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AIBU?

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Original poster

Taking photos in local pool-have I over reacted?

102 replies

williwonti · 05/05/2016 21:24

I don't think so but have a knot in stomach. Basically, glanced at man sat next to me (maybe 18/20 yrs old) and he'd just taken a picture of my son and no other child in shot. He then took a short vid and another picture which included his sister. We were waiting at side during their swimming lessons. It was done very casually and I didn't get any weird vibes. I think he was probably/hopefully messing with phone as that's how it felt. But there are posters saying no photography! Now, ordinarily i have no issues asking people to conform (think mother and baby space offenders) but he was with all family and i was on own with baby. I panicked a bit and then just told the instructor after to pls clamp down on it. She wasn't impressed and insisted on following him and asking him to delete any taken. I know i should have tapped him on shoulder myself and asked him not to but it didn't feel right. He did not know he was my son as i was sitting away a bit. I feel awful that he will have been stopped but thought of random nan with pics of my son would feel worse i'm sure. Did i over react?

OP posts:
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 05/05/2016 21:29

You may have over-reacted if you'd gone nuclear on him. But you didn't! It sounds like the photo was taken out of thoughtlessness, rather than any more sinister aim. You addressed it. Just because you didn't address it personally doesn't matter. Maybe you subconsciously thought it would get out of hand, which was why you approached staff.

Original poster
williwonti · 05/05/2016 21:34

I just felt a bit vulnerable being on own with children as it might look accusatory but still....is odd.

OP posts:
Shirkingfromhome · 05/05/2016 21:37

No I don't think so. There are plenty of signs around public swimming pools not to take photos. He did, you reported him and it was dealt with appropriately. You weren't hysterical or accusatory. I think you would be feeling rather more uneasy if you didn't say anything. Don't feel bad, you're protecting your son.

squeezed · 05/05/2016 21:37

You haven't overreacted at all. I think you handled it very calmly. I don't think I would have been that calm myself.

Littlepeople12345 · 05/05/2016 21:38

I think you did the right thing, I probably wouldn't have said anything if it was just his sister in the pics but he had no reason to take ones of your DS.

Wolfiefan · 05/05/2016 21:39

There was probably no sinister motive but there's a good reason for the no photo rule. You did the right thing.

Griphook · 05/05/2016 21:46

He shouldn't take pictures of children that are nothing to do with him then, I ds happened to get in the picture so be it, but on his own yanbu.

Crisscrosscranky · 05/05/2016 21:55

He didn't have any other kids in shot but you had him told off for taking pictures of his own child enjoying the pool Confused sorry IMO but YABU.

Crisscrosscranky · 05/05/2016 21:57

Sorry OP - retread and he took a photo of your son not his?! That's weird and YWNBU

DixieNormas · 05/05/2016 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DixieNormas · 05/05/2016 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChocolateStash · 05/05/2016 22:06

YADNBU. It is weird of anyone to do that, I would have done the same

JohnCheese · 05/05/2016 22:11

YAdefinitelyNA. I think you reacted very calmly.

And I think it is very unusual for an 18/20 year old to takes pics of kids that are not related to him. Creepy. And especially as there are signs 'no photos' around the pool.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 05/05/2016 22:13

YANBU.

There was no hysteria in your part, or the part of the instructor. There are all sorts of really good reasons why filming/photography should not be allowed in pools,.and it needs to be enforced.

katsopolis · 05/05/2016 22:15

If he was obviously taking photos of children that he has nothing to do with him, YANBU.

But if it's possible he has taken a photo of other children while meaning to take a picture of a child he was with- YABU.

But there is no way of knowing and if the rules are no photography the rules are no photography and you were right alerting the teacher to the situation. For all you know (they wouldn't tell you) he might of done it before/they are aware who he is.

Anybody reasonable wouldn't have a problem with being confronted about it. I'm sure we have all bent the rules a little in the past and it's perfectly possible this is what this is.

squiggleirl · 05/05/2016 22:21

The pool where my kids swim has signs everywhere about not taking photos. Every now and then, people still attempt to. The deal is a staff member will ask you to delete the photos, and agree to allow them check the phone to ensure all photos are deleted, or they call the guards to deal with you. Simple.

Taking photos of children, even if they are your own, is just not tolerated.

amarmai · 05/05/2016 22:24

ywnbu ,op. Actually the casual ,open way he took a photo of just your son wd alert a person who deals with this offense. It made you question yourself didn't it?. Make sure you give no info re address ,phone #s, internet,schools, playgroups, etc to anyone there and watch out for where he is when you leave.Talk to the person who was on the ball and made him delete. S/he will paint a picture that will make you aware of why this is posted as a nono.

Cadenza1818 · 05/05/2016 22:28

Actually same thing happened to me recently but it wasn't a man taking them. I did actually say something. It's not about it being about something sinister, I just don't want my child's pic on someone's device without permission. So yanbu

Original poster
williwonti · 05/05/2016 23:15

Ok, feel bit better., might actually sleep. Wished I'd handled it slightly different but didn't so oh well . I watched him take the pics so i know his sister was too far away. At least wont do it again.. Now really need to ask instructor what happened before next week's lesson so i am in the know (i hid in cubicles). Guess i'll have to ring in week.

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadow · 05/05/2016 23:20

You did the right thing.

I was told off by a lifeguard for taking a picture in the pool. And rightly so!

I did not actually take a photo, I was sending a snap chat to my cousin (as wifi was free and texting isnt) of my feet on the floor, but the life guard saw a flash from my phone from the corner of his eye. He could not know whether there was any kids in my picture, or just feet and concrete, but he absolutely was right to tell me off. I should have thought better and not been ambiguous with my phone!

BillSykesDog · 05/05/2016 23:22

YANBU, I think you handled it excellently.

NinaSimoneful · 05/05/2016 23:47

Why would you want to bring your phone into a swimming pool anyway? To take some photos of your kids I guess They generally handle water about as well as mogwai do.

NinaSimoneful · 05/05/2016 23:50

(Mogwai as in Gremlins. Not the rock band. I have zero information relating to the rock bands ability to handle water.)

AerithEarthling · 06/05/2016 00:07

Did he actually take a photo amd you saw the photo?
Or could he have been playing on his phone?
Where were you standing to be able to see his phone scren?

AerithEarthling · 06/05/2016 00:12

Sorry just re read you were sitting next to him.
No yabu that is weird of him to do even if its not sinister

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