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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that a potty in a trolley is a step too far?

241 replies

homeiswheretheginis · 08/05/2016 22:55

Saw a woman with her two small girls going into the supermarket. She casually told the smallest to pop her potty in the trolley.

I felt sick. I try not to package vegetables etc, but rather put them unwrapped straight into the trolley in a bit to do my tiny bit for the planet. But never again. The idea of residual faeces in the trolley (having landed there when a potty was left there...) ending up on my food repulsed me.

AIBU or is that utterly revolting and unacceptable? Food goes in supermarket trollies, not receptacles for human waste...?

OP posts:

TaraCarter · 09/05/2016 13:50

Whenever my DD had to go to a public toilet, I was there to hold her. At home she had a special seat to help her. Never ever have I carried a portable potty. It was nappies to a toilet.

One DD? Never ever have you had twins, either.

if your child can't wait long enough to get to the nearest loo then they're not ready for training. Stick to nappies rather than being so stomach-churning

So, my children who could wait until they go to a toilet should have stayed in nappies for another two years until they were big enough to stay on a toilet seat?

OohMavis · 09/05/2016 13:50

human waste and food shopping were NOT in the same place, seriously, get a grip. It was cleaned plastic.

What's wrong with people and why haven't they all expired of cholera yet?

Because we have the facilities to wash our hands and food...?

DIYandEatCake · 09/05/2016 13:50

My dd was absolutely terrified of sitting on toilets for ages after potty training and would rather wet herself, so I used to take her potty out with us - to use in the toilets, she'd happily use it on the floor in the loos. I'm sure it went in a shopping trolley several times, though I always used to have it in a plastic bag. I would think a clean potty would be much less objectionable than some of the other things that could be put in trolleys. All the food is packaged/washable in a supermarket so it's not really going to come into contact with any nasties.

OohMavis · 09/05/2016 13:52

Maybe I'm too entrenched in the potty-training toddler years to see the outrage, but a clean potty in a shopping trolley is just not registering on my ick-radar. At all.

TaraCarter · 09/05/2016 13:53

I bet it was a new never-been-used one if it was in a trolley, just about to be bought. I kept ours in the pushchair or changing bag because I didn't want to be charged for our own property!

ronjo · 09/05/2016 13:54

Am I right in saying that the people who have done it see no problem but everyone else (majority) think its pretty revolting?

OohMavis · 09/05/2016 13:54

Plus, I do hope you never place packages of raw meat directly inside your shopping trolley, OP. The outside of those things are teeming with bacteria that could potentially make you very sick. Maybe you need to invest in one of those nifty trolley liners to ease your fears.

TaraCarter · 09/05/2016 13:58

I would think a clean potty would be much less objectionable than some of the other things that could be put in trolleys. All the food is packaged/washable in a supermarket so it's not really going to come into contact with any nasties.

Actually, that reminds me...

Packets of raw meat go in trolleys! www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/8279420/Outer-packaging-of-chicken-covered-in-bacteria-study-finds.html

"Food standards officials discovered that 40 per cent of packets of chicken in a range of supermarkets, convenience stores and butchers were covered with bacteria on the outside.

Of 20 packets of chicken studied, eight had food poisoning bacteria on their wrapping while seven chickens were contaminated inside the packet. One tested positive for salmonella.

Shoppers are now being warned to wash their hands after handling chicken cartons to combat the risk of catching the campylobacter bug which can induce vomiting, diarrhoea and abdominal pain."

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/05/2016 13:58

Yanbu

if the supermarket didn't have toilets then clearly said chikd was going to pee or pop I'm an aisle on the potty. and what did she plan to do with the full bag? carry around asda and finish shopping?

gross.

use a pull up. if your child can't make it to a loo.or an appropriate place they are not ready to be potty trained.

inside a supermarket is not an appropriate place.

WellErrr · 09/05/2016 13:58

It's disgusting.

And if a child is not reliable enough to walk round the supermarket they need to either be in a nappy or at home.

I've never had to take a potty out and about. Just stay in for two or three days until the job is done. If they still can't go half an hour after that, then they're not ready.

WhoDrewOnTheWall · 09/05/2016 14:19

Am I right in saying that the people who have done it see no problem but everyone else (majority) think its pretty revolting?

I've never done it, never carried a potty or seat outside of the house, and I don't see it as revolting. I see it as nothing to do with me and certainly nothing to get so worked up about.

Clandestino · 09/05/2016 14:36

One DD? Never ever have you had twins, either.

I would like to believe that twins wouldn't be prone to going to the toilet absolutely urgently at the same time and can wait for a minute till the first one finishes. I've seen identically clothed twins but hopefully they are not synchronized in toilet matters.
Btw, at the age of 3 my DD was well capable of supporting herself on a grown up toilet by gripping the seat. I just put in some paper so she doesn't have to touch the seat itself.
It looks like the whole Britain isn't equipped with a kids toilet, not even big shopping malls and all parents of toddlers have to carry portable potties with them so their children down fall down into the toilet. What a sad picture this makes.

SouperSal · 09/05/2016 14:47

If they still can't go half an hour after that, then they're not ready

I'm nearly 40 and I'd struggle - even before having babies - to hold it for half an hour!

TaraCarter · 09/05/2016 14:56

I would like to believe that twins wouldn't be prone to going to the toilet absolutely urgently at the same time and can wait for a minute till the first one finishes.

