To think the UK is just a bit crap?

[moussakka]

Right don't get me wrong - I love being British and am super proud of being British. But having moved back recently, I just can't escape the feeling that everything's a bit... I don't know, nothing TERRIBLE, just a bit... well, crap? I don't know what it is exactly, but there's just a certain grimmness that I just can't put my finger on. Am I imagining it? Is it just re-entry shock?

Really? People leave their houses unlocked in nz and keys in the car. Obviously you get some crime in cities but that's normal.

I felt the same as you, OP, when we moved back to the UK after just 2 years of living in the USA. Everything seemed crammed together and too small, the weather was grim and and it just didn't feel like home at all. If I could have got on the first flight back to California, I would have!

I got quite depressed for a while and the children took a long time to settle into new schools.

Rest assured, it does get better. Once you re-establish a circle of friends, start going out and doing enjoyable things it all looks a lot nicer.

Pacific, yes! The last time I visited the uk I couldn't believe how loud and sweary everyone was! Look, I'm no prude when it come to swearing, but it was loud, in public, on the streets. It really stood out to me.

Things I find crap - chavs (they are in other countries too, but not all).
Lack of neighbourliness, people don't go out of their way to help or be friendly compared to the US.
Hunting animals in a country where the flipping things have barely any space and can't even get away, they're all penned in by fences and hedgerows.
A general immaturity and lack of testosterone in 95% of the men. I think there's too much estrogen in the water...
Child actors. Again, compared to the US, we just don't have convincing ones.

Consider the uniquely good bits though - we don't boast about our earnings or expect a man to pay for everything on a date.
We are far too sensible for the most part, to mix church and state.
Our old buildings are actually old.
For the most part we are sensible drinkers, we aren't only teetotalers vs alcoholics (again, the US).
We are self deprecating and don't do fake enthusiasm.
The majority of us don't have therapists or maids, we're just too real.
The countryside can be very cosy and pretty and not at all dangerous.
Our chocolate is nice.
Our stand up comedy is brilliant.

I don't think posts like 'piss off if you don't like it' are helpful. I can sympathise with the OP. I've lived in the UK for more than half my life now and whenever I go back to my country of origin the difference between the country I knew, grew up in, and what it is now is really bad. I don't recognise it anymore and it can be quite baffling and painful at times.

On a happier note, having been here for over 20 years I feel my roots are deep enough, I feel at home here. I love the beauty of the countryside, the old and the new clashing in places like Londoon, love the humour, really appreciate the ease and relative comfort living here gives.

Glitter really? So, the pot-holes that the council don't have the money to fix, the litter on the sides of the road, it's all an attitude problem?

I disagree, I think the state of the environment and surroundings in the UK isn't as green and pleasant as it used to be (it is in the green and pleasant bits but not in the towns and cities). That's a consequences of political and economic reasons. I find it quite motivating to think carefully about this and vote accordingly. I think it's odd to pretend it's not happening and all about attitude.

Seeing the grubbiness doesn't take away from the loveliness of a green hill or walking on a pebbly beach.

It's possible to both love living somewhere, but see the flaws and want to change them.

If you think it rains too much, you're living on the wrong side of the country. It's pretty dry over on the east. Too dry sometimes - I sometimes pray for a bit of rain to change things up!

Skiptonlass!!! Yess!! I love all these things about the UK too!! I suppose this is what's confusing me... was I just idealising home... is it just getting settled somewhere new... am I perceiving real differences (am thinking in comparison with German directness and unashamed dynamism - possibly).... when I meet non-British people I love introducing them to British things and am unashamedly proud brit. Maybe it's just not the same when everyone's British??! [Grin]

I lived in Germany for most of my childhood, but also Wales, England and Scotland.
I liked everywhere I lived except for Larkhill in Wiltshire, which I found oddly lacking in any kind of atmosphere or sense of place. Even that wasn't hideous, just a bit meh.

I miss things about Germany (Berliners, more formal manners,great coffee, Bratwurst). I loved things about Wales- we lived in Pendine which is just beautiful and the people were lovely. Every place had something to recommend it, sometimes it just takes a shift in attitude to see it.

Now I live in one of the most remote parts of Scotland and that has good things too. If my house was on the mainland I would probably have to replace the lock on the front door for example, which broke 10 years ago. Of course I could dwell on the crap broadband, impossibility of getting stuff delivered or the high winds, biting cold and midges. I just choose not to because that wouldn't make me happier.

I do think there is a less optimistic feeling generally at the moment, but the economy isn't great in a lot of places and there are bound to be worries about the referendum result. I expect it will even out eventually.

It's just reverse culture shock - totally common.

I had it badly when I left the UK and returned to my home country.

