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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think our house is haunted?

248 replies

Amy214 · 12/05/2016 22:19

Quite long sorry

My mum has lived here for 36 years (my dad moved in at a later date. Mum was just divorced with 2 children) and only 2 people have previously lived here (it was a new ish house back then) when my siblings were younger they experienced some weird things (in my room mostly) my sister said she would see dark shadows standing at the bottom of her bed, she also said she seen a woman who looked like my mum with a jacket on and had her handbag. My brother also experienced someone punching underneath his bed (was full of toys and other rubbish so no one could fit underneath) my mum also checked under the bed and no one was there. He also felt someone breathing on his face. I am now in the same room and i have also felt/heard some weird things. My niece used to stay overnight and she would wake up in the middle of the night and just stare at the door and laugh (room was dimly lit) she is 3 now and has spoke about a man and woman being in the house (casual conversations with thin air) now dd is here weirder things have happened, dd used to sleep in my room and one day when i went to pick her up from a nap she looked right past me and laughed at something, i stepped away and she was still staring at the same thing. She also giggles as if they have said/done something naughty. When im in the room myself i always feel something tugging at my arm or scratching my foot. i have also seen dark shadows at the end of my bed, also at night i always hear a newborn baby cry (we are the only ones in the block with a toddler, neighbours are older) i also hear what sounds like children running up and down the stairs. 3 nights ago i was lying in bed and i heard a mans voice clear as day in my ear, it was very deep and i couldnt understand a word. I got such a fright i leapt out of bed and switched the light and no one was there, no one was outside and my dad was sleeping. Since dd has moved into her own room she has settled and no longer wakes up in the night. How do i check who the previous occupants were? And if there was a death? The house was built in 1975. Or are we just crazy Grin

OP posts:
liz70 · 14/05/2016 17:15

I'm still waiting for the "logical", "rational" explanations; really I am. So far, I haven't been offered any, at least not any that I've been able to immediately refute. So, where are they?

Makesomethingupyouprick · 14/05/2016 17:18

With a background in psychology and MH I don't believe in ghosts despite some unusual experiences. I believe they had a rational explanation. The human mind is what we still don't understand fully - not ghosts.

But if I suspended my disbelief - if ghosts did exist, if the human spirit was so powerful that it could persist after death and cross earthly divides or whatever..

Why wouldn't a ghost pop up during a TV programme with loads of TV cameras? Why wouldn't my deceased loved ones pop in when I'm struggling financially to give me the lottery numbers?

Why wouldn't a ghost with all the infinite knowledge of life and death impart some incredible knowledge of the other side? That could give comfort to millions or simply astound.

Why, with all the power to move things with no physical body and all the knowledge of a world beyond this one do they seem to bugger about moving ornaments or shutting doors?.

Surely they'd have better things to do or could come up with a way to absolutely prove their existence?

AdrenalineFudge · 14/05/2016 17:25

Surely more evidence for the case that you should get your own TV show so that you can prove to the world that what you have/are experiencing is real?

I'm sure many would be happy to observe and come up with a theory, if not then you'd be the first person in the world to prove it real? A win-win for all involved - i.e. the sceptics and your supporters.

I do think I should leave the thread now as I never thought I'd find myself having an actual discussion on the veracity of ghosts.

I started a thread in SiteStuff I think last week about threads that go into Classics and me being a bit Hmm about some of them. I did say that I suppose it's largely subjective so of course there'd be threads in there that some people thought were total shite but I would personally nominate this thread to go in because it's been absolutely hilarious.

Finelytuned · 14/05/2016 17:31

May I ask if you're referring to my post lemonade?
If so, let me be clear that in hindsight I realise it was a misjudgment on my part to post on the thread instead of a pm as pointed out by a PP but it absolutely wasn't fake concern. Badly put perhaps but not fake.
I've already admitted that I started on this thread thinking it was a bit of a laugh and so I made some silly remarks meant as lighthearted banter but asked MNHQ to remove them as soon as I realised they were causing offence.

EponasWildDaughter · 14/05/2016 17:34

Eponas I don't think a god-fearing Christian would take too kindly to you likening their religious belief to woo.

I agree entirely. But remember my attitude to people believing in what you call 'woo' is completely different to yours. I don't find it hilarious.

I was asking if you felt the same about people who have religious and cultural beliefs as you do about people who believe in spirits and the afterlife. Ie: that they are hilarious.

AdrenalineFudge · 14/05/2016 17:41

In that case, no I don't. Not at all.

