to think that guests should receive a meal at a wedding

[Roversandrhodes]

Oh and I recently attended the wedding of good old friends of mine ,oh has met them a handful of times.
Wedding was at 12 and night guests arrived at 7.After the ceremony we were shown to a room for a 'mingle' whilst the wedding party had their photos.We were then taken to our assigned tables and sat down to a scone and jam.This was it ,all day.

Until about 9pm when a burger van arrived .

Aibu to think this was a little rude ?Some guests had travelled from Germany and Scotland to be there ,it was Friday so many guests inc myself and oh had taken time off work ,no kids were aloud so we (and many other guests had arranged childcare) ,we travelled an hour to get there ,brought a gift ,etc.I don't resent doing any of this ,I was happy to be invited but I just think it's a little unreasonable to expect guests to go from morning til 8pm on one scone each and a spoonful of jam.

Thoughts ?

[WriteforFun1]

OP I'm confused
I thought you mean the 7pm guests got a scone which is bad enough
Are you saying there was no food if you arrived at 12?

[ChicRock]

You should have phoned the nearest Dominos to deliver pizza. You'd have been the most popular person there.

In all honesty, I'd have left at about 8pm, and explained to the B&G that we were leaving to go for a meal as we were starving.

[GinIsIn]

I went to a wedding a while ago where they had a hot buffet. All well and good. Except they called people up table by table. It was a massive wedding. We were on table 17. I was training for a marathon at the time and had run 25kms that morning, I have never been so hangry in my life!!

[Beepbopboop]

Maybe it was their way of making the alcohol spread further

[Winnetsthepoo]

I thought that was the 'deal' with weddings. You spend tonnes of money on new outfits, presents, getting there, staying over night and in return you at least get a hunk of leather-tough beef with luke warm gravy.

[dailyfailrag]

A room full of friends and relatives drinking on an empty stomach sounds like a BAD idea. I'm surprised there wasn't a fight. I'm another one who thinks they were off having a feast in the next room!

If they were trying to save money they could have had a 5pm ceremony, had just one set of guests rather than the silly day/evening guest nonsense, and had the burger van at 7ish. Sounds like they just wanted to cram in maximum guests for cash/presents without having to actually look after them.

[PerspicaciaTick]

OP - I've just read your most recent update. That doesn't sound unconventional, they sound barmy! Had they never been to a wedding themselves? They sound like aliens who had read a bridal magazine and got it all wrong.

[Floggingmolly]

Where was the wedding actually held? I can't imagine many venues that usually serve food would be impressed with a burger van pulling into the car park.
It sounds incredibly tacky...

[Winterbiscuit]

YANBU. If you invite someone you provide hospitality and that includes enough food and drink.

[ClashCityRocker]

Sounds terrible.

I don't think you need to fork out for a three course wedding breakfast and evening buffet, but there are plenty of ways to feed your guests reasonably cheaply.

But for a twelve hour celebration you need to provide something more substantial than a scone and a burger.

For me, feeding the guests was far more of a priority over venue or number of guests.

The worst thing is she didn't alert the guests in advance - if her intention was that everyone went off and did their own thing for a couple of hours in the 'gap' she should have made that clear.

[MiddleClassProblem]

Loads of places let catering vans do it. It's quite common now...

[MiddleClassProblem]

I have a friend who's wedding cost a grand and her mum did the buffet in the church hall. We had hairbo and cheese on the same plate. It was amazing

[n0ne]

YANBU - as far as I'm concerned, after the actual ceremony the most important bit of a wedding (before dress, flowers, entertainment, anything!) is feeding and watering the guests generously. It's supposed to be a celebration! How can people celebrate if they're starving hangry?!

[MrsJayy]

I was at a wedding where a burger and hotdog van came at night we were fed during the day my friend was at 1 the other year when an ice cream van came grown ups running for ice cream and strawberry sauce fab

[noeffingidea]

Sounds like a really shit wedding to me. If you invite guests then look after them, for goodness sake.
A buffet or afternoon tea, or barbecue, or fish and chip supper are all perfectly fine choices, IMO, but there should be plenty of it , and a fair choice as well.
As a vegetarian, I wouldn't have eaten a burger so would have been starving.

