To want my child in her class photo

[amysmum18]

DD has been off school today with tonsillitis. She's feeling a lot better but may not be well enough for school tomorrow. The yearly class photos are taking place tomorrow and she really wants to be in it. I'd be really disappointed if she missed it. She's in reception so this would be her first class picture.
AIBU to ask the school if she could come in just to be in the picture. She would literally arrive in the room, stand there for the photo and then be whisked back off home.

I wouldn't send my son to school with tonsilitis. I would rather he rested and got over it properly. My colleague sent her DD to school with it and she ended up in hospital with a secondary infection.

Besides which it can be really painful and absolutely miserable. I had it a couple of years ago and was off work for a week.

I remember school photos being a big deal when DS was in reception but soon lost interest. They don't change that much from one year to another anyway so not worth buying them every year.

My Dsis was very poorly a few years ago.
It just happened to clash with a series of things we had coming up.
She missed out on:
Her final class party (her teacher who she had for 3 years was leaving)
Saying goodbye to all her friends before the summer
Spending the last day at school with her best friend who was moving abroad
A close family members wedding which she was meant to be a bridesmaid

She was so upset. She cried and begged us to take her into school and to the wedding. There was absolutely no way we could take her anywhere.

Most children miss out on something they want to do at some point in their lives.

When she returned to school in September, she caught every bug going. Vomiting bug, coughs and colds etc. She had a very poor immune system for over a year after and just a cold left her in bed for a week. She missed the Christmas party that same year due to illness.

We wouldn't have taken her to any of the above events just because she wanted to go. She was ill.

However, it depends on your child and the school. You know her best. You know if she can manage.

YANBU to want her in the picture though BUT just incase she can't go, reassure her that their will be others.

I hope she is better soon

I can understand you wanting you DD to be in the class photo, at my DDs school they only take 2 with the whole class, one in reception and 1 in year 6 so it is nice to have them both to compare, also the reception one is put in our local paper! My DS missed his last secondary school photo which was put in a year book, it's sad seeing all the children except him in it!

My DS missed a class photo because he was ill and the teacher and DH both said we should just have brought him in for the pic and then taken him back home.

Take a separate photo of her in school uniform when she's feeling and looking better. Get someone familiar with Photoshop to add her into the photo.
It's been done before and no-one would ever know the difference.

I think it's you who will be disappointed. You really need to think of your dd's best interests. The school may be able to give you an approximate time but these things rarely run to schedule and your DD may wait a while, tiring her out and exposing the other children to her germs.

your incredibly selfish and as a person with a family member with no immune system, your actions could kill, and no I'm not being over dramatic

I honestly don't want to offend you but I find it very difficult to believe that a person with no immune system would be able to attend a creche or a primary school without any problems. There are more germs flying around there than on a public transport system. They sneeze and cough and don't cover their mouths, go to a loo and don't wash their hands (not all of them but many simply forget), they pick their noses and are potentially brewing a case of sniffles or something more serious at all times. Also, many illnesses are contagious before the sick person actually shows any symptoms. Once my DD started going to a creche, me and DH were constantly ill as she was bringing home one germ after another.
I find it difficult to believe that just few days ago a poster got a proper roasting here because she wished for her colleague with a bad cold to stay at home as she was pregnant. The thread was like a pissing contest of people describing how bad their cold or whatever illness was and they still soldiered on, sat on a public transport, sneezing, coughing, spreading their germs merrily around and then the same at work.
It's 5 minutes of the day. I don't believe a school would have a problem with that.

Just to add - there are many asymptomatic carriers among kids. I was one of those. Despite all vaccinations my brother had scarlet fever, mumps and whatever else one after another. They did tests and found out I was "responsible". So many kids are spreading diseases without actually showing any symptoms.

Tonsillitis has NO exclusion period! Get a grip people.

Unless there's an immune compromised child in the class- which the school should have advised you of- there is no issue whatsoever.

As for being well enough for whole day, my daughter has a friend with cancer, when she's well enough she goes to school for part of the day, even if she is still in hospital at the time. Perhaps if she can manage that, she should also be there all day- going by your rule of being well enough to put on clothes and turn up for ten minutes meaning you can do the whole day...

Why do people have to be so mean?