AdrenalineFudge · 14/05/2016 17:45

Just to expand on that a little, when my GM died a couple of years ago I was gifted her necklace. I treasure it highly and when I wear it I always feel like there's just so much of her in that necklace. I absolutely love it and I'm grateful that I have it. But what I will not believe is that she is somehow going to open and close doors in my house, or move boxes around the place or make screeching sounds in the night. No. And if I ever started to think that way I'd make an appointment with my GP.

LoveArtDeco · 14/05/2016 18:18

I'm still waiting for the "logical", "rational" explanations; really I am. So far, I haven't been offered any, at least not any that I've been able to immediately refute. So, where are they

But that's the point. There isn't a rational explanation as far as I know (could be some mega clever professor with an explanation who knows) but why then immediately jump to the conclusion that it's a ghost? A dead relative? Why? There are so many odd things that happen in this world, shall we say they are all caused by ghosts? Why not accept that there is something odd going on, with no explanation as yet but maybe there will be sometime in the future. I think you want it to be a ghost so therefore you've convinced yourself that it is.

expatinscotland · 14/05/2016 18:29

We used to have great woo threads on here. Then all the po-faced, earnest cunts came and spoiled it all.

Makesomethingupyouprick · 14/05/2016 18:33

The mind can play tricks on us. It can make people see things and hear things that aren't there. It can cause pregnancy symptoms in people who aren't pregnant. It can cause people to have seizures, be blind or paralysed with no physical cause.

The placebo effect is so well recognised (the belief that taking a medication will result in improvement in physical or mental health symptoms is so strong it creates an improvement) that a placebo group is always included in clinical trials of new medications.

The mind can create experiences so intense and real that your physical body changes so yes, it can make you believe that you've seen/heard something that didn't happen. Particularly if your belief is based on a psychological 'need' to believe it.

So if you think someone you know who is dead and you loved (or even if someone told you X lived in your house and died) and is communicating with you, you want to believe that and you do. So when you 'ask' for signs you get them. Your concious mind is invested in that, your subconscious mind creates it for you. For millenia there has been a belief that people who can see/communicate with spirits are special. They used to hold high positions in society and still do in many cultures so add in 'specialness' and that increases desire to believe.

People who believe that a drug is making them better often get better. If you tell people half way through a medical trial that they're receiving placebo, their improvement in symptoms drops even if they're being given the real drug.

In our culture we've believed in ghosts for so many centuries that it's ingrained and therefore will always be considered by some people as an option in explaining things.

If some of the posters here came along and said ' I believe I'm possessed by a demon or cursed by a witch because this happened' we'd say no. We'd say you misinterpreted it or whatever. Because our culture left belief in demonic possession and witchcraft behind a long time ago. But some of the experiences listed here would have been seen as proof of such in the past.

But it's still very much alive in others. And we condemn it. When we hear about people being beaten to remove spirits or children ostracised or even murdered because they communicated with spirits, electrical devices malfunctioned in their presence witnesses by others, people saw ghosts or heard noises or got ill because of them or whatever nonsense we say ' bollocks, evil spirits, possession or witches don't exist'.

Our culture thought numerous people in the past were witches, demons, vampires or werewolves. We think it ridiculous now. But we still hold on to a little belief in the possibility of ghosts so it's offered as an explanation with no evidence.

In time that'll change.

araiba · 14/05/2016 18:34

I don't think a god-fearing Christian would take too kindly to you likening their religious belief to woo.

tough

they are the one and the same

an irrational belief in something that doesnt exist

and no, you cant prove a negative, the onus is on those making the claim to prove it and noone has or can prove the existence of gods, fairies, ghosts, unicorns, spaghetti monsters etc

araiba · 14/05/2016 18:40

also, "i cant explain it, it must be ghosts" is fantastic reasoning

what if dragons are the cause? or unicorns? or the loch ness monster? how can you dismiss them?

LoveArtDeco · 14/05/2016 18:54

Exactly araiba

AdrenalineFudge · 14/05/2016 19:14

expatinscotland You mean all the people with their entire selves in reality?
I don't begrudge the woo amongst us a thread but perhaps preface it with a disclaimer that allows the rest of us with our senses about us to steer clear of it.

expatinscotland · 14/05/2016 19:18

'I don't begrudge the woo amongst us a thread but perhaps preface it with a disclaimer that allows the rest of us with our senses about us to steer clear of it.'

