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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off with my new neighbour

48 replies

BG2015 · 11/05/2016 21:28

We live in a three storey town house. 2 adults 2 teenagers.

We're out all day at work and school, all asleep by 11pm at the latest.

The house next to us has been empty for 6 months until Friday when a single guy moved in. We said hello on Saturday and introduced ourselves. He's in his 30's. We privately questioned why a single bloke had bought a 4 bed roomed town house on a predominantly family estate - none of our business of course but I wouldn't live here if I was single. The house on the other side of us has a family living in it. We can hear them going up and down their stairs but never heard a TV, music or talking.

Anyway tonight at about 8.30 the new neighbour knocked on the door and asked us to turn our music down. It wasn't particularly loud, my partner and I could still have a conversation and we'd only been playing the music for about 15 minutes as we'd both just got in from the gym.

I'm quite a tolerant person and music doesn't bother me ( I live with 2 teenagers after all) if it had been after 11pm and we'd been playing it for hours then fair enough, but it literally been on for 15 minutes. He said he couldn't hear his TV but when he knocked on he was still wearing his work suit.

Am I being over sensitive or has an awkward bugger moved in next door?

OP posts:

ScarletForYa · 11/05/2016 21:31

That's weird!

What did you say to him?

ShatnersBassoon · 11/05/2016 21:31

You can watch TV wearing a suit

Was he aggressive or reasonably calm and friendly?

Original poster

BG2015 · 11/05/2016 21:35

I know you can watch TV wearing a suit but surely it's comfier to take it off.

He was very nice and so was I.

But if you don't want to hear noise don't buy a town house surrounded by kids. There are dozens of them living here!

OP posts:

Sistedtwister · 11/05/2016 21:36

Oh I had one of these, slightest hint of music and she was braying on the walls. If you can have a normal conversation without shouting then it's not too loud. I'd just tell him that if he wanted silent he should have bought detached. However are your speakers on the floor / against the wall. That may be making the sound travel through.

On a side note the slightly strange people behind us were loudly singing hymns at 5am. Now that's bloody annoying

Littlepeople12345 · 11/05/2016 21:37

I don't understand why you've commented about his suit

I'd have said no, music on at 8:30 is not unreasonable at all.

Are you sure there's no partner and baby?

Original poster

BG2015 · 11/05/2016 21:38

We've got a small Bose portable speaker and it was on the opposite wall to him.

Now I'm worrying that the other neighbours may think we're noisy because I've had it on much louder than tonight. But they've never said anything.

OP posts:

Witchinghours · 11/05/2016 21:39

If he couldn't hear his TV, then your music was too loud. Are your speakers next to a party wall?

YABU to be cross, but sounds like you were nice and accommodating when he asked for volume down.

Original poster

BG2015 · 11/05/2016 21:40

No there's only him. I asked him on Saturday if he'd got any children and he said "no it's just me"

I've never had issues with neighbours before, I'm just hoping he isn't going to a pain.

OP posts:

Summerwood1 · 11/05/2016 21:42

I'm assuming it's a newish build. The problem with new builds is that the walls are so thin and you can hear everything. Our last house was a new build. The noise was so bad that we bought a detached house.

tabulahrasa · 11/05/2016 21:42

How are the settings on it...my neighbours play music all day, it's horrendous and you can't do anything in the living room while it's on.

The thing is, it's actually not that loud, but the bass is and that's what carries anyway...

mistlethrush · 11/05/2016 21:45

It depends how quiet he had his TV on, and how loud your conversation was.

I have leaned out of my bedroom window with a long piece of dowling (long story!) and knocked on next door's window as I could hear every word of his music and it was 11.30pm and we had been asleep in the adjoining room... that's a bit different!!!!

Original poster

BG2015 · 11/05/2016 21:48

I think it was maybe the bass that he could hear. I do like listening to a bit of music though but shall be worrying now.

I'll have to play it whilst he's out.

OP posts:

echt · 11/05/2016 21:49

If it happens again, ask can you go into his house to listen to the sound.

If your Bose portable speaker is like mine, then it is powerful.

BYOSnowman · 11/05/2016 21:52

My parents live in a flat and the bass travels from all over the block. It can be extremely irritating and you can feel it as well as hear it. Loud music without the bass is much less annoying.

