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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Super embarrassed- I have farted loudly in front of DP

164 replies

Nicebucket · 09/05/2016 12:32

Ok, so maybe I know IABU

BUT I am mortified.

I've had some gynae issues recently and the side effect of the issues and meds has been a slight tummy upset

DP and I have recently started living together (about a couple months ago) and so far it's been smooth sailing.

Unfortunately, last night I farted in my sleep. I think it was loud too!!!

I was semi- sleeping so kinda woke up and DP just giggled and patted my head.

We even had sex this morning- neither of us brought it up and he hasn't said anything:

But I'm still mortified and can't stop thinking about it.
He did ask me casually if I had left my phone on because a noise woke him up.

What if the noise was my fart?! How horrifying would that be! I farted loud enough to wake my bf up. Kill me now

OP posts:

CornishGinger · 11/05/2016 20:11

I probs spent a good couple of months at the start holding them in, but seriously when you start living with someone you can't really hide it can you? I certainly can't be bothered to go in to another room to fart! My DH and I have been married for 6 years and it's really not a issue, in fact I even laugh afterwards. He's seen me give birth twice, held a bucket for my puke whilst sitting on the toilet with an upset stomach a good few times(prone to stomach bugs). He hasn't left me yet and still wants to have sex with me...so it's all good

LightHouser · 11/05/2016 20:22

I'm very windy and avoid farting in front of my hubby, who've I've been with for nearly a decade, at all costs. However I also know that a fart loudly and sometimes whiffely all night long every night. He's a gentleman and has never mentioned it, but he must know.

Annoyingly I have NEVER heard him fart, not once! But when he occasionally spends an hour in the bathroom apparently disposing of several dead wildebeest I never mention the smell, and if I need a wee I hold on as long as I can so he doesn't need to feel embarrassed that I've gone in to the bathroom too soon after him.

Silly really :-)

EverySecondCounts · 11/05/2016 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lissa90 · 11/05/2016 20:32

Nice bucket - I feel your pain! The first time I let one slip, we had been living together for four months. I physically hid in my embarrassment and refused to surface for a while! He went as far as to say he was proud of me - Like wtf?! but it break down one of those walls but I wasn't rushing to repeat it again!

MistressMerryWeather · 11/05/2016 20:34

Reminds me of my friend who farted in front of her boyfriend for the first time. She panicked, grabbed a pillow and held it over his face squeaking 'OHMYGOD DON'T SMELL IT'.

He was in stitches.

Poor guy was almost smothered to death because of a fart.

sepa · 11/05/2016 20:35

Aww. I remember my first fart in front of DP 10 years ago let it go man is what he said after I kept leaving the room. Probably regrets it now but DD (10 weeks) is the master of farts! if only my labour was as dignified as my most smelliest & loudest fart

2ManySweets · 11/05/2016 20:43

To add to my earlier post, sepa thanks for reminding me that my adorable 12w old DD farts like a trouper, which sets me off giggling, which makes me fart, and on it goes....

Ps: I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life 💨

Teabag2 · 11/05/2016 20:46

Totally agree EverySecondCounts after childbirth a cheeky pump is hardly going to end a relationship! My husband literally had to catch DS in a towel while I was standing up convinced I was constipated after being in labour for 30 minutes - obviously unplanned at home.

randomer · 11/05/2016 20:47

blimey I CAN'T hold it in

sepa · 11/05/2016 20:50

2manysweets she also has perfect timing. DP let one go just before bed the other night. DD then proceeded to do a louder fart. He then said he couldn't believe his DD had out done him.

DD is currently asleep on me so I am going to have to refrain from reading this until she is in her Moses basket as I fear my laughing will wake her up

IllBeAtTheBarIfYouNeedMe · 11/05/2016 20:51

This happened to me over the weekend. I kind of moved whilst we were chatting in bed and it kind of fell out of me all loud and proud. He looked at me as if to ask if that was the dog. I just said 'pardon me' and he looked at me with such joy on his face that I couldn't help but laugh. And then he thanked me and cheered . I think he felt terrible dropping farts over the past few weeks and he hadn't had a peep from me

I'd been getting away with silent ones for the previous 4 months

LightHouser · 11/05/2016 21:09

MistressMerryWeather that made me snort! :-)

Teabag2 it's great to hear the phrase 'cheeky pump'... we grew up calling them pumps at home but at school I quickly learnt to say fart or I'd be ridiculed.