What more of a disclaimer do you need? The title is about a haunted house. Anyone with sense who doesn't believe in such things would shrug and click on something else, surely? Hmm

AdrenalineFudge · 14/05/2016 19:29

That was a tongue in cheek comment as I don't think adults should be perpetuating these sort of myths. If something can't be explained with a rationality then the next assumption should not be ghosts.

liz70 · 14/05/2016 19:30

"Then all the po-faced, earnest cunts came and spoiled it all."

I thought you were referring to me! Grin

expatinscotland · 14/05/2016 19:35

But there's loads of such threads on here, there's even a few floating round for the conspiracy theory loons people. Just leave 'em to their beliefs and read it for a larf.

Makesomethingupyouprick · 14/05/2016 19:39

But why would people who don't necessarily believe in what was being said have to avoid it?. I think there's a big difference between posting on a thread to say 'it's bollocks' with no alternative but it's possible posters can offer numerous alternatives to what the poster believes without being offensive or rude.

Yes the title says 'haunted house' but doesn't mean that people who don't believe that is possible shouldn't post. Otherwise, people don't hear alternative explanations.

Unless posters don't really believe in it at all and just want a 'lighthearted' thread for amusing camp - fire ghost stories. But this thread doesn't seem to be that.

DioneTheDiabolist · 14/05/2016 19:44

Makesomething, everyone's bar for what constitutes proof is different. So even if a ghost popped up on live TV, those who believe in ghosts would say "I told you so", those who don't would say "It's not a ghost because ghosts don't exist" and put it down to camera trickery or say (as pps on this thread have), "Just because it can't be explained, doesn't mean it's a ghost because ghosts don't exist".

liz70 · 14/05/2016 19:53

"The mind can create experiences so intense and real that your physical body changes so yes, it can make you believe that you've seen/heard something that didn't happen. Particularly if your belief is based on a psychological 'need' to believe it."

Am I to take it that the human mind can also make objects move, sometimes in locked, empty rooms? And please don't patronise me by claiming that I only thought that they did, because that is bullshit, and anyone who tries that line is themself the deluded one, sticking their fingers and refusing to listen or concede for just one second that that person might just be telling the truth, simply because it doesn't fit in with their comprehension.

As for any claims that of a "psychological need", that is also bull, because I spent the early years when this was happening trying to push away the idea that it was ADC, and even more particularly, that it was ADC from this particular person, because I knew perfectly well that I would receive ridicule for it. It wasn't until after several years of persistent activity , during which time I began to document every event, time and date, that I finally accepted and acknowledged it, that the relative calm that I have now, was achieved. Not for years did I dare talk to anybody IRL about it, until I at last confided in a close friend of this person, and was immediately accepted and offered her own comparative experiences.

DioneTheDiabolist · 14/05/2016 20:07

YY Expat. There used to be brilliant woo threads, but po faced puritans have done their best to put an end to them.Sad

Makesomethingupyouprick · 14/05/2016 20:13

Dione - can you provide any evidence of a ghost occurring on TV?. As they're so powerful to the point they can create a physical presence despite being dead there would be no doubt surely?

What you're suggesting is that it would be so vague 'a shadow, a change in light or an 'orb' that there could be doubt. So that's not a case of people having a different bar for what is proof. That's some people having a bizarre belief that shadows or tricks of the light or dust balls are spirits.

The bar for what is proof in all other areas of life is much higher than 'this is what I think/believe'. Why doesn't it apply for ghosts?. Apparently they can't perform in lab conditions or before cameras.

I want proof to be proof so I want to see it or there be other irrefutable evidence. So if I see the ghost of Terry Wogan wander onto the set of Eurovision tonight, sat down for a chat and he's filmed and everyone else sees it then yes, I just might believe in ghosts though this would never happen.

And I'm not saying that to be difficult but if you told me you had a noisy neighbour, you couldn't record it, no-one else complained and it didn't happen when I came round your house to check it out then I couldn't 100% say it wasn't happening but I'd confidently say it wasn't (and the 1% doubt wouldn't be because I thought it was a ghost).

araiba · 14/05/2016 20:20

has the op actually seen anything move?

or just stuff that she may have "misremembered" where it was?

the fact that kids are in the house is a more likely explanation of most stuff moving or turning stuff off/on

DioneTheDiabolist · 14/05/2016 20:22

It wouldn't matter if it was 18feet high TW, standing in front of the stage and announced it's name and that it was a ghost. Those who do not believe would continue to not believe giving the reasons I mentioned above.

Would you believe it was a ghost? Or would be more inclined to believe it was a tribute to Terry or a technician having a laugh?