To think the UK is just a bit crap?

[moussakka]

Right don't get me wrong - I love being British and am super proud of being British. But having moved back recently, I just can't escape the feeling that everything's a bit... I don't know, nothing TERRIBLE, just a bit... well, crap? I don't know what it is exactly, but there's just a certain grimmness that I just can't put my finger on. Am I imagining it? Is it just re-entry shock?

We moved back 3 years ago and I think it is a reverse culture shock.
The OP sounds like my Dh, he seriously hated being here. He seems better now but was very negative about just about everything I thought he was going to pack up and go back to the US.
We were in a very nice rural area, everyone friendly and polite and spread out on acreage. Here we do feel hemmed in. Dh longs for more space between the houses, he isn't very social and living so close to some pretty odd people doesn't help.
I was seriously disappointed to hear all the swearing and foul mouthed people when out shopping, for all the polite people who didn't march into you or barge past banging into you there was always a few that did. It spoils the day, and makes me sad for the UK I used to live in before the move.

Oh and wait until the summer starts OP - when you turn on the weather forecast and the man says it's going to be "a lovely warm day today, with highs of 27oc" and you step out of your front door and can smell summer in the air.

Beer gardens and light, evenings until near 10pm. Flying kites in Richmond Park, stocking up for an impromptu bbq and inviting all your mates.

Things really only look shite because of the grey skies. Once the sun shines it's the most hopeful country in the world. Alas, I can't cope with grey skies so I moved to the tropics.

But whilst things may seem shite if you read the Daily Fail, the UK has a bounty of brilliant things to offer.

Abernathy'sFringe

Child actors. Again, compared to the US, we just don't have convincing ones.

Made me laugh. I'm surprised the queen doesn't mention it in her Christmas speech.

OP, I get you. Used to live in Manchester (which we did really like) but when we'd drive back from Manchester Airport all you can see is grey followed by more grey. And you look at all the new estates with their identical dull houses (no offence intended) with their identical patch of grass and sensible cars at the front and modest conservatory to the rear. It is a bit of a downer sometimes.

And then you think "God, can't wait for a curry" and life is good again.

YANBU. For the "just a bit" part. Britain is REALLY crap.
(Yes, I am British, too. And yes, I will move away as soon as I retire and get my pension.)

I meant YABU.

Sorry, did not read the whole thread. My question is-why is UK population growing so rapidly, if the life is so shit here? I don't want to go back to my country of origin, UK is very very friendly compared to it!

Zhabr, my thoughts exactly!
My other question is where are all of these swearing and shouting people living, because i am not seeing them or hearing them?? It must be down to the areas others live in.

Mousaka here when, if, they have DC the father won't have ownership of those children.

If they get married he won't be able to instruct the bank to call him when she wants to withdraw money from her own personal account.

I used to live in South East Asia, and was sooo happy to move back to the UK! I love the gentle climate (in comparison to the heat and monsoon rains), and the fact that things generally 'work' here. I loved my time overseas (8 years) but that time made me appreciate being British. We are very lucky to live in a free country where we all have a chance to make something of our lives.

Last week I got the bus to the airport and visited Barcelona for a few days.
Last night I went to see LFC play Villarreal.
This evening I watched my son play cricket with a pint in my hand.
Next week I will get the bus to the arena to see The Manic Street Preachers.

I have lived abroad, but I love living where I live.

Kmetsch3 I want your life. Did you buy tickets at the airport?

Its re-entry shock.

You've built it up missing it over the last couple of years. Then when you come back to it being 'normal' rather than Fantasy Manchester its not the same. And you are missing the best bits of the place you left.

Its like the reverse of going on holiday.

The thing is, moaning is a communal thing too, which winds people up into thinking something is worse than it is.

Little by little you will start to appreciate the little things again.

I found returning to the UK hard at first despite missing it like crazy. Now I appreciate it more than ever.

I don't mind the UK, mostly. And there are some really good parts to life here. There are two things which massively tip the balance in favour of staying here:

1. proximity to family
2. (not as big a deal and would probably fade over time - I didn't live abroad very long, see 1.) constantly being a foreigner.

If it weren't for family I would definitely move back to France or Switzerland.

I lived abroad for a few years but always knew I was going to be coming back and also happen to live in a very naice part of Cheshire, I kind of felt the same as OP when I first returned but I put that down to myself having rose tinted glasses and some kind of grass is greener crept in, fwiw what made me feel better was I know a couple of people who have moved back to Germany/Holland etc and feel the same as I do.

Dam phone, if she doesn't use her account for 6 months the bank won't ask him if he wants to close that account, and move anymoney in it to his account.

If they divorce, or split from a partner, child maintenance won't be based on the mother's education level.

If a husband goes off with a 20 something after 10/15/20 years of marriage the mother won't be out on her arse while he and the children play happy families with the 20 something.

