To want to find a lovely baby group

[glueandstick]

Not one in a miserable hall. Not one with awful chipped mugs and undrinkable tea. Not one with ridiculous competitive parenting. Not one in a rammed coffee shop where you are clearly in the way as people buy the minimum and sit for hours (independent shops make me most angry. It is these people's livelihoods). Not one with filthy toys. Not one with people who judge you for not doing x y z. Not one where you're made up feel like shit because you still want a bit of yourself. And not one where a bunch of utter weirdos are who turn up at your house unannounced and think you're besties when you hardly know them. Or spend their time reeling off parenting information that you just don't bloody want.

Just one in nice comfortable surroundings with good coffee, a laugh and some company. With nice normal people.

And just to add.

Not one where every other conversation is trying to sign you up to some bloody awful MLM scam.

Where are you? I'd be happy to add you to one of the groups I host.

Why don't you start one? Then you could have a selection procedure.
Filter out those 'weirdos'

Where are you based? We have some fantastic ones in the Newcastle area. I've never once felt uncomfortable & I'm usually socially inept!

Why not start one?
Although I think in some do your points you are being picky.

Church halls are cheap or free, cups get chipped (who is going to pay to replace them) and tea is often crap at any group event.

I always prefer the sure start ones because people seem more normal there. I used to go to a young parents one and it was lovely, and the coffee was OK. I think it was nicer because it was quite small so not too cliquey

You think it's normal for someone to turn up at your house repeatedly and constantly message you?

South west. But I hear the shopping is good in Newcastle so would probably make the effort to come ;)

You should start one of your own. I help run one that's been going for over 20 years. My youngest is 8 but no other selfish bugger wants to run it so on I go week.in week out for no thanks. Sooooo good luck.

I quite liked a sure start one I went to. Best thing though was meeting a couple of like minded women (we bonded over eye-rolling at 'wind the bloomin bobbin up') and just inviting
them over for coffee one day. Became great friends and the children were friends until school age (when we moved). We branched out from baby groups to going for walks, farm trips, picnics etc when they were older.

I don't mind paying to go to a group at all if it means it's a pleasant afternoon out.

I would start a group if I wasn't trying to juggle this parenting lark with starting a business (no it isn't that aloe Vera crap)

I'll just add- a group where the word 'Hun' isn't allowed.

To be honest, if I were magically transported back four years to my son's babyhood, I would skip the baby groups entirely. They were a fairly straightforwardly mildly miserable experience.

Ds is 8 months and I tried a couple I never fitted in, one group I quote I was too posh and probably not right for me the next one was mums that do xyz and not the mum I hope I am.
DH on the other hand takes him to a dad and baby group in the villages once a week a loves it

If you were slightly less snobby about the whole thing and take them as you find them (and don't give out your number or address you may find a hidden gem of a person that grows into a really great friend.

Start your own then and good luck with the finance, insurance and commitment.

Where in the south west are you? I'm somewhere in the south west and go to some fantastic groups! But there are so many on around here and some are awful, so you really do have to try a few out

OP you sound like me!

I live in Canada, you can come to mine if you want!

Good coffee, no pressure, lots of trees, non competitive parenting because nobody knows what they are doing!

But realistically try another one - chances are you'll meet someone you can get on board with.

where in the south west are you op?

our group run out of a shabby village hall, but it's got to be the prettiest village in the world so we don't care.

the coffee is pretty good and it's a teeny group. 6 mums or dads would be a big turn out. everyone is lovely and supportive and kind. I just love it.

I'll clarify by the crap hall.

I'm not loving the filthy sofa in a farm shed thing.

I may be a raging snob as some of you think I am, but surely there are groups for all types. We can't all like the same things. What is the point spending hours with people you don't really get on with and feeling like a failure when you've left?

And yes, Canada sounds like a great plan. Your coffee is extremely good so that is worth the flight alone.

I'm in the wilts and glos region.

We have one. It's in a coffee shop but they have a large slightly sunken area in a corner that they clear chairs and tables to the sides before we arrive and they store 3 bags of mats and toys for us. We put the toys out and clear them away.

Its a lovely place, the only issue is the number of prams- we try and mitigate this by encouraging sling use- several mums from the sling library attend to show them off!

I go to a great one in north Wiltshire - homemade cakes every week too!

oooh you're quite near me op.

but probably not near enough that you'd bother with our group.

I hope you find one that's a good fit.

Right you lot. Tell me where they are and I shall attend. I have been known to drive 80 miles for a donut before.

You say home made cake. This sounds veerrrryyyy interesting

Same. I take DS to one but I really don't fit in with the other mums. They're all lovely people but I just feel awkward. I'm not into coffee mornings and play dates so I don't think I'll find anywhere.