There are different types of immune suppressed kids. Mine doesn't have cancer or no immune system at all, but they do have a chronic condition and normal illnesses are much more serious for them. Tonsillitis will probably put my DC in hospital for a week.
We don't advertise it to the whole school though, DC stands out enough without being even more different. We understand that there will be illnesses we can't avoid in school, and we hope for the best.
We just tend to trust that the other parents won't do stupid things like haul in sick children just to get a fucking photo taken.

But that makes us mean Cry somewhere else, ffs, and count yourself lucky that when your child gets tonsillitis they are well enough to pose for pictures, and not on a fucking drip in the paeds ward.

Penguin Like cshimmon said, if there are immune suppressed children, the school would have told the OP and told her she can't bring her DD in to school to have the photo done. You don't have to advertise it to the whole school, but if you have made school aware of everything they need to know (which you will have done) then they will make sure when things like this come up, your DD's health is their priority along with other children who are also at risk. There is no need to be so aggressive though.

It's you harping on about it that's made her upset most likely,

My 5 yo dd would most likely be oblivious to this kind of stuff until they turned up.

If she had tonsilitis then she shouldn't be nipping into school.

And like I said, we don't advertise, and the school wouldn't tell another parent not to do it. Well actually my school would, but not for that reason, but because they know like any other sensible person that you don't bring your sick children to school for photos! So my DC wouldn't come into it.
But if I was at OP's school, her childs class teacher for example wouldn't know about my DC. Few people do.

What about the schools who are more concerned about attendance? A lot of schools are encouraging parents to send in sick children!

Not to swan in for pics and back out again they aren't.

I haven't read all the responses and so somebody may have already said this but tonsillitis allegedly isn't contagious in the normal manner.
I used to suffer from regular bouts of it as a teen and my dr told me that the germ lives on your skin all the time and if you are prone to getting it or run down/stressed/teenage hormones etc then you don't catch it from somebody else but get it from yourself.
I've not ever heard anybody else say that before or since but when I kept getting it I didn't know anybody else with it to be catching it from.

I'd take her into school if she is well enough. If she's unwell the teachers will send her home. You can't keep her off in case she infects others. They could pick it up from the supermarket. If her temperature has gone back to normal and she's not struggling, I think it's reasonable to send her in. Tonsillitis can be caused by all sorts of colds. Just because your child has inflamed tonsils, doesn't mean another child will. If it was a sickness bug that would be different.

For me the idea of either being well enough to go to school or not is that I wouldn't consider getting my kid up, dressed & into school for something as trivial as a photo.

If they really was all that they could manage then they still need to be at home resting.

"Chicken pox?
Vomiting bug?
Flu?
Hacking cough?

All of these are contagious, just like tonsillitis."

bakeoffcake must know more than Public Health doctors that make policy then! Here are all those diseases with the "Recommended period to be kept away from
school, nursery or childminders"

Chicken pox - Until all vesicles have crusted over
Diarrhoea and/or vomiting - 48 hours from last episode of diarrhoea or vomiting
Flu - Until recovered
Cough - doesn't even get a mention. (Perhaps a "hacking cough" is a technical term that wasn't covered by my medical school?!)

Tonsillitis - None

So not quite the same.

Except countess re chicken pox you can ignore all advice if your child really really wants to go to the school fair. Then it's ok. According to a previous poster. Sheesh.

A disappointed child who learns to cope with disappointment is a child who grows into a stronger well-balanced adult.
It is a perfect opportunity for a learning experience very new disappointment dealt with means that one day when life throws a major spanner in the works (and it will nobody gets away with it forever) she will have the resilience to cope knowing she has had disappointments before and the world did not end.
It is also a good way to learn that when disappointments happen the parent can find another way to help them cope through it. You can't always make sad things go away so it is just as well to practice coping skills with something as trivial as this. You need to learn how to parent without caving in every time your child cries wildly. Your child needs to learn that crying wildly is not a way to win and make you do what they want you to do. Your child will feel safer and happier knowing you are in charge and sometimes that means saying No and you will still be friends even when you say no and she needs to learn that. It is important for your relationship long term.

Countess I didn't mention "recommended period to be kept away from school"

You don't need official advice to know you keep you're child away from school if they're ill with tonsillitis and a "hacking cough".

You do need a smidge of common sense and concern for others. Something which some on here appear not to have.

Keep your germy kid at home!