Cubtrouble · 11/05/2016 21:54

Turn down the bass on your bose speaker- they are notoriously "bassy" (and very good) if that makes sense. There should be something you can do so it's still nice to listen to but the sound won't travel as much.

Longdistance · 11/05/2016 21:54

Tel him to buy a detached... it's heavenly

MargaretCavendish · 11/05/2016 21:59

"We privately questioned why a single bloke had bought a 4 bed roomed town house on a predominantly family estate - none of our business of course but I wouldn't live here if I was single."

You're right, it is none of your business. And the fact you bought it up, alongside your comments on him wearing his suit (I'm not even sure what you're implying here?) incline me towards his side...

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 11/05/2016 21:59

It's a little OTT for 15 minutes of music.

I wonder if it's because he's there on his own so he's not making his own noise (so yours is more noticeable). We're in a terrace and if I'm home alone I can easily hear next door yelling at the kids speaking and any music. I just put my own music on (not loud) which blocks it out.

Maybe adjust the bass on the speakers but other than that I wouldn't really adjust how you live (assuming you're not hellishly loud )

Is he mid terrace or are you his only attached neighbours?

HostaFireandIce · 11/05/2016 22:00

On the plus side, we used to have neighbours who had frequent screaming matches, played loud music and had parties that went on until 4am. I'd have swapped for a polite chap in a suit knocking to say that our music was a bit loud!

Spudlet · 11/05/2016 22:01

Best thing to do is to talk to him, I'd suggest. If it is a new build, the walls are likely paper thin, as a pp said. So it might be worth having an experiment with him to see how loud you can go without disturbing him.

We've been on the other side of this situation. We are very quiet people, to be fair, so we do hear things! This was a real issue in our current house when we moved in, as our then neighbour had dementia and was sundowning, taking his hearing aids out and pumping up the volume until well after midnight, to the extent that you could not only hear his tv but identify the programme from the street, never mind in our house. How his wife managed to sleep I don't know - it was awful. We tried earplugs and white noise but we could still hear it.

So we went round with cake and talked to them about it, and we had a play around with the volume to see what worked (we didn't expect monastic silence but it was beyond a joke). And we installed soundproofing on the party wall.

GhostofFrankGrimes · 11/05/2016 22:10

if you can hear your other neighbours simply going up the stairs the sound insulation sounds poor. New build by any chance? If so, you'll have to acccept this and moderate your noise accordingly.

MistressMerryWeather · 11/05/2016 22:21

I agree it's probably not the music but the bass. That 'boinngg boinng' noise can be really annoying.

Have a fiddle with the settings.

Notcontent · 11/05/2016 22:31

I wouldn't mind because it would indicate to me that he was unlikely to be very noisy!!! That's important when you live in a terrace house....

Bailey101 · 11/05/2016 22:35

He might have had bad problems with previous neighbours and he's now panicking in case he's gone from the frying pan into the fire.

I had an awful neighbour a few years ago (blaring music all night, tv so loud I could tell what film he was watching, etc) and it got bad I had nose measuring equipment and the police were attending on a regular basis. He got evicted eventually, but my life was so miserable and it made me ill for months. He's long gone now, but I still get tense if I hear neighbour noise, and music from passing cars makes me feel nauseous.

If he's had problem neighbours before, he could be reacting to any noise and having a freak out in case it's going to happen again. It also might explain why he's living in a family oriented estate as opposed to a city centre bachelor pad.

I'm not saying your a problem family at all, but he doesn't know that yet and he's maybe feeling like he has to establish that he won't get forced from his home again.

Or I might be completely off the mark, and he's just looking for a moan

amarmai · 11/05/2016 22:36

good thing none of you live in the slice of a townhouse condo i am in! They are slotted together like rubics cubes! So not just a neighbour on the side or above or below -every room has a different neighbour, as they also are built back to back ! So i can hear 2 sets of thundering footsteps going up and down stairs for 2 different condos AND i can hear 4-yes 4 ! different toilets - from different rooms of course. It's truly amazing how much noise my brain has learned to say 'ignore keep on sleeping.' Yes . op, tell him to get a detached bungalow in the country preferably.

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