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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Super embarrassed- I have farted loudly in front of DP

164 replies

Nicebucket · 09/05/2016 12:32

Ok, so maybe I know IABU

BUT I am mortified.

I've had some gynae issues recently and the side effect of the issues and meds has been a slight tummy upset

DP and I have recently started living together (about a couple months ago) and so far it's been smooth sailing.

Unfortunately, last night I farted in my sleep. I think it was loud too!!!Blush

I was semi- sleeping so kinda woke up and DP just giggled and patted my head.

We even had sex this morning- neither of us brought it up and he hasn't said anything:

But I'm still mortified and can't stop thinking about it.
He did ask me casually if I had left my phone on because a noise woke him up.

What if the noise was my fart?! How horrifying would that be! I farted loud enough to wake my bf up. Kill me now

OP posts:
AnotherPrickInTheWall · 09/05/2016 23:56

What is so gross about farting? doesn't everyone break wind ( except HRH)?
I'm told my nocturnal emissions are sound braking.

AnotherPrickInTheWall · 09/05/2016 23:57

breaking lol

ArmySal · 10/05/2016 00:24

I've prided myself on the fact I've never farted in front of DP in 15 years, until 3 years ago when I actually woke myself up doing one which sounded like a motorbike going flat out.

I was mortified and stayed as still as I could, hoping I hadn't woken him. When I was sure he was asleep, I closed my eyes thinking thank God!

He then let out a little laugh and then was shaking uncontrollably, and admitted I fart regularly in my sleep, big, loud rasping ones Blush

Must be because I hold them in most of the time...

DandelionGarden · 10/05/2016 00:58

Not read the whole thread yet. This thread has had me crying with laughter.

I love this post by gymboy

i have been married twenty years. My husband had to follow me with a cloth and a bottle of dettol when i had food poisoning so bad that the poo was running in rivers down my legs when i tried to get to the bathroom. he has cleaned up vomit and seen me give birth. if you are in it for the long haul a fart is nothing.

There's something really sweet about that scenario that made me think about the fact that true love lies in moments like this where we allow our partners to see us at our most vulnerable and they respond with love and care. In a way more romantic than the grand gestures or chocolates and flowers Grin.

My XH was really uptight about women farting and their general bodily functions, I tried to hide the fact that I farted, would hold it or leave the room and didn't once fart in front of him for the 13 years we were together. I felt ashamed every time I did a smelly poo and would often wait until he wasn't in the house or was asleep. A vivid memory from the birth of our third, was my XH walking past the end of the hospital bed to get to the toilet whilst our DD was crowning. I saw him pull a face of absolute disgust as he looked in the direction of my nethers. And I felt shame as I was giving birth SadAngry.

My current boyfriend is completely relaxed about these things and despite him pleading with me to feel comfortable enough to fart in front of him, and his many reassurances that it's normal and natural and that he won't be judging me, I still can't bring myself to do it.

I've done the whole farting loudly in my sleep and lay awake all night worrying he'd heard me and cringing but luckily he was asleep. But I do understand your reaction op.

However, this thread has encouraged me to be more relaxed and I hope it has you too op Flowers.

Off to read the rest now.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 10/05/2016 01:00

Bless you OP.

Mind you, I once asked DW why there were all those ads for trapped wind aimed at women. Did they have different digestive systems? When she finished laughing, she informed me that unlike men, women regard farting as embarassing rather than a form of self-expression.

Oops Blush

DandelionGarden · 10/05/2016 01:13

Caught up now. I'm nominating this for classics! Grin

Labbiemum16 · 10/05/2016 11:15

Thank you for making my day Nicebucket. I have tears in my eyes, this is absolutely hilarious, I bet he has been holding his in for ages, Look out now!!!

AdjustableWench · 10/05/2016 12:45

I was never a very windy person until I was prescribed new medication. The farting starts within ten minutes of taking it and goes on for several hours. And my partner almost never farts, the bastard. He claims he's not holding it in, which somehow makes it worse.

LordoftheTits · 11/05/2016 07:02

My DH farts constantly, I don't even blink now.

