AIBU to say no to 'holiday'

[niceguy2]

My wife & I are in quite a fortunate position insofar as I earn a good income and have a side income from a business which is doing OK. My wife gave up her job in Feb due to stress of the position. A decision I supported as I could see how unhappy she was but at the same time I warned that whilst we'd be OK financially, until she found a new job that we'd have to cut back on the luxuries.

Last month my DD managed to get into Uni and will go in Sept. Due to my income, she won't be eligible for anything except the minimum loans which won't even cover her rent. The rest we'll be expected to fund. I don't have an issue with that. It's something I realised when she was born that I'd probably have to fund one day.

This morning my wife has put pressure on me by saying she wants to go visit her family who live abroad in the summer. I explained that we'd have to see how money is nearer the time but that doesn't seem to be good enough for her. And that it's all a matter of priorities. She's right. And it's not my priority right now to fund a trip abroad for us all whilst she's not working and we are down 1/3 of our monthly income. Obviously she's not happy about that.

Given we've only just come back from a week's break when her family came to visit us that cost us a fair bit, I'm reeling a bit. I'm just worried right now how we will cope with funding DD through Uni if she is still not working.

All would be OK if she got a job but since Feb my wife has managed to apply for absolutely no jobs. Yesterday she managed to show me her CV which looks great, as it should for 2.5 months work. If she was applying for jobs then I could maybe see that in time she'd get a job and we'd be OK again.

I don't even mind what job it is or how much it pays. My income pays for our usual living expenses and my side income could fund DD through Uni if my wife works. But it can't do that AND go on holidays. Of course she doesn't see it as a holiday but frankly that's exactly what it is.

So AIBU?

And I drink plenty of champagne, I can afford plenty of holidays and all with the satisfaction that I'm not a lazy bitch.

The DD has some responsibility here too - whilst eduation is important so is the ability to earn and keep your own budget - she should be looking for pt work to help offset the cost - not just expecting Dad to foot the bill

All you want op, is for your family to live within their means. Nothing wrong with that.

Lovely to know that all women currently without paid work are lazy bitches. Do you say that to their faces or just behind their backs, anonymously?

Not, not quite the same as sitting on a beach in Tenerife, but they've just come back from a holiday away with the same relatives when they were over visiting and were no doubt speaking the language then (albeit to a lesser degree as they would if they were in a country where it was spoken). Language development is a nice thing to do but not at the expense of the family finances.

Anyway, OP has already explained that his wife and son will go and his DD will be staying to work, as will he.

I just found the implication that OPs wife was going there to see her family and the DS was just tagging along for a holiday a bit ... i dunno ... off.

Sort of lumping their son and his daughter together.

Of course the trip would be less of a priority for his daughter; the people aren't her family. The son would be going to see the rest of his maternal family again. Which must be nice for him.

That's all.

FWIW I didnt find the use of the word 'holiday' offensive?

If he'd have called it a 'jolly', that would have been a loaded term. If he'd called it a 'trip', would that have been more sensitive? I don't read that the OPs intent in using the 'h' word was for it be a pejorative. His reported follow-up actions support that I think?

I love the English language. We all use it a bit differently. That's what makes it so vibrant :)

...actually, the word holiday was wrapped in inverted commas. Therefore I dunno the author's intent - could have been struggling for the 'right' term? Forget I spoke on that one - Re-Read TFT Lupo.

I think what the OP has followed through with is what matters here though, to be quite honest.

And read my post carefully - the reason I enjoy working hard for my champagne and holidays is so that I don't feel like a lazy bitch.

That's all - why would you think otherwise?

I don't think his son is also his wife's son iyswim. Could be wrong.