If they get pregnant and feel that continuing with pregnancy is not an option they have an option to terminate.

These are just a few things, lots more though

The bbc and the NHS - in any state makes it not so crap.
Democracy, English language, queuing, stiff upper lip! I love all this.

I think quality of life has dropped, everything seems harder. It grinds you down after a while, roads too busy, everywhere seems crammed with people.

When we moved back to UK from Dubai a few years ago there were a few things we all struggled to adjust to (the greyness rather than the rain, public transport, living in a smaller flat after a large villa etc). However I was very grateful to be back, to establish a life in a place that was 'ours' rather than a country we were only welcome in while we had a job and toed the line, coming home felt like freedom and a return to a place where I shared values. We didn't refused to look back, we appreciated everything we could and I'm so happy we made the move.

I was very clear there was no point hankering after the luxury stuff ( that is superficial trappings anyway, usually obtained at someone else's expense/labour) such as swimming pools, earning more etc as the price for that stuff was living there forever, and that's not what we wanted and we didn't want to bring our DC up in that world.

I agree with pp, it depends where you moved from etc. But also wholeheartedly believe if you look for crappiness and dissatisfaction, that is what you will find

I think what saddens me is the lack of aesthetic care in domestic architecture and urban planning that Britain seems to have demonstrated in my lifetime. Modern houses almost unanimously look shit. They're built by developers who do not give a shit and are allowed to get away with it.

They don't have to, but they do (although I have to admit that I've noticed a bit of an improvement recently- too late for swathes of the country, though). We went to Marrakesh a couple of years ago, where they're experiencing a bit of a boom- lots of construction, lots of new roads. All the new apartments seemed to basically harmonise with each other (OK, all being the same colour helped!), and all the new roads had big planted strips down the centre- palms, olives, even roses! We flew back to Gatwick, and rolling through the South East on the train I just turned to XP and went "God, this is so fucking ugly!" Mile after mile of horrible housing estates. A developing country's getting it right- and we're not.

Same with town centres. Scruffy, ugly, garish plastic signs and advertising. No sense of aesthetics. Yet, if you look carefully, these signs are often slapped on beautiful, graceful Victorian buildings. This was driven home today, as I was working in a seaside town that's a bit of a carbuncle yes, you, Newquay, yet if you turned your back on the town and looked out to sea it was a view fit for absolute angels. Except, of course, for the hideous housing estates slapped on the clifftops in the middle distance .

Madbengalmum there are a fair few here, Somerset, and where I grew up in London it was quite common. Not now though, it's all trendy bars and million pound flats

I grew up in London. Have lived in NZ for over a decade. Would like to return to the UK, but it just isn't practical. I have been back a number of times to see family.

These are the good things about the UK compared to where I am.

1. Cheaper and better choice of food and drink.
2. Cheaper and better choice and quality of manufactured products.
3. Cheap holidays abroad to a variety of interesting places.
4. Cultural mix.
5. No earthquakes.
6. Low crime.
7. Vibrant arts scene.
8. Very generous social security provision (genuinely no sarcasm here).
9. Generous health provision.

10. Kind people (if reserved). 11. Lots of social activities, not just sport. 12. Public transport. 13. History and traditions. 14. Gentle summers. 15. Beer. 16. Handsome architecture, both old and new. 17. Queing. 18. Humour. 19. Civility. 20. Intellectualism. 21. Proximity to Europe. 22. Specialisation in industry and professions.

I could easily continue. Did think the Boaty McBoatface thing was a bit daft though, and even dafter that it's considered some kind of strike for the common person.

Kennington :The bbc ...
The BBC is one of the worst things in Britain. It's the reason you have to pay the TV-licence. Do you realise that you have to pay a TV-licence if you watch live television over the internet from any country? One day I'll take it to Daily Mail or similar and ask how much of the fee the BBC is passing on to tv stations around the world, since if I only watch, say, Spanish tv over the internet, if it's live, I have to have a tv licence.

moussakka
Sorry just want to say, wasn't a post intended to be negative at all

So in what way other than negative could your title be viewed?

No, the UK is not just a bit crap. It has great people, wonderful countryside, four seasons - we are currently enjoying perfect Spring weather, we don't have a head of state who opened their big mouth which has resulted in a bloody migrant mess in Europe, the NHS, history, no guns, to name but a few.

stubborn remember that Cornwall has washed it's hands of Newquay. It's the sacrificial lamb! What a cackhole it is.

Toad I have to disagree with you about intellectualism. I've found Europeans and coastal Americans way more prepared to have actual conversations about Stuff than Brits.

Coming back to the UK from a fabulous lifestyle abroad (you should have seen the harbour-side apartment with its 4.5m high ceilings! you should have seen how clean the streets were!) left me grieving but the diversity and simple depth of culture leave me with no doubt that it was a great move.

As I get older I'm more interested in what the culture feels like and for me the UK scores very highly.