I've just remembered that I once accidentally farted in front of him while exercising. I was on the floor doing bicycle crunches with dumbbells and as I strained to lift the weight, I let out a massive fart. DH (then DP) whipped his head round like Shock and I yelped 'shut up!' and it was never spoken about again.

Another time I had an upset stomach and let out a silent one during the night. Unfortunately it smelled like Death's jockstrap and, to my horror, I heard a groggy, 'ugh, what the fuck is that?' so I told him that he'd farted. He apologised Blush

KittyKrap · 11/05/2016 07:43

I can't wait for the Daily Mail to make a feature out of this thread Grin

memyselfandaye · 11/05/2016 11:02

Kitty I think almost every thread is started by their writers anyway

Fourfifthsof · 11/05/2016 14:02

When I was up the duff I was prescribed Lactulose for constipation. Now. If you want to talk wind, get your laughing gear around a dose of that and then wait 15 minutes. It was like the Whizzpopper song from the BFG in my house for the rest of my pregnancy. Grin

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 11/05/2016 18:28

The Picolax Thread

Probably the finest prose ever written on colonic shenanigans.

SlapACatFuckADuck · 11/05/2016 19:39

I've been with dp for nearly 4 years we've never farted in front of each other ynbu I'd be embarrassed to

Cath40t · 11/05/2016 19:40

Your bf is probably relieved. Now he doesn't have to hold them in or leave the room to fart now 😂
Could have been worse.....could have farted during sex!

Lucycharlotte1990 · 11/05/2016 19:46

Ah that's nothing try having ur first epileptic siezure in the middle of the night with ur oh asleep beside you and pissing the bed because you've lost all control over your muscles ... That's mortifying

Then when 26 weeks pregnant with my 2nd I woke oh up in middle of the night because my waters had gone but we spent 10 mins debating if it was my waters or if I'd pissed the bed again and He even said to the midwife on the phone " She just woke up and the bed was wet I'm pretty sure her waters have broke but she coulda pissed the bed wouldn't be the first time"

Your worried about a fartHmm

rd1709 · 11/05/2016 19:47

Some hilarious (and outrageous!) comments here

baggyleggings · 11/05/2016 19:49

I don't think I could have sex with someone I was too embarrassed to fart in my sleep in front of...

Cath40t · 11/05/2016 19:50

We have an ensuite bathroom....so in the morning when either one of us goes for a pee it's always accompanied by a fart of varying tones, volume and length, which is heard from the bedroom. Mine are always best because I'm sitting down.
We've been married for 23 years. We never used to be this free with our gasses. Everyone farts with their first pee don't they?

goshthatseemsalot · 11/05/2016 19:52

You're on farthing terms now! Box ticked.
Farting with confidence is an easily acquired skill.

2ManySweets · 11/05/2016 19:54

Darling OP I was exactly the same until Feb of this year. Fart free in front of DP, just to try and be mannerly, and if I'm honest "a lady".

I had my first child in Feb. Now every evening without fail it's a trump-a-thon. I just can't stop.

Bass-heavy ones
"snappy" ones
Looooooooong ones
Surprise ones (when laughing)
LOUD ONES
Quiet ones
Aromatic ones
Ones which have all of the above at once

2ManySweets · 11/05/2016 19:55

Ooops: posted too soon.

Basically, it's just the way it is now. And he and I are used to it. And we like it. So there! Fear not the farties x

atigerinmytank · 11/05/2016 20:02

I have a bowel condition that means I sometimes crap myself.... Like I did a few months ago.... In bed.... In the middle of the night. DH cleaned me up, sorted the bed out and tucked me back in a clean bed with a warm drink.

He loves me if I fart, piss myself, vomit, bleed or shit myself.....

weepat · 11/05/2016 20:05

I am very windy! Even during sex. But he loves me, I love him & it's a normal part of being human. Just accept it & move on.

RavioliOnToast · 11/05/2016 20:09

Me and DH were spooning the other night and I farted on his balls. For a fleeting moment I was slightly embarrassed, then soon got over it. Mine are always really really loud, but never smell! X

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