours doesn't it make sense that you do the school run and she does the housework?

Nelly1990 · 14/05/2016 13:25

She likes doing the school run as she said it gives her and the kids time to chat about their day and stuff.

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WonkoTheSane42 · 14/05/2016 13:51

Is one of you a retired Austrian Navy captain?

Nelly1990 · 15/05/2016 16:12

No wonko

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Muddlewitch · 15/05/2016 19:57

How have things been today Nelly?

Nelly1990 · 15/05/2016 21:56

Not so good muddel

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steff13 · 15/05/2016 22:37

Going from a household of 2 to a household of 9 must have been a huge adjustment for her. I don't know if I could do it.

Muddlewitch · 15/05/2016 23:08

Sorry to hear that. How about you, you have been through a lot of change in a reasonably short time how are you feeling apart from the issues with housework etc?

Nelly1990 · 16/05/2016 13:33

I'm ok. I have mental health issues but everything is stable right now.

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