I have to add to my previous comment, I've just realised that not only have I never heard hubby fart and he has heard me, he's cleared up my sick after me drinking too much and watched me give not a feck about anything bodily during 14 hour labour. This is totally unbalanced...!

Unicorntrainer · 11/05/2016 21:31

One night he will do a fart that wakes you up! That's what couples do. He will come home from a boys' night and throw up, and you will have to clean it up with good humour and he will be mortified. You are now learning the true meaning of 'close'. That is nothing compared to giving birth in front of him, but you won't care. Glad everything has been going so well for you. If it bothers you, make a joke of it, laugh it off together, and have a lovely life with him x

CandyCrusher · 11/05/2016 22:02

Christ, it's only a fart. I have no qualms about letting them go if I need to. With my windy arse, if I held them in every time I was around DH I'd blow up.

LuluJakey1 · 11/05/2016 22:16

I was never an open farter, always silent. However, pregnancy changed that. Wind was a huge side effect. I could not control it and it just had to be free. I lost my inhbitions. ☺️ DH was just amused.

SandyMcSandface · 11/05/2016 22:39

I'm so impressed you went so far through a relationship without farting to be honest

SandyMcSandface · 11/05/2016 22:41

Hang on Teabag how long??!!

MissPunnyMany · 11/05/2016 22:44

I remember the first night DH (then DP) stayed over. The next morning he went to the loo which was next to the bedroom for a wee. When he wees, he farts....long, loud, constant farts. I was disgusted actually It's just what he does. He's a farter. I lay there deciding whether to mention this 'early morning brass band' or not, and I think I just fronted it out.

A couple of weeks later I had a dreadful stomach ache in the night whilst still half-asleep. The sort where the pain comes on as you dream then you wake up in agony. He woke me up and asked if I needed a peppermint tea for my tummy. I thought I must have been moaning in my sleep in pain and was just overwhelmed with love for this kind, thoughtful man who knew I was in pain even though we were both asleep. Turns out that I had let out a fart so horrendous it had woken him up

To be honest it was good to get it out of the way. He taught me to light my farts after that. Absolutely hilarious. Disclaimer: Wear jeans before trying it. It's very, very funny though

Since then he's seen me 'shart'...that was humiliating.....and like a PP I had really bad food poisoning once and was on the toilet with a bucket and both ends jet-streaming out. Simultaneous vomit and diarrhea every 20 minutes on the button.

I've fanny-farted during oral before too. That's horribly embarrassing

Get comfy, he'll be farting in front of you now. The floodgates have opened!

cuddlemonkey2016 · 11/05/2016 22:48

Ready for this... Me and my husband have been married ten years and he has never farted in front of me

Purple52 · 11/05/2016 22:51

I can't believe you have moved in with each other without "being on farting terms"!!

DontDeadOpenInside · 11/05/2016 23:51

Dh and I were sitting in the garden late this afternoon and I needed to fart.. I'm not shy about it but the gardener was cutting the lawn.. (were not posh by the way, it's too big for me to cut and dh can't due to disability) and I thought it was going to be a silent one but oh no.. it nearly launched me out of my seat. We looked at each other and just cracked up. Dont know if the gardener heard.. he didn't say if he did haha!

IloveCliveBixby · 12/05/2016 05:47

On our first proper date, dp made me laugh and I machine gun farted, loudly. It went on for ages and I couldn't stop laughing. I was MORTIFIED.

We are getting married now. Well, it was either that or kill him

BoxofSnails · 12/05/2016 06:08

We've always had a pretty laid back relationship. Prepared us well for one of us ending up with an emergency ileostomy and the other helping clean the bed, the bathroom, and lots of towels at all sorts of inconvenient times.

Life is too short and too precious to sweat this sort of thing. DH still loves me just as much, including physically, with the dreaded bag than he did without. Upside is that I don't fart anymore!

belgina · 12/05/2016 08:36

I never even thought that farts would be something to be embarrassed about with the person you live with and intend to stay with for the rest of your life. He/she has seen you naked, drunk, hungover, ill, vomitting, crying big slobbery snotty buckets full of tears, ... What's a fart in comparison to that?

PregnantAndEngaged · 12/05/2016 11:35

I was embarrassed in the first year, but after that, all dignity went out the window :D

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