Aibu with dp?

[Nelly1990]

This is my first post so go easy please. Me and dp have routine of I do the dishes while she washes up but the last few days she has left the dishes until I do them aibu to think she should do them as I do everything else?

[Nelly1990]

I will offer her a hand and see if that helps.

[AdrenalineFudge]

This really does sound like a miserable existence for all involved.

Either way you need to make time. Continuing as you currently are seems to just be building more and more resentment on both sides.

[Muddlewitch]

*sat

[Muddlewitch]

Could you do the dishes together and talk while you are doing them? I don't mean that sarcastically, sometimes it's easier to talk when you are doing something rather than say face to face 'having a talk.'

[Nelly1990]

It's hard to get a time to talk with all the kids about.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

You don't need a dishwasher. You need to TALK. And she needs to either treat you with respect or GO.

[Nelly1990]

We would get a dishwasher if we had room for one which we don't.

[Orda1]

This whole thread is completely WTF.

[Orda1]

Get a bloody dishwasher.

[Nelly1990]

The dishes are still sitting their from last night so she still hasn't done them. I know taking on 6 kids is hard and a lot of people wouldn't do it. I am knackered as well as one dd isn't sleeping that well so I'm up until the early hours with her every night.

[hellsbellsmelons]

I'd go in and tell her that you are leaving the dishes and she needs to get them done in the morning before the school run.
See what she says to that.

I'm with others though. 6 kids! She has taken on 6 kids after having 1.
I'm not surprised she is knackered.

I know I couldn't do it.
But if it is going to be and was agreed to be an equal partnership then she needs to pull her weight.

Leave the dishes until they get done.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

Everything is OK? You do everythingexcept the school run and the dishes. Except you also do the dishes. You know the balance of this relationship is wrong. Don't minimise it to yourself, it is not healthy for you.

[Nelly1990]

Everything else is mostly ok except for her leaving the dishes.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

You and she need to talk. And maybe, you should consider if this relationship is healthy for you. Or even if it's a relationship at all .

[Nelly1990]

Dp has went back to leaving the dishes the last 2 days which is driving me mad. What should I do?

[Nelly1990]

I'm ok. I have mental health issues but everything is stable right now.

[Muddlewitch]

Sorry to hear that. How about you, you have been through a lot of change in a reasonably short time how are you feeling apart from the issues with housework etc?

[steff13]

Going from a household of 2 to a household of 9 must have been a huge adjustment for her. I don't know if I could do it.

[Nelly1990]

Not so good muddel

[Muddlewitch]

How have things been today Nelly?

[Nelly1990]

No wonko

[WonkoTheSane42]

Is one of you a retired Austrian Navy captain?

[Nelly1990]

She likes doing the school run as she said it gives her and the kids time to chat about their day and stuff.

[PeanutButterLips]

Why is it you do all the house work and she had the kids?
Seeing as most of them are yours doesn't it make sense that you do the school run and she does the housework?

[Nelly1990]

The kids are all fine with it as they love dp. Me and dp had a chat last night and she is going to make more of an effort. She got up with the kids today and made them breakfast and took them to the park to give me some alone time.