Super embarrassed- I have farted loudly in front of DP

[Nicebucket]

Ok, so maybe I know IABU

BUT I am mortified.

I've had some gynae issues recently and the side effect of the issues and meds has been a slight tummy upset

DP and I have recently started living together (about a couple months ago) and so far it's been smooth sailing.

Unfortunately, last night I farted in my sleep. I think it was loud too!!!

I was semi- sleeping so kinda woke up and DP just giggled and patted my head.

We even had sex this morning- neither of us brought it up and he hasn't said anything:

But I'm still mortified and can't stop thinking about it.
He did ask me casually if I had left my phone on because a noise woke him up.

What if the noise was my fart?! How horrifying would that be! I farted loud enough to wake my bf up. Kill me now

What's with all the delicate Victorian women on here? Fuckinghell, all this tee hee I don't think he heard stuff is pukesome. Its 2016, humans fart.

To want to keep some things private isn't Victorian, it's just wanting to keep things private.

I was a lady until DP put his ice cold foot in the small of my back one night. Seriously, it was like a sonic boom going off. After that I gave up being a lady. I blame him to this day for breaking my sphincter.

Me and my girlfriend send each others recorded fats on whatsapp

That obviously was supposed to be FARTS.

Now, I did try and keep them in for the first 12 years or so but we've been together for 23 years now. If I kept them all in I'd blow up like a balloon.

There is something really satisfying about letting a long, loud one go when you've needed to for ages... The release of pressure on the tum is like nothing else.

I give my girlfriend a small round of applause for particularly resonant ones.

My girlfriend once asked me why I was with her. I told her it was because her extra loud burp on the first date confirmed she was the dominant female in the immediate vicinity and therefore had mating rights.

11 years in and not once have I done this, thankfully. I cringe at bits of childbirth still (4dc) but no, I would die inside - my inhibitions are getting tighter with age and experience not looser. Oddly my dh is so lovely, I know he wouldn't care!

Being easily offended by farts, especially those done whilst asleep, would be a deal breaker for me.

To the posters who are happy for their DP's to see them giving birth but not hear them fart, I'm curious. How do you feel about farting, or worse, while giving birth?

Personally, I think Dh would be sending me to the doctors if he never heard me fart it's natural and partners should be able to be natural together.

Changing I don't think dp would have noticed if I did! He was too busy trying to help me get through a difficult labor and was very worried. He certainly wouldn't have mentioned it.

What happens in labour stays in labour

I nearly died in labour with three of them, he was more concerned about be bleeding to death. I was still more concerned about pooing after reading the stories on here! there is no logic to my inhibitions... they just 'are'.

"You know the romance has gone out of a marriage when the man farts in bed. You know the romance has really gone out of a marriage when the man farts in bed and shouts BURGLARS so his wife puts her head under the covers."

Mike Harding (I think) in one of his 1970s standup routines, this thread reminded me. If one of us is about to let rip "Burglars" is the warning call.

Dear God, thank goodness dh doesn't fart in bed!!!

If I hear dh fart in another part of the house I yell "GESUNDHEIT!!" really loudly.

I think you probably need to relax a bit. I have farted, burped, vomited and bled profusely in front of my partner. I couldn't bear to live with someone I couldn't fart in front of.

Farts are fun
I have a spaniel who does really pleasant smelling farts, kind of like real ale. I waft them towards me and more often than not she's under the duvet anyway which is even better.

I realise I'm not everyone's but luckily every pot has a lid

The first time my partner ever gave me oral sex, I sort of lost a control at the point of no return and did a massive fart. He has never mentioned it, but cannot have missed it, it was like a trombone.... I'm still mortified at the thought. ..

You are so sweet to worry about farting infront of your new dp. I just love those early months/years of a relationship when you just want everything to be wonderful. In a few years you will both be trumping like gooduns and not caring a jot.

Now he knows that not only the sun shines out of your ar*e but it has other musical skills too.
I always say to dh that as long as they are not smelly..........

Join me Newschmoo in a brew of shame

Is it because it's not ladylike?

It's because it stinks!

Unless I'm very unwell, I don't fart in front of my DP. In fact, I don't fart in front of anyone except DD

I grew up in a very repressed household though and I'm not a naturally windy person.

It's normal to feel a bit self conscious the first few times.

It's normal for some to find it utterly hilarious.

It's normal to not find it particularly hilarious.

I fart in front of my bf all the time and he to me. I wouldn't be able to be with someone if I couldn't fart in front of them, Im too gassy!