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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to breast feed?

551 replies

LouBlue1507 · 13/05/2016 07:41

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and have decided I'm going to bottle feed my baby. Shock

I know breast is best but the thought of breast feeding really grosses me out and makes me feel sick. It's not something I will feel comfortable doing either.

Not only that but I don't want my baby stuck on my chest all the time.

Before I get flamed, I have nothing against women who choose to breastfeed, I have no problem seeing it, Just the thought of me doing it myself grosses me out.

Are there any other mums to be that feel the same or similar? x

OP posts:
maybebabybee · 13/05/2016 10:27

Yes but giles that's because it wasn't working for you. When it works out it's honestly a piece of piss. And when you're pregnant you have no idea which way it will go, so it's daft to say it's a massive commitment before you've even tried it imo.

PrincessHollie · 13/05/2016 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpeakNoWords · 13/05/2016 10:27

I feel the exact opposite to you, but YANBU as it is your choice to do what you want to do.

In your position though, I would want to at least try it out and see if the reality matched your initial reactions to the thought of breastfeeding. There are many things that we do for our own babies that you would otherwise find "gross" if it wasn't for your own baby.

FutureGadgetsLab · 13/05/2016 10:29

Future, I thought the advice was not to make bottles that won't be used within two hours now?

If you put them in the fridge you can use them for up to 24. It's 2 hours if they've started drinking it.

FutureGadgetsLab · 13/05/2016 10:30

Bumwad it's not childish. I found pregnancy gross. Do I need to grow up too? Hmm

murphyslaws · 13/05/2016 10:30

Omg... It's only best if it works it's only best if you can produce.

It only works if you 100% want to do it. If you don't feel confident it won't work

FORMULA IS NOT POISON

You are not a bad mum for not doing it.

Onlyicanclean10 · 13/05/2016 10:31

You do exactly what suits you and your baby op and sod anyone else.

I don't think it's immature to be grossed out by breastfeeding as long as you don't share that in RL as that's insensitive, tattoos gross me out but would never say that in RL.

Good luck with the pregnancy.

unimagmative13 · 13/05/2016 10:37

YANBU, I tried, it didn't happen, DS is a very amazing FF baby.

Your only 31 weeks pregnant and your already getting a feel for what lies ahead with theses comments.

7 months in I'm sick to the back teeth of people opinions on feeding. I can't turn the clock back. Next time I might decide to try again.

It's the snide comments about 'sacrificing my babies needs' or ' putting your child first'

I have no issues with being pro BF but it's the high and mighty BF anti formula brigade that get my goat.

Choose what you want and be happy with that. Worse shit happens the world.

unimagmative13 · 13/05/2016 10:39

Ps Future you are incorrect. The advise is make bottles fresh. Use within 2 hours of being made, 1 hour if used.

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/05/2016 10:39

Oh come off it, everyone's always being told it often takes a while to establish feeding..there aren't that many who pick.baby up and off they go. the clinic I attended was heaving. as was the baby clinics at the drs.

so even of it does become easy the working towards that point is a commitment. amd things cab go wrong with it all the time. again.its pretty naive from.what we see on MN to think.ots plain sailing all the time and peolel need to be sure they are willing to.sign.up fir that on to of all the rest of it.

MrsDeVere · 13/05/2016 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 13/05/2016 10:41

I felt similarly uncomfortable about the prospect whilst pregnant, but here I am 11 months later still breastfeeding. But that's me. It might not be you. It might. Either way's totally fine.

Just please, remember you will get a lot of health professionals encouraging it along the line. Don't make the mistake of taking that personally or feeling they're trying to coerce you; there encouragement isn't aimed at people who have made an informed decision to bottle feed. Their encouragement is aimed at the women who don't have the confidence or support to breastfeed, despite it being something they may actually want to try.

The health professional don't know if you're the "no thanks, I know the score and I've made up mind mind, ta" new mother or the "no thanks" - secretly wishing someone would explain how it works to me and support me in this scary but rewarding responsibility I've never been faced with before - new mother. Don't blame them for trying to make sure no-one misses out for which many are grateful, and if you don't want to just don't!

unimagmative13 · 13/05/2016 10:42

Knits

We all know what WHO say.

But I challenge you to pick out BF from a line up of children, cancer patents and old people.

No one gives a shit once they get past 4 and shove a McDonalds in their gob.

FutureGadgetsLab · 13/05/2016 10:43

Ps Future you are incorrect. The advise is make bottles fresh. Use within 2 hours of being made, 1 hour if used.

No I'm not. They recommend making it fresh but it also says that it's perfectly acceptable to make it and put it in the fridge for 24 hours.

The 2 hours is if it's left out, as in not refrigerated.

PerspicaciaTick · 13/05/2016 10:44

Current NHS guidelines do not recommend making up bottles of formula in advance.
It is one thing to choose to use formula, quite another to disregard best practice because you don't want the faff.

redexpat · 13/05/2016 10:45

I hate anyone touching my nipples as it is now, goes right through me! Let alone a baby (or anyone) sucking them! Me too, but honestly, bfing felt completely different.

PerspicaciaTick · 13/05/2016 10:45

"Bacteria multiply very fast at room temperature. Even when the feed is kept in a fridge, bacteria can still survive and multiply, although they do this more slowly.
To reduce the risk of infection, it's best to make up feeds one at a time, as your baby needs them."

From the NHS website on making up bottles.

redexpat · 13/05/2016 10:46

I'll try again: I hate anyone touching my nipples as it is now, goes right through me! Let alone a baby (or anyone) sucking them! Me too, but honestly, bfing felt completely different.

FutureGadgetsLab · 13/05/2016 10:48

It even says on the tin you can make it up 24 hours in advance.

The guidelines have confused everyone. You get people making it up fresh with cooled boiled water, people putting the powder in first, all sorts of bizarre things.

The important thing is the water used to make it is above 70 degrees. If it isn't it won't kill bacteria, as the bacteria is in the powder not the water.

You're better off making them up with boiling water/just under boiling and refrigerating them than making them up fresh with cooled water.

FutureGadgetsLab · 13/05/2016 10:48

Tick they recommend making it up fresh however 24 hours in the fridge is also considered acceptable. See my post above.

orangebird69 · 13/05/2016 10:49

It's entirely up to you OP, it's your body and your baby. But I would seriously consider trying it, of only to give your baby the colostrum that's so important for them in the first few days. I'm still bfing my 7mo ds. Is fucking hard work (I speak as someone who had no problems bfing - midwife put him to my breast as soon as he was born and he latched on and stayed there for the next 4 hours, we were very lucky) and if anyone gets past the first few days they've done amazingly well.

DixieNormas · 13/05/2016 10:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KnitsBakesAndReads · 13/05/2016 10:54

Knits

We all know what WHO say.

But I challenge you to pick out BF from a line up of children, cancer patents and old people.

Errrr, what? I think reputable scientific studies are probably somewhat more reliable than asking someone to guess whether someone was FF or BF just from looking at them!

You said the evidence that BF has health benefits was pseudoscience, based on unreliable studies, etc, so I posted a link to a document full of references to good evidence supporting the benefits of BF. If you think that evidence is flawed it would be great to hear in what way this is the case.

FutureGadgetsLab · 13/05/2016 10:55

Dixie

Some people have been confused about the cooled water issue. Health visitors have even been telling people it's okay to make fresh bottles with cooled boiled water, which it isn't. That won't kill bacteria.

The important thing is they are made with water above 70 degrees.

BonerSibary · 13/05/2016 10:57

Quite, MrsDV. Only eight pages in and we're already knee deep in cuntery. We've had women using the lactation failure of some women as a stick to beat other women with, infantile comments about saggy tits, concern trolling, sanctilactivism, any feeding choice that isn't mine is disgusting and oodles of people who don't understand that their failure to understand the motivations of other people reflects badly on them, not the people they don't understand. We really only need someone to imply that being a slightly obnoxious lactivist is morally equivalent to the Third Reich and then we're done. OP got what she wanted, then.