Well, "would like" cuts no ice. They are very prone to it. Partially it's psychosomatic- many adults will tell you that nothing makes the urge to urinate more intense than finding the toilet is occupied. Now, imagine how difficult that is to cope with for a two-year-old. Partially, it's because they have the same eating and drinking routine.

So, at home, like most other parents of twins, I had two potties, and when out, I arranged things so that they could toilet independently, rather than leaving one to wet themselves.

Clandestino · 09/05/2016 15:17

They are very prone to it. Partially it's psychosomatic- many adults will tell you that nothing makes the urge to urinate more intense than finding the toilet is occupied.

Well, if your children are so well synchronized that they need to wee and poo at the very same second and cannot hold it for half of a minute it takes a child to take a wee, perhaps a pull-up nappy would be better? Just to show some respect to other people who don't particularly enjoy the view of a potty in public. I'm not squeamish but I've been raised to believe that those needs have become a private matter as a part of our culture. And that includes children who should learn that we use secluded spaces for these things and don't wee and pee in front of others unless it's an adult accompanying the child to a cubicle while it's very small and needs assistance. I'm perhaps not liberal enough to believe that we should always be child-led in everything. I'm not interested in seeing a child weeing or pooing into a potty and likewise I respect others enough to believe that they aren't interested in seeing mine either.

TaraCarter · 09/05/2016 15:22

"Our" culture? Are you from the UK?

Where are you getting this half-a-minute from? Toddler says they want the toilet, journey to supermarket toilet is at least five minutes. Ten minutes, sometimes.

Would you like to fund the cost of pull-ups × 2 for two years for any parent of twins?

kelda · 09/05/2016 15:30

Carry a potty all you like, just don't put it into a shopping trolley.

Clandestino · 09/05/2016 15:37

our culture. If you are implying that unlike other Western countries I've been to, in UK urinating and defecating in public is normal, then I apologize, I wasn't aware of that and stand corrected.

I had a look at some offers and hopefully they will enable you to make the occasional visit to a supermarket with a nappy on (considering you are doing potty training, you don't need them at all times) and perhaps this could help? It's 11p per nappy so it shouldn't be too much, hopefully.

www.aldi.co.uk/extra-large-nappies-size-6/p/059355005813800

Clandestino · 09/05/2016 15:41

And yes, we had urgent dashes to toilets too. In the middle of a shopping, when she said she has to go it meant looking for a toilet. We've always been accommodated without any issues once a child was involved, even had staff toilet made available. And whilst I appreciate the supportive staff, be it M&S or Lidl, it certainly had a practical aspect to, easier than having to clean up "an accident".

WhoDrewOnTheWall · 09/05/2016 16:16

It's a potty. A clean, not currently being used potty. The child is not shitting in the trolley or in the veg aisle or anywhere else in public view. The child has simply placed a clean, not currently in use potty into a not very clean by default supermarket trolley.

So. Fucking. What.

They didn't hurt anyone, presumably no one had to watch them use it, no one caught dysentery from it and died.

TaraCarter · 09/05/2016 16:37

If you are implying that unlike other Western countries I've been to, in UK urinating and defecating in public is normal, then I apologize, I wasn't aware of that and stand corrected.
I'm responding to the linguistic markers and assumptions (for example, children-sized toilets!) that suggest you are either from the USA, or are from a third country and learnt US English as am additional language. If this is in fact the case, it would be a bit much for you to lecture me on "our" cultural values, wouldn't it?

It would go some way towards explaining your posts, which are most unexpected. In my experience, I was generally the only mother who wouldn't countenance public urination behind bushes, and people certainly never took exception to the sight of a potty or a potette seat in the ladies.

Not really relevant to me... Where do you think I got the figure of two years from? That's two years from point A, potty training at two years old to point B, four years old, when they were old enough to sit on a toilet seat without falling in.

But all things considered, if you had extended your kind googling skills when it was relevant, I would just have given you a cup of tea and a creme egg.

I don't see why a toilet-trained toddler should have to mess themselves and go through the clean-up just to save someone from the sight of a potty, I don't see why a family should have to buy expensive nappies to save someone from the sight of a potty and I don't see why a family should increase their impact on the environment to save someone the sight of a potty.

And if I thought toilet facilities were going to be lacking, I put my kids in cloth nappies anyway.

Theoretician · 09/05/2016 16:48

DD wore nappies at night for long after she was dry in the day. Surely wearing them for an hour a week in a supermarket is not going to compromise training?

It seems some people start from a fixed assumption (potty training has started) and are thereafter unable to accommodate any idea that conflicts with that, however briefly. Or is there a good reason why not going out is considered the only alternative to taking a potty?

TaraCarter · 09/05/2016 16:55

But potty-training had finished, Theo.

My children were simply small, so I needed to take a potty and then a potette toilet seat so they didn't fall down the toilet. Combination of genetics and the long-term effects of being premature. Why wear nappies (especially in the summer!) when you can wear cotton underwear?

allegretto · 09/05/2016 18:05

I don't see what having twins has to do with it. I have twins and I never took a potty out. Using a potty in a supermarket is just grim.

TaraCarter · 09/05/2016 18:10

The other poster wanted to know why simply supporting my child on the toilet without needing a portable toilet insert was insufficient. The answer is because I'm not wide enough to support two children in two cubicles at once, and having twins meant this lack was an issue.

This came up because the other poster has one child who trained later and is of bigger build, I think.

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