You'll more than likely ride it out as you settle back in.

A nation that voted for Boaty McBoatface is a nation to be proud of.

But it is a mar on our democracy that we didn't use it.

Op, I think it's quite difficult to move back sometimes.
I've moved a lot in my life and sometimes I don't feel like a really belong anywhere. I certainly don't belong where I am now (I'm trying, but I don't think it'll ever feel welcoming) but when I do go home so much has changed and there's a big dissonance between what I remember and think home 'should, be and the reality.

Perhaps that's what's bothering you. It's a kind of existential angst type thing. I understand.

MiddleAssProblem Yeah I thought nothing of it when it was first mentioned as everywhere has crime.. Then they all individually brought it up at some point and said it was so bad that they didn't want to raise their kids there. It probably is just certain areas then, I know several Brits who've moved there and not experienced any crime! Middle Earth can't be that bad

BillBryson are they livingIin expat areas? We moved from Latin America and most of the expats are in the same area of the city, their DC all at the same school etc.

We have Chilean friends who feel totally safe in Qatar, but that's because their house and the kids school are in an expat compound.

I am British and live in Denmark. I know exactly what you mean about hte general negativity. Also conflict. There's always lots of conflict. Things are a LOT more convieniant tho in the UK. I dream of being able to order my groceries online, or even click and collect! The UK is further ahead in equality - on a recent trip my deaf girl guide was SO happy with the availablity of the hearing loop. Information is more centralised and better presented - I think small organsations and companies are better at marketing. But something I do notice is that the children seem much more anxious than here. It's really difficult to describe. I miss the amount of high culture. And primarni. I need new pretty pjs.

Give me Britain over Germany any day, a bit of British inefficiency goes a long way to making me feel more at home.
That said, I was in Berlin when the city was almost bankrupt and the public green space was not being tended to save money, so that looked odd. And the motorways are SCARY and the drivers rude - directness can easily equal rudeness, give me a polite British queue any day, at least you know where you stand (literally). Not that I wish to slag off the Germans, but this is making me actually like the ease of everyday life here, not thinking everything needs to be done a certain way.

Everything does seem a bit rubbish often with awful weather, cuts, NHS being dismantled, more cuts, litter, antisocial behaviour etc.

But then you get a day like we had yesterday when the bluebells are out, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the leaves are unfurling and I think...god, there's absolutely nowhere like Britain in springtime.

To further that, the place could be great, but British people are getting more and more on my nerves, with their horrible negativity, their willingness to knock people down and sneer at aspiration and achievement and ambition....this stuff is just so wearing.

Surely midsomer is the last place anyone would want to live? How could you sleep at night?

Well, yes the crime rate is quite high! but it's so pretty!

DH and I feel similar OP. We don't live in the UK any more (and I miss it often, actually) but every time we visit it just feels a bit despairing.

It's really sad. There are definite things I miss but I don't actually want to move back at the moment and that makes me feel a bit depressed if I think about it too much. England and Wales are my home - but they don't feel like viable places to live.

It might be you're experiencing what they call reverse culture shock, too.

I left the UK 8 1/2 years ago and I think I miss the UK that I view through my rose tinted glasses (warm pubs on Christmas Eve singing to the Pogues, rolling green hills, the Vicar of Dibley, BOGOF at Sainsburys, that kind of stuff...) When I go back I really remember why I love it, but those things aren't enough for me to want to move back permanently.

I do remember having to come back during the Jubilee festivities just prior to the Olympics and man alive the country was buzzing. There was bunting and everything was festooned with the Union Jack (or at least everything in M&S anyway) and the atmosphere was just brilliant. And hopeful. I wish that kind of "togetherness" could have been maintained, it was infectious. It was like national pride took over completely and it was wonderful to see. It was the only time I ever felt that I wished I lived back in the UK, then and during the Olympics.

As it was, I watched the Opening and Closing ceremonies of the Olympics from here (the Caribbean) with my hand on my heart and tears in my eyes, it was so brilliant.

I would imagine that it does take a while to settle back down and find all the really good bits about living back in the UK.

Bloody annoying phone is playing up

We moved back for security of our DDs and as much as I miss LA I wouldn't swap the rights they, and I, have here for all the sunshine, beef and wine in all the Americas.

Sorry just want to say, wasn't a post intended to be negative at all - was more wondering how others had found it moving back than anything. Possibly should have phrased the question differently! Ha ha.

I think it really doesn't help with all of the cuts and austerity stuff. Germany's economy is doing well and it shows. That's not the kind of thing which lasts decades, though.

@adora now I'm definitely thinking lots of sunshine, beef and wine ;) just curious tho, what rights do you mean? Glad to hear you feel settled back in uk!