[MiddleClassProblem]

noeffingidea with a bab of fried onions

[RockNRollNerd]

If you're hungry at a do it is the only thing you notice/remember

The wedding dress could be made out of 75,000 live butterflies gently adorning her, the band could be talented woodland creatures, The venue could be the ice queens palace, and all I'ld remember if we weren't fed enough is being unpleasantly hunger-drunk then getting a pm hangover!

This with 75,000 bells on. My parents kindly paid for most of our wedding, when we were at the picking meals stage me, mum and DH-to-be had a lovely hour picking stuff and my dad sat there reading the paper and drinking his coffee. When the venue manager got to the drinks bit, the leather sofa creaked as my dad stirred himself - took one look and said "1 bottle of wine per table is nowhere near enough, there's nothing worse than a wedding where they've skimped on the booze - we'll have house white and red in circulation and just keep refilling glasses throughout the meal" . To be fair we have no relatives so all the guests on 'our' side were my parents mates from college and the cricket club who I had grown up with and he knew their drinking capacity!

[PPie10]

Yanbu, sounds awful. A burger van, how cheap are they.

[TheEmmaDilemma]

Fuck that for a game of cards. I'd have left after the scone.

I got married, there were canapés during the photos, 3 course meal and then egg and bacon butties for the even do.

[LineyReborn]

Knowing the evening do didn't start till 7pm, I'd have pissed off to Wetherspoons for a meal and a cold bottle of wine.

I wouldn't have sat around staring at scone crumbs and drinking warm bitter for six hours.

[ScreenshottingIsNotJournalism]

you know what! I bet it wasn't even cheap!

Those novelty food vans probably charge a tonne of "wedding tax" (cause they're so quirky and "different")

Sometimes I think people try too hard to be different. Some of the best weddings I've been to were "bog sandard" on paper, but everyone was happy and fed and they were brilliant!

[StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine]

What's the fastest cake in the world?

Scone.

And we would have been If that was all that was on offer. The split rooms makes it sound like they just did everything on the cheap. You can do weddings on the cheap - but that sounds like it's done badly on the cheap.

The burger van was probably £10 per head before 9pm.

[Elledouble]

I went to a wedding abroad a couple of years ago (family who live there). We were told that cake would be served mid-afternoon and there wouldn't be a meal til the evening so we were apprehensive and wolfed down sandwiches before the ceremony. However.

When they said cake, they meant CAKE. It was a massive dessert buffet. It was epic. And there was a free bar. It was a brilliant wedding.

[MakingJudySmile]

Well I've been to a wedding where it was a sandwich for the wedding breakfast. Wedding started at 11. Scone or sandwich it's not enough. I had travelled from abroad and spend a lot in time and money getting there.

Thinking back all the weddings I've been too that i would say weren't good weddings are weddings were food was lacking.

Someone up thread said something about late in the day weddings so that the B&G 'only' have to provide a buffet. Can see a problem with that; even sandwiches in this situations might be ok - you're not there for the time you'd be eating your afternoon and evening meals. A late wedding is only going to be when you eat your evening meal.

Last wedding I was at food was plentiful. Full sit down dinner with seconds if desired. It was a brilliant wedding - not just based on the food - because no one was hungry sll the other weddingy stuff got noticed.

Food is Important!!

[expatinscotland]

Oh, that's awful!

I have been to some where no meal was served, but they were like what MadameDeath wrote about, they were at times of the day in between meals. Also, as I knew the couples were teetotal for religious reasons, that the wedding would be 'dry' - no alcohol. One was at 2pm and the invitation stated there would be 'cake and coffee/punch' in the church hall following. That was the entire reception. Again, it was stated, cake and punch reception.

I have also been to a BBQ wedding reception where the couple asked people to bring sides. It was a second wedding for both and quite informal, the couple married outside on top of a hill and the invitation was worded so that you knew what the situation would be (couple provided meats and veggie substitutes for BBQ, plus beer and wine (they made gallons of each, delicious!) and cake and we guests were more than happy to provide sides, crisps, BYOB spirits. Plenty even brought instruments and we had an amazing BBQ and campout.

But you don't just strand people for hours and hours with no food